I tried starting with the club but I'm scared shitless of those places. I decided to back up and walk before I run by going to the mall and just start saying hi to people in the halls or in the stores. Old, young, ugly, beautiful, whatever. Just anything to get use to cold starting a conversation with a stranger. I needed some new clothes anyway. I'm all about 2 birds with one stone.

The first place I went, there she was. I saw her about the same time she saw me. I didn't approach because she was with like 3 other people. Total AFC. I wandered around looking at the clothes like I was lost. She approached me from behind. "Can I help you find something?" Turns out she worked there. DAMN! But oh well, anybody will do and the fact she's cute will help me better talk to good looking women.

I used my brand new very first opener..."Yes, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know what color I look best in (it's red), what style I want, nothing. I need somebody to help me out." She looked a little taken a back bc most people just go "nah!" So she just started asking me what I liked. I said "I don't know, you tell me. I'm up for anything." She didn't know what to do. I had knocked her out of her usual routine. Obviously, she started going for the table right in front of us because I wasn't helping her at all. She picked out this lime green shirt that was not me at all but I figured I could use this to my advantage later and make a joke of it. I told her I just didn't know about this shirt laughing and grinning. She picked out some other stuff and led me to the dressing room.

I put on the green shirt and HOLY SHIT it was green! I came out of the room and she was still standing there. I said "Are you serious?" smiling of course. HB10: "It looks good!" Me: "Yeah right." laughing HB10: "No really it's perfect for summer with all the bright colors." Me; "it's not too green?" And so on. I went back in the room and didn't know if putting on some of the other stuff and coming out but I heard her start helping someone else outside so I didn't. In retrospect I'm glad I didn't. One trick pony. I was surprised to see her back outside because I heard her walk off with that other customer. She's still smiling, I'm still smiling. I gave the clothes back. Me: "I usually look around the mall to see what all I have to chose from before I buy anything. I'm a public accountant and my office is having a party April 15 and I that's what I really need a new outfit for..." I was hoping she would say something like that sounds fun and then I could invite her along. But total AFC, I left it in her court instead of taking control. Plus I was trying to have a conversation with her. She wasn't giving me anything to go on. I was just talking to her not WITH her so I said what time do you close? (I already knew). HB10: 6. Me: "Will you be here till then?" HB10: "Yes." Me: "OK I'm going to look around for a while and come back and find you." HB10: "OK."

3 hours later, and several approaches that resulted in a few flirty interactions and one crash and burn but I feel I'm writing too much anyway so I'll skip those sticking points.

I come back to the HB10 store, see her in my peripheral vision and ignore her as I head to the shoe dept. Just wanted to see if she would come to me. She didn't. I got some shoes and felt pretty crappy from the crash and burn I just came from. I just wanted to buy the damn shirts and leave without talking to anybody so I went straight back to the table to get them but my size wasn't there. She had put them behind the counter for my return. I had to approach her again.

Her back was to me so I walked in a big circle around to the front of her. I made the mistake of approaching from behind once before I learned the rules and scared the shit out a girl. I was so embarrassed I felt like I was in a Ben Stiller movie. Anyway, she was with her coworker that worked the perfumes at the counter. Me: "OK, I'm back to get that ugly green shirt you picked out." HB10: "It's not ugly!" smiling and laughing. Her friend just started talking to me like she knew me. Joking about HB10 making me buy an ugly green shirt. She was mean and a cut-throat if I didnt do what she said i.e. buy the shirt. I can't help but think I was talked about while I was gone, but I'm paranoid too so. Then she finished up with No I'm just kidding she's the nicest girl and gentle so on and so forth. Why? My thoughts are they were talking and maybe I had done good and this older lady saw she was embarrasing HB10 in front of me. What do you guys think?

Next she walks me over to her counter and asks where all I've been today. I told her a short list and added "But I never forgot your lime green shirt no matter how hard I tried so i figured I'd better come back and get it." I got my receipt and started walking to the door. HB10: "So what all did you get?" I'm now recognizing this IOI and I couldn't think what to do. I thought pulling out the clothes and showing them would be gay, so I changed the direction of the conversation. Me: "I got a T-shirt here and there, but the problem is I've bought more clothes than I need for this party and I need more things to do as an excuse to wear them." Opening it up for her to say something like let's do something. Leaving it up to her again (Stupid). I realized and figured I couldn't turn it around now and say something like we should do something together so I can wear them because she started talking about wearing them at home after work instead of work clothes. I felt like such a loser and just wanted to leave. Is it possible to salvage this? My first instinct is to return to the store tomorrow and talk to her friend behind the counter. Just simply walk by like I'm back to buy something I didn't yesterday and just start small talk if I see her. Most chicks want to play match maker, especailly the older ones. This is one of my usual methods (jury is still out on the success of this method). That's how I have this other chick which I'm having email/text sticking points with but that's another post. OR think of something to talk directly to HB10 again. This is your expertise guys. Talk to me. I need to know the community is real.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

Yes, please paragraph next time, but anyway:

I wouldn't try to salvage this. I think trying to salvage something on another day might seem a little creepy, and needy. Don't worry about blow outs though, it's all a part of the process.

Really?? I'm still fairly green, but I would think that it would be all right to return a few weeks from now (after the company thing--NOT tomorrow), wearing the green shirt, and be like, "Um, yeah, so pretty much everybody I know has laughed at this shirt, so I just had to come back and find out what was going through your head when you recommended it." This allows you to question her judgment and make fun of her a little. I'd inform her that I was now "a dissatisfied customer" who had lost face because of the fugly shirt she gave me, and ask if the company had a fix-it plan for these situations. If she says no, and it's been too long for a return or exchange, tell her you'll accept a date as a partial reparation. If she suggests returning/exchanging the shirt, tell her, "I've got a better idea--you have dinner with me in (some fancy restaurant) and I'll wear this damn shirt, so then you can see the weird looks I get, and I can just point and be like, 'Hey, it's on her.'" And that way if she tries an out and says she doesn't think so, you can come back with, "Wow, see, even you don't wanna be seen near the shirt. Fine, I'll wear another one."

Is that any good?

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Awesome suggestion Goldeneye. I think I'll do that very thing. Thankx!

Checking back. You done this yet?