Hey guys, would appreciate any thoughts on this. No idea where I went wrong so I’ll be a tad detailed so you can better gage what happened.

I match on Tinder with this girl and we go for some drinks to a bar close to both our homes and I try to sexualize things from the start. When we meet, I look her up and down and rate her real-life hotness on a scale from 1 to 10. We have some drinks and there’s normal conversation with spikes of joking and fun; I award her and subtract points whenever she says something I like or dislike. Shit like that. I do some light kino like hand or shoulder touching to emphasize a point, etc.

She brings up that I need a new Tinder opener because, it turns out, I used the same opener on her cousin who also uses the app. That’s true, I did open a girl that said I was gaming her cousin as well, but didn’t tell me who her cousin was. Now I find out it’s this girl in the middle of the date. But I figure if she’s sitting here with me, it wasn’t a big deal for her. So I say I don’t need to change my opener because it’s awesome, I joke about it a bit, and change de subject.

Halfway through the date I go for the kiss and she’s into it. Very very into it. Usually I’m the one who breaks it up, to avoid being the horndog that keeps on kissing until the girl says stop. But when I try to break it up with her, I fail the first two times because she’s super into it and doesn’t let go. So I kiss her for a little longer and then break it up.

We keep chatting some more and there’s a few more short makeout sessions (can’t remember if two or three). I do notice a very slight drop in temperature in the other kisses. She’s totally into it, but it’s not as hard to break it up as the first one. At certain point she brings up her ex boyfriend who dumped her when she was least expecting it and totally destroyed her emotionally. I re-frame things, tell her it’s positive she’s out dating again and I change the subject.

She also asks me about my “love life”, a very important question for her, since she also asked this through text. I answer with my default lie which is that a few months ago I broke up a relationship that lasted a year. The truth is I’ve never had a serious relationship in my adult life, but I never tell the truth when asked (mistake?)

The date lasts about an hour and twenty minutes or so and I say “Let’s go”. While we wait for the check I tell her I’ve got a deck of tarot cards at home and that I will read her future to see if she’s as cool as she says she is. She says nope, she’s going to her home to sleep. I tell her not to be a grandmother, that it’s still early, and I change the subject.

We exit the bar. Her home is to the right and mine to the left; I put an arm around her shoulder and lead her left. Again she’s offering resistance saying she needs to get up early. I tell her about other cool BS I’ve got at home that she needs to see/do (I can’t recall exactly). She says she’ll walk with me only one more block. When we reach the end of the block she stops walking. I go for the pull once again and she declines so I call it a night and we say goodbye.

Next day I text her a joke and she immediately replies and seems responsive. After two joke texts or so she sends me out of the blue: “Look, I don’t want to be the party pooper, but I gotta be honest. There won’t be a second date. You were great, but I didn’t feel it that way”.

Not the first time sometime like this happens. I’m sure there must be a blindspot I’m not aware of. You guys see any red flags?

What kills me is, just a few days before this date, I went on another first date with another girl and fuck closed her without problem. On both dates I did the exact same shit. Nowadays it’s so polarizing, I rarely fuck a girl on the second or third date; it’s usually the first or they don’t want to see me again. And my batting average with Tinder sucks balls. Seems to be 50/50. I know you can’t fuck them all, but seems very low, considering these girls were attracted enough in the first place to meet me in person.

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for any advice you may have.

You tried too hard and she wasn't attracted to you. Simple as that. Move onto the next one

Thanks, already moved on. By "tried too hard" you mean I was too insistent in going for the pull?

Yes, sometimes chilling out and being more relaxed helps and yields better results. But, if she just wasn't attracted to you, then apart from go the gym and develop yourself over time, that is not something you can change overnight.

Some of the stuff like the games etc doesnt wash with more experienced women, they see right though it as a fad. It's fun for a while, but its not really the real you. Just be real and fun, and not the bar joker or the magician.

Got it, thanks.