Hello, so here is my story. Sex included.

I am quite noobish when it comes to those things, so I would
appreciate your advice, because I want to understand the situation.
Perhaps it is something that I can learn from - see what I did right
and what I did wrong.

OK, here is the thing.

There was a girl. We had ourselves on Facebook for some time. We were
bumping at each other on various parties, but I was never really
noticing her. Like, literally, she was the first to say hello quite
often, since I was not spotting her in the crowd. She used to be in
quite a long relationship, then after splitting with the guy she was
for a short time with some other guy, then went to be back with the
previous guy again and then split with him once more. For whatever
reasons many people were hitting on her but I was never, since she
seemed like not my type. She was really hot but not much of my type
and I did not feel any connection with her, which is important factor
to me.

Then at one of the parties she initiated the conversation and we
literally spent all the evening talking, took some selfies etc. I have
almost immediatelly forgotten about this since I was interested in
someone else at that moment, but couple of days later she texted me on
Facebook and we started having a small talk. I have to admit, that she
suddenly started to seem interesting both based on the conversations
we had and because of the fact that she seemed to be taking initiative
here.

I know a lot of people and I meet a lot of girls, I am not a player
but because of having multiple girls around me all the time, I have a
pretty laid back attitude and do not like wasting time, if I hit
someone and it is not working out I simply move further. I am not a
chaser but also not accustomed to people chasing me, so that was quite
cool, I was impressed that she actually put effort into this.

She was strongly suggesting that it would be cool to go out somewhere
together, so I have decided to give it a go, I have put the girl I was
initially interested in on the backburner and decided to check this
situation out. The evening was really interesting, I figured out this
person might be a hidden gem after all and had more to offer than her
beauty. As I mentioned before, I have access to lots of women on daily
basis, so there was no pressure, I figured out that if it ends as a
one night stand this is cool, if it starts to get serious thats fine
too and if nothing comes out of this or we just become friends than it
is also good. The evening ended early since I was quite tired, she was
like "we should meet again, but on an evening on which you have more
time".
And indeed couple of days later we did. I was about to get home from a
bar and I have texted her. She was at some other bar too with her
female friend and she accidentally met her ex and she was really angry
with the all evening. I texted some stuff about my place and she was
like "I am staying at your place tonight". So she did, we had some
talk, some flirting and I figured out that I would give it ago, but
whenever I was attempting something she seemed uncomfortable with it.
It was quite weird to me, becaue she seemed interested and actually
she was the one that created the whole situation. I am not a chaser,
but when I have already made up my mind to do something with someone
and we are in situation like that (no matter who initiated it) it
usually goes effortlessly and she was like flirting, allowing light
touching and some escalaation, but on the other hand from time to time
she was giving what seemed to be genuine "no" signals. I was trying to
slowly warm her up and at some point I kissed her. She was not
expecting this, her initial reaction was not to follow this but then
after some more time spent cuddling and me making sure that she is OK
with this and that it is not happening against her will, we just did
it. And it was worth it! Seriously, the sex was amazing, way better
than expected. And after sex we talked even more, even some private
stuff, and then there was even more sex. Literally, I was not
expecting that it will be that good. We had it multiple times and for
a really long time but almost all the time she was avoid kissing,
while being open to many other things, both letting me take initiavie
and taking it by herself. I do not recall myself having bad breath or
anything like that, so perhaps this is some clue to what is happening
here (I do not know, maybe some girls find kissing more personal that
regular sex?). Also, perhaps I should note that she was way younger
than me and despite having nice connection I do not think anyone here
was thinking about the situation seriously, with a long term
perspective. This might be important to the rest of the story. Also, I
was her first guy since like many weeks/months.

Anyway, the next day I made sure we are good, said goodbye to each
other and we went our ways. Some time later we had some small talk on
Facebook and she seemed to have regrets. I wanted to make sure, that
everything is fine, so was in for a follow up meeting. And really, I
did not care if it is a regular meeting on another one night stand. At
this point I was already thinking about the other girl that was on the
backburner, but the one that I had just spent the night with impressed
me both intellectually and sexually, so I wanted to remain on good
terms with her and be open to anything. I have suggested a meeting,
she was very open to this, but then there were some sync issues
(noones fault) and we need to reschedule and then we had to reschedule
couple of more times (this time definitely her fault). OK, I am not
accustomed to this bullshit, I usually either meet someone or do not
and if someone reschedules or forgets we were about to figure out
details of a meeting I simply move to the next person. But I did not
do anything like that here, since I really started to value her as a
person and thought we had quite a nice connection that evening,
talking honestly about everything, so there was no room for games etc.
Perhaps this is where I made my biggest mistake. Pushing for it
multiple times and then stating that I do not have time for
rescheduling all the time might look needy or might have scared her
into thinking that I am treating this too seriously.

But the thing is I was not. I was already scheduling an evening with
someone else. It did not end with sex, but I have decided to use this
as a way to figure out what the initial girl is thinking. So I did not
make any secret of that second girl and was trying to figure out how
the first one feels about me being with someone else. Perhaps that
could be something that would refuel her interest in me (undersating I
am not desperate after all and we can continue to have sex without it
getting to serious) or the opposite (she will get angry that I am
interested in other girls). Anyway, since noone explicitly stated that
there will be another night together (although it was implied) and we
definitely have not forbidden each other to meet other people, I
thought that should not be an issue. And I do not know, maybe this was
another mistake on my behalf or maybe it was good. Couple of days
later we started to chat and flirt once again. I am not a talkative
person on social media, so it was not much but it was rather intense
and some more sexual action was strongly implied. Then I was busy for
couple of days. Both with some regular stuff and with matters
regarding some other girls. And then we have spontaneusly met for a
brief moment (we figured out we are at the same area at the same
time). She strongly implied that it will be really cool to meet for a
whole evening very soon, she even suggested the next day, but only if
some other plans do not happen. Since I would not like to be someone's
second option and backup plan, I immediatelly suggested that nope, the
next might be OK, but there is something else I would rather to then
(and indeed I had another option there too), so I suggested that
perhaps next week will be better. She seemed a bit surprised but said
OK. Next week is all good except of one day.

I was curious about that day, which happend to be exactly one week
later. And then, during that particular conversation, I have figured
out that she is checking out (dating?) a guy who is having night
shifts at that time. Perhaps this is another mistake I have made. I
should have kept this to myself and not confront her about it and just
continue our flirting and enjoy they ride wherever it was heading. But
I was genuinelly pissed, because I no longer considered her just
another one night stand girl like many I had before, but a one night
stand girl that I could become friends with, that I could continue to
fuck as friends with benefits or perhaps even as someone whom I would
be willing to try something more serious. In other words, I was open
to literally anything - as long as there are no games and there is
mutual respect and we can continue to freely talk about anything. It
might sound naive, but I have been in similar arrangements before.
Anyway, some other guy was not an issue to me, because why would he, I
was about to meet other girls. I was just pissed that she was making
such a big deal of it that she wanted to keep it a secret and was
caught on it red handed. (Well, the guy is in worse situation since
while being interested in him for at least couple of weeks, she was
flirting with me all the time).
I tried to play it cool, but perhaps I failed. I even asked her if it
means that there won't be any other night after all (which was stupid
thing to say, because it might have looked like she had to chose
between me and him, while I would be happy to continue fucking her and
literally do not care about other guys as long as she does not
interfere with me chasing other girls).

We ended the conversation with her looking forward to our next meeting
soon and me playfully warning her, that if indeed we meet next time I
am planning to fuck her really hard, which was quite random but at
least truthful. She seemed a bit intimidated and impressed by that at
the same time, but since then she did not get back to me and I do not
feel like I should be the one suggesting the meeting (correct me if I
am wrong). Did some playful small talk immediately after that
conversation but it was rather ignored and she went MIA (she used to
flood my Facebook with likes but then she stopped although couple days
later she liked one particular thing again). Anyway, I think I have
fucked up that situation and have several questions. I have already
moved to one of the other girls, but if there is possibility of fixing
this now or in the future, I am open to this, and even if it is
impossible, I would be happy to learn from my mistakes.

So my questions are.

1. What I did good? What I did bad?
2. What do you think exactly happened here? I really am unable to
guess her perspective, perhaps someone more knowledgeable than me is
here and would attempt to figure this out. Why was she giving the
mixed signals? Why did she seem interested, and then not, and then
again yes? Did she want something serious, something not serious or
perhaps she didn't know what he wanted? What's the deal with that
other guy? What was happening in her mind in various stages of this
whole story?
3. If I would like to fix this somehow (as to have sex with her), is
that possible or would it be totally impossible for even the most
experienced experts here? I am open to any ideas.

Thanks for reading and I am looking forward for your replies!

I will answer your questions by separating what you talked about in your report that you did, piece-by-piece..highlighting in Bold either what you did right or wrong, and giving you feedback on those things. So here we go! Lol

Everything that i highlighted above in Bold, is why you got laid by this girl, when the other guys at those parties couldn't. With or without you being aware of it..it was a 2-prong process.


1) Because you were the only guy at those parties consistently not noticing her (you didn't give her any validation whatsoever), that's what made her wanting to actively seek your validation..because you wasn't giving it to her like all the other guys were. So she was probably thinking in her head "Why isn't this guy noticing me or giving me the attention that all the other guys are giving me? I'm a hot girl!!!..No guy should be able to resist me..I'm not used to this!..This guy is different, he must be special. Mmmm..i want him!" As intense as that sounded..i can assure you that is what was going through her head, and you not giving her any validation is what really got her attracted to you.


2) When she did approach you..you was able to maintain this frame by being abundant already, with all the women that you said you already have in your life. So that took care of the inner-game part of it. Outer-game wise..you demonstrated your sexual intent with her by flirting and your light kino escalation on her. You held back from chasing her (with your non-neediness) by demonstrating to her that you was chill, laid back, you wasn't in a hurry to get it on, and you had normal chit chat/rapport with her (showed her that you are normal and not weird). This is what helped you to not only maintain her attraction, but it also built some trust and comfort in her for you.


Those were the reasons why you got laid by this hot chick.


Everything that i highlighted above in Bold is why she lost attraction for you..and why she flaked on your suggestions for more dates..and why she stopped messaging you and liking your posts on facebook.


1) You didn't play it cool (which playing it cool, is what got you laid by this same girl originally). Before you got laid by her..you were cool with it ending in a one-night-stand, a relationship, or just a friendship. But after you got laid..you became needy, you got reactive to what she had going on in her personal life, and you slightly got desperate to get another crack at her. You demonstrated to her the complete 180 degree turnaround in behavior that got you laid in the first place. You brought over that same "needy and desperate vibe" to the girl that you went on a date with..which is probably why that date didn't end up in sex.


2) You cannot logically convince a woman why she should get re-attracted to you, when she already lost attraction for you. That's what you tried to do by being honest and forth-coming with both girls about your involvement with the other girl. In actuality, you were just being reactive to you losing the frame with the 2nd girl.


3) Which brings me to number three. You all but lost the 2nd girl (the one that you didn't notice at all those parties, until she approached you). Your best bet to possibly get her back..is to do the opposite of what you did to lose her, and do the very thing that got you laid by her - Don't even acknowledge her whatsoever. Don't text her..Don't call her..Don't facebook message her..Don't like any of her social media posts..Don't send up any smoke signals to her from your chimney Lol..Don't pay her any random visits to her house or randomly try to bump into her at any of the places that she frequents..Nothing!!!! Any communication that you have with her from now on..let her initiate all of them.


4) So for the next girl or girls..do the same things that you did that got you laid by that 2nd girl (that i highlighted for you in Bold). And for you to keep them around..do not do the needy, reactive, and desperate things, that you did that lost you that 2nd girl (that i also highlighted for you in Bold).


-G

_________________
LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!

Wow, thank you! I am genuinelly impressed by your reply and can not express how grateful I am for it! Need to chew through this!

There is just one more thing I am wondering about. Situation developed
a bit - the date when she was expecting me to invite her somewhere is
already due. Instead of texting her, I simply was doing other stuff
and she must have been aware of it, since it was on my social media.
It was insinuated that I was out with someone else (perhaps a girl,
but that was not stated clearly). This social media activity got a lot
of recognition from other people (likes, comments). And immediately
after that post went viral among my friends, she... gave her first
like since our conversation. She liked something not personal, I mean
nothing related to me (like my photo, she used to like those too), but
rather the fact that I checked in on an event related to one of our
common interests. Then couple of hours later, she liked two other
things, also nothing personal, but the fact that I signed up for two
other events. Not sure how to interpret this. Is she trying to remind
me about herself and provoke me to do something? Or is it suggestion
that she would like to join me at those? Or perhaps she is trying to
show that she would like to stay in touch with me, but let's keep it
more distant than before? Should I react or stay cool? The thing is,
that I do not want to come as needy again by talking to her and
suggesting things, but on the other hand I would not like to send the
"you do not want to have sex with me, so I am moving away from you in
a childish manner" vibe.

So, the question is why is she doing this and how to react?

Additional question 1: should I be showing that I am enjoying company
of other girl(s) right now or might that be something that will put
her off? Lucky thing is that I can quite precisely regulate this, I
mean I can hide all the clues that I am even meeting someone else, or
I can show that I am flirting with someone else, or I can show that I
went all the way with someone else (or even multiple people).
Additional question 2: I might be wrong but I think things with that
other guy did not go that far. Maybe they had sex but they are not
officially dating or maybe they even did not have sex and she is just
checking him out and trying to make things work.

,

The whole point of me saying "Do not acknowledge her at all whatsoever!!!!" was actually meant for you move on from her completely. That includes moving on from her physically, mentally, psychologically, and emotionally. That includes not obsessing over her, which you still clearly are. Not "i kinda moved on from her, but i still think about her all the time. And i'm still doing reactive things on social media, to make her jealous and to get her to notice me again." What part of "Do not acknowledge her at all whatsoever!!!!" don't you understand? I know that i'm probably coming across as a fucking dick right now, but i can tell you that i tried similar tactics as you are trying right now (both before and during my learning of pickup)..and it never works out in my favor. You already lost the frame with that girl, and you've all but become the opposite Alpha Guy behavior-wise, who she got attracted to in the first place. You AFC'd and Choded out. Anything that you do now to try to get her attention from this point on..will only look needy, desperate, and reactive to her. This is a hot girl that we're talking about here.


I'm going to ask you a rhetorical question, and your own answer to my rhetorical question will give you all the answers that you need.


Remember how you acted and behaved before (remember that i highlighted those characteristics for you in Bold) that got her attracted to you, and got you laid by her?...Are you acting and behaving in those same ways now?


-G

_________________
LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!

I'll keep this short. Anyone wanting this forum to be re-instated plead your case below.

Not sure if this will fall on deaf ears but worth a shot.