Is it;

-Being completely in state, on fire, women wrapping their hair tight around their fingers, but you leave it on the table(no F, K, or # closing) because that "one girl" MIGHT reach out

-Turning off the charm completely because you want to "hold out"

-Committing too fast to a girl you ARE seeing and banging

-Going batshit insane with big gestures worthy of a romantic comedy

OP, you have alot of questions....why not just start a journal here and get advice specific to where you are?

Where do I start a journal?

It's fixating on one girl because the guy is living in a scarcity mentality.

Fixating on the one girl who smiled at him.
or
Fixating on the one girl whose perfume smells good.
Fixating on the one girl whose ass looks good in dem yoga pants.
Fixating on the one girl whose personality is sparkly.
Fixating on one girl because the guy thinks he cannot attract other girls.

It often involves the guy not even professing his desire to hang out to said woman.

Think of how mathematically inept oneitus is: Here you have a girl who has not consistently demonstrated her interest in the guy and yet he is fixated on her. She has given him close to zero or zero reasons to pay attention to her exclusively and yet he does. This is a COLOSSAL turnoff for the woman.

?
This makes no sense whatsoever. If the first part of this hypothetical scenario were the case, the second wouldn't.

OP, oneitis you falling in love with the idea of what you want a woman to be. You don't actually know her and in all reality she's a stranger to you. But you give in to wishful thinking and to what the perfect version of her would be.
It usually happens to guys who lack consistency with women, because it's much easier to fall into that delusion when said delusion is the closest thing they have to a real chance. And it's anything but real.

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Any time you allow a woman to make your happiness. Whether that be by her sleeping with you, complimenting you, and just being with you. Anytime you are unhappy because of what some women did or didn't do, you have oneitis.

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Whenever you stay with a woman despite the fact that it is a shitty relationship.

Whenever you idolize a woman before you know her. The fact that if she says jump, you will jump.


Whenever you can't say no to a woman.

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I think a oneitis can be defined as follows:

"A soul-crushing obsession with a single girl, which causes you to put her opinions, feelings, and desires before any of your own."

So for example you'd forgo hitting the gym if she said. You'd move to a different city if she said. You'd basically sacrifice your own happiness and success as a man, if she said.

Not good. Not good at all, lol.