How do you make it clear that you don't NEED her? Is it like this?

Her: Hey Curtis.
You: Hi. It's Netflix and beer night at my place tonight. Swing by.
Her: I can't!
You: I don't need you.

I know that it's absurd to think that's what you would say but there's not a lot of direction in how you make it clear.

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That reads as butthurt, IMHO. Especially considering all the communication they've had.


A girl who is playing games like this one is expecting the OP to freak out. It's a form of validation for her, to manipulate a desired response.

So when you text back, "cool, no worries" and then don't contact her, it's going to frustrate her. She's looking for an emotional response. and when she doesn't get one like all the other guys give her, it's going to make her head spin. And if a woman is thinking about you and frustrated by you, she's more attracted to you.

"Cool, no worries" is a completely indifferent response. It's not butthurt like total silence, and it's not "why not? We really should go out soon, you know?".

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This is the very definition of playing games. The only frustration that comes by continuing playing games is the competitive need to win the game. The problem is that you do not know what her definition of winning is. If you are using indifference as your tool for frustrating her, then it's more likely that her goal is to get you to stop being indifferent. This is what leads to more games. She's trying to manipulate your response, so in turn you try to manipulate hers, which in turn tries to get her to manipulate yours...and this is the cycle that you are endorsing by offering this advice.

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Chick from online is dodging meeting up and wants to keeping talking while telling you she wants a relationship with you.... Personally i just wont talk to her. Not big on trying to frustrate her or "game" her at that point...you're probably just "frustrating" some fat guy in China. For online shit, I'm not fucking around with games...if something is "off" move on. Too many catfishes out there to fuck around with a virtual stranger.

Just plain don’t reply to her message, it shows that you’re not afraid to walk away. If a girl won’t give me the time of day I cba to message back, it’s not a text which explicitly requires a reply either.

I'm in agreement with this type of thinking. Contrary to other statements, it isn't butt hurt to not respond especially if you're not butt hurt over it.

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I normally block for repeated messages when I haven't replied and she hasn't got the hint, but that's just me.

What Arch means is acting indifferent. "Ok cool, no worries" does work. Had a girl tell me the other day that she doesn't want to commit to anything yet (I never mentioned it) and was stressing over nothing. My indifferent and no pressure response put her at ease and she was all over me last night like nothing was said a few days previously. Hell she even knows I will see other girls and it's cool with her.

All about being chill and fun. If they want to play games and waste my time then there are plenty of other mugs who will put up with poor behaviour.

You're comparing apples to oranges. One girl is interested and letting you know where she stands. There is no games being played in that instance...it's just what she's feeling at the moment. "OK cool, no worries" isn't a response to her rejecting you. It's just you showing that you guys are on the same page.

Then you have the other that is a response to a rejection. 1) If she isn't interested, you not being worried about going out with her isn't going to moisten her panties, 2) If she's on the fence, it isn't going to push her to your side if you verbally communicate that you could either take her or leave her. 3) My real point wasn't about the "no worries" part...it was more about the exclamation point of following it up with lies that makes things more transparent...someone at the door or calling you. If you truly aren't worried, then leave it at that. Don't do extra stuff that points out that you are actually bothered over it.

If you're going out of your way to let a girl know that you don't care about her rejecting you, it's an obvious sign that you do care. It's passive aggressive ego protection.

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Sometimes you have to play games to get the game players.

And it's even more satisfying when she finally gets on knees for you.

Just don't focus on only this one girl, and it's okay.

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Not at all. The girls that play games, IME, are the girls that are the easiest to get when you take their tricks away from them. This is especially for the hottest ones. I can understand this but my psychology degree would say that this is more ego and compensating for a need to feel power over a woman. Lol. The "she finally gets on (her) knees for you" pretty much puts an emphasis in the need for submission.

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It depends on how you communicate that. I've had fence-sitters come to my side after the "cool, no worries" text and then no contact.

It says a lot about you, and reveals not only slight indifference, but a patient and centered man. Most guys won't respond this way. They'll either give her the silent SPAM (which is a subliminal form of pouting) or they'll blow up her phone, begging her to see them or getting angry.

BTW, my comments about "someone calling" or "coming over" when she won't meet up with you were ways to get out of the conversation politely, to train her she'll either meet up with you, or she'll lose the gift of your attention.

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I do to. There are needy, uncentered girls, just like there are guys who act that way. Any kind of stalker or obsessive behavior gets blocked.
Yep. It's a great tool in the tool box.

Nice! Most guys wouldn't have responded this way. They'd offer a point-by-point analysis of her words, and try to "fix" things logically. When all they need to do is be chill and fun, and the woman will sort things out in her head, herself.
Yes! Chill and fun will get you what you want.

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Again, the "cool, no worries" isn't the problem. It's the lie that you add to it that makes you look bad. To tell a girl, that you have no worries about it is one thing. To add an excuse on why you can't talk to her now right after you say it's not a problem is suspicious and it takes away any hint of indifference. It's the equivalence of saying, "I'm fine with you not wanting to go out with me but now I don't even want to speak to you."You've already bowed out of the conversation politely by saying "no worries." You could even add something more truthful by telling her you'll talk to her later if you want the conversation to end. Instead, you give her a response that will make you sound more bitter than indifferent and it's that type of inconsistencies that get women to give you shit tests. She'll end up testing your indifference when the opportunities present themselves and who really wants to deal with that shit?

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No, it doesn't. That's a common way to get off the phone with people in your social life or in business. It can be anything..." I have to get back to work," or "gotta go, someone is calling", etc.
It's how you manage your time, and how people access your time. If you haven't told a lie in this way, you aren't talking to people regularly, lol.

You make yourself look foolish, Jack, when you try and argue every tiny point with me.




But often they'll keep texting you, and wanting your attention. thus the "gotta go".

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I don't like lying about shit that's unnecessary. If I want to get off the phone, I'll tell them I'll talk to them later. Or I'll tell them I'll get back to them.

It's not that I'm arguing every point. I'm telling you and other guys that there is no need to be dishonest and play games if you can end up getting the same result. It also can be the difference when it comes to having girls that are around short term and girls that are around long term.

I didn't throw out any insults, you just can't handle someone that has a difference of experience than you. Even worse, someone who has had a different experience than you that doesn't require you needing to play games or being deceitful. I was trying to get to common ground without all the negativity but you want to insult your way out of it because I'm saying it's okay to be honest and not play games.

Remember, the OP asked how to respond to text and your examples sound crazy because of that. Seriously, who texts that they have to go because someone is calling? The whole thing is unrealistic and you should be ashamed of yourself for making that shit up as you go.That's why I added the part about talking to them later. It's not dishonest and it doesn't sound butt hurt because they rejected your offer for a date. At least, "gotta go" is honest.

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