Is the secret with women just to not give a damn?



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:15 am 
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There are a lot of women at my job cause I work at a call center. Ever since I started working there I have been overthinking things to the point of me not knowing what to say or being scared I would screw up my chances with this girl or that girl and wouldnt even bother approaching because of it. I just recently stopped giving a damn what women think and dont try to game them or impress them or do any tricks.

I have been getting much better responses from women and havent been afraid to talk to them because I dont have some goal or care that I might screw up. Im just chattin. Hell, sometimes I even say something bizarre or walk away in the middle of the convo and I have been getting much better reactions.

Have any of you guys noticed this working well for you or is it just me?

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:04 am 
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The key s certainly to feel relaxed, you should be thinking about what too say, but you should "not care" about the outcome. Women are extremly intuitive, they know when you're nervous or insecure and the secret of the inner game is to remove this.


I think sub-conciously you have developed a strong inner-game. Now you need to work on harnessing that so you can think about routines while not getting messed over by nerves.

:D keep up the good work.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:34 pm 
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I would say just don't care. If you care too much how you appear or what you are saying women will pick up on it and realize you aren't being genuine. Not being genuine is the same thing to women as saying hey I am insecure and not worth your time.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 3:02 pm 
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In a word, yes.

Don't care about her looks, don't care about her shit tests, don't care about the outcome of your interaction with her. It's your party and she's very, very lucky to be in it for the moment. :D

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:50 pm 
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But if we don't care.. ..why do we spend so much time researching techniques and sarging?


Last edited by Fin on Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:52 pm 
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I never said we don't care about her.

I know it's very confusing and I'm working on it too.

But you have to know what to care about and what not to care about when talking to women, and people in general.

So don't care about those three things I mentioned in my last post and you're good to go.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:53 pm 
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Quote:
But if we don't care.. ..why do we send so much time researching techniques and sarging?
Good point!

We want to get 'better' with women. We do care about that. Getting better with women means not caring about what they think about you.

I do care what girls think about me, but my goal is to not care. Once you have that attitude and completely don't give a fuck about how you act or what you say, then you will get laid a lot more then you usually do.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:54 pm 
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Well said. That's pretty much how I feel and as to the boat that I am in, but I still do worry about what I am going to say, how I look, the impression that I am giving off, and as to whether or not I am going to be physicaly attacked by someone and you must admit that these are all very real concerns, but at the same time I just really don't care too much as to what the outcome is going to be with a girl.

I figure that if she likes me, then she likes me. If she does not like me, then she does not like me and that is all there is to it, but at the same time I am working on trying to improve that area of my life so that I am gettting better results.

I have been interacting with some women both on and offline, but unfortunately I just have not really been able to go all the way and close the deal. I guess part of it is me and part of it is her and I realize that there is not really much that I can do about her except to learn from the interaction and from all my other previous interactions and relationships so that I at least know as to what areas of myself and my techniques that I need to work on and improve upon and I guess that is probably about the best that anyone can ever do.

I am also trying to learn from as many resources as possible and trying to find out as to what areas I really need to work on and I have found that some of my most critical areas that I need to be working on seem to stem from the area's of things like sales, marketing, persuasion, objection handling, humor, rapport, and body language just to name a few, but I am also studying both the biology and psychology of women so that I can offer better customer service and so that I can not only read them better, but to also call them on their bullshit in a cocky, confident, and funny way.

I hope that makes sense and I hope that I am following the right path by doing all of that.

Quote:
The key s certainly to feel relaxed, you should be thinking about what too say, but you should "not care" about the outcome. Women are extremly intuitive, they know when you're nervous or insecure and the secret of the inner game is to remove this.


I think sub-conciously you have developed a strong inner-game. Now you need to work on harnessing that so you can think about routines while not getting messed over by nerves.

:D keep up the good work.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:28 am 
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In a word, yes.

Don't care about her looks, don't care about her shit tests, don't care about the outcome of your interaction with her. It's your party and she's very, very lucky to be in it for the moment. :D
BINGO! Roads, that is pretty much sums up the mindset I have been in with women lately. Sometimes I will catch myself thinking that I need to say something funny or I need to do something interesting and as soon as I get those thoughts I just snap out of it because it completely screws up the vibe for me.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:45 am 
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