HURRAY

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Is asking alot of questions bad?

so let's say i want to contact an HB on an online dating website like match. a couple of questions:

-isn't being on (and paying to be on) a site like that DLVing myself right off the bat? (mystery said this on his TV show)

-how can i initiate 1st contact w/HB without complimenting her & DLVing myself? that is to say, i want to set the frame of her pursuing me, but this is tough when i'm the one contacting her. generic opinion openers just seem weird to me in this context. any sure-fire methods you can recommend?

Yes you don't want to come off as playing 20 questions or something. Instead try to make statements that will lead to discussion. "College was some crazy times for me...." It's naturally going to lead to a discussion about it. Also, when you do ask questions try to make them very open-ended, meaning they require more of a response. A good example of this would be, "What was it like growing up for you?" She could tell you anything from elementary school, her parents, her neighborhood, high school, friends, etc. There is a lot of possible responses.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for the questions! To answer you first question it's not a DLV because the HB is on the site too. To me it seems like you are even. It's no different than the two of you standing in the same venue. In this case Match.com is your venue. Besides, online dating doesn't have the stigma on it like it use to have.

Great question man, those are two things you certainly don't want to do when starting a conversation. Nothing is "sure-fire" when you are dealing with people. You are going to be intiating the chat just like you would if you were in person, so it's not any tougher than if you approached a set in your local venue. I typically am more direct with my openers. However, to set the frame you are referring to I would use something like..."I was browsing through the site and saw your picture. I just couldn't help but wonder what else you have going on for you besides your looks. Please, email me if you aren't just another pretty face."

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Gotcha, I don't ask questions like "What's your favorite color or anything." I opened her with a situation that my friend got into and what she thought about it. She just answers and I reply back with a question. It's been going like that for awhile but recently she just replies back with a like a few words reply when she used to reply with like a paragraph or so. Is this a sign of disinterest? She's called me names in some of the replies such as "silly" and "loserbutt" every now and then. IOI's maybe? So, I'm thinking since she went to Six Flags the other day, what would be a good question to ask her that would get her to respond back? Would a "what did you do there" work? Thanks for the reply.

Since you mentioned her answers are becoming shorter. How long have you been talking through email? It is probably time to escalate to talking on IM or the Phone. She might be getting bored as it's easy to do via email.

Yeah, nicknames or petnames can be an IOI.

Six Flags give you a lot of stuff to ask her but we want to ask her an open ended question to keep her talking. I'd keep it simple, "Tell me about Six Flags?" Then after this response you should invite her to join you on messenger so that you two can talk in real time. You can convey more of your personality that way.

You're doing well man, keep it up!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Dear J,

1) Any tips on how to weed out the psychos and lunatics online?

2) Why are there hot women looking online for guys, I thought they were used to being chased and not the other way around.

3) Does bros over hoes really apply to online game?

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

How would I obtain her Screen Name? Would I ask "How about you give me your screen name so we talk through AIM,Yahoo,MSN,etc.?

Awesome Questions Bro!

1) How to weed out the psychos. My psycho filter is pretty well adept now after dealing with several. I think a big thing here is to watch for any signs of her becoming overly attached. Most women who fall in this category will show signs early on. For example she emails or texts you every day, multiple times a day, even if you don't respond. She treats you like you're married to her or something. Otherwise, I look for anything that could be a problem. If a woman is constantly bringing a bad past relationship she might not have moved past it, or some women fall into the pattern of looking for other bad guys.

2) I have found that a lot of attractive women are online, and when I talk to them their reasoning is usually simple, "They are looking for the one." Others, are tired of clubs/bars and "the game" that we all play and trying to find a way to shortcut the process into a relationship. However, ironic the still play the game when we talk. Some women are just tired of being hit on in the preverbial sense by the jo-nobody's and they feel they can pre-screen men better through something like online dating sites.

3)Bros over Hos online? I really haven't had an instance where me and anyone else have crossed paths online gaming a girl. I think it's a good rule of thumb to always follow though. I don't ever take a girls side over my wings and things like that in the field. To me online is perfectly fair game though.

I hope this helps answer your questions, please post again if I misinterpreted the bros before hos question.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I would respond back to her email and then simply ask her to contact me. I don't know about you, but I get tired of waiting for replies. Let's have a real conversation, I have messenger you should IM me...then I would list my messenger contacts.

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Hey jsmooth. I've decided to learn about online dating some more and experiment. I know Style came up with a 7-step formula for achieving the perfect profile. What are these steps exactly? What other steps (if any) would you include?

Thanks

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Only great men seize the moment

Thanks for the post Avesta. Honestly, I have not seen Style's 7 step formula for achieving the perfect profile. So I can't respond to your question accurately with that information. However, I can tell you what I feel are the most important areas without writing a book.

+Pictures; it's the first thing she's going to look at. Make sure they show you doing things and not just standing around in an empty apartment. Show preselection by having women in them if possible. Maybe pictures of you doing sports, or hobbies. When in doubt hire a professional photographer or a friend who's good. This can make a big difference. You need headshots and full frame shots.

+Great Headline. You need something that conveys your personality and grabs interest without going over a sentence. Also, you don't want to say something like every AFC on the site does.

+Short and Sweet Essay. You're going to want to write and essay that conveys desirable traits about you. Hit those attraction switches and try not to write a book. This is where you really convey your personality. Make sure to have a good positive tone to it, and avoid any complaining.

+ Describe what you want , but do not create a checklist. Fix on 3-4 desired qualities that you want and be honest.

+Try to leave religion and political views out of this stuff, unless its that important to you.

+Be Confident in your writing and your general demeanor when you write it.

Hope these help!

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Thanks I appreciate the reply man. She replied back with, in her exact words, "It was fun, we went to the one in Atlanta. We drove there." I'm not sure what to make of this, I thought she would respond back with something more detailed. I'm planning to reply back with what you said above with the messenger thing. Anything else I should add to the reply?

No, just keep it simple.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...