It's a first date and it's going well. You met off tinder, she's dressed kind of slutty, and she's laughing at your jokes and engaging you in questions. But she's sitting across the table from you at a bar, so you haven't really done any kino. You both finish your first round of drinks, at which point you decide to go for it. "Let's get out of here", you say. She says, a little surprised "Where?". "Back to my place", you say. She just flat out says "No." You stay cool and say "alright, let's get another round here then."

She orders water, starts texting people on her phone, and 15 minutes later she says she's gonna leave. As we left the bar she basically power walked away from me.Is there any recovery from this kind of situation? I'm thinking almost no chance here. I won't text her for a couple days, at which point I'll say something cocky funny or an inside joke. If she bites, it's on, if not, next fish in the sea.

My rule of thumb for first dates is 45 minutes and at least one round of drinks - after 45 minutes give or take if the date is going well I will often ask a girl back to my apartment. Is that 45 min/1 round of drinks rule of thumb reasonable?

Historically, when I've failed to get a chick back to my apartment at the first round, she will usually come back to my apartment after the second round. It seems like I offended this one though. Is asking a chick back to your place a potential date ending/offensive question? I think the answer is probably not - I think she's just sensitive or something.

Hypothetically, with most women, if I decided I particularly wanted to date them, would I be better off not asking them back to my apartment and just going for a kiss close? Usually women like when you make moves.

I'm not for the whole "lets get out of here" thing. Sure, if thats the vibe go for it. But if the chick is asking "where" then its not the right way. There's a side of seduction that's "bold"..."let's get out of here"...... and you're ripping clothes off in your hallway. Then there's a side that's more reserved, teasing, on and off. In cases where the vibe isnt there to be bold, I'd do the more reserved stuff.

What neo said and I'll add that these rules for how many rounds of drinks and how many minutes spent is too rigid. Dates aren't linear and don't follow a timeline. If you want her to want to go back to your place it's not about the minutes or how much she drinks.. it's about you and how you are escalating and how receptive you are to it.

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Always sit right next to her so the two of you can kino.

Give her a genuine REASON to go back to your place, other than to sit on your dick.

I agree that her asking "Where?" was the give away that I should have taken a more reserved right.
Yeah, I try not to be too rigid with it, but sometimes I get caught up in trying to put in as little money and time into the actual dating part of dating which sometimes causes me to get in my own way.

Can you tell me how you always sit right next to her? For example, last night I was at a bar sitting at a table for two. I think it might have felt weird if I had sat next to her, because there wouldn't have been any table space for me on the side she was sitting on if two people were over there.

Don't go on dates where you are sat down opposite eachother if a SDL is the goal. Do your research on location, a bar with sofas etc. Most of my success comes from dates which doesn't require sitting down for an "interview". The experienced guys can, but the odds are stacked against you.

For example for a first date I did ten pin bowling with a pizza before hand to warm up. At the bowling with a positive vibe, she was giving me kino as well as me giving her kino. We had fun and we still see eachother. Doesn't have to be bowling, but something similar that doesn't involve a time limit date. If a chick insists on a quick coffee date or a drink, then I normally turn it down.

You are learning so I won't give you shit. All of the advice here is solid. Next time when she says where, you can say next to me and pat the place next to you. IF you somehow manage to end up with a table between you two again. The girl needs to get worked up before any kind of lets get out of here. There has to be tension, there has to be some kind of hint that you guys like each other. This involves kino which was missing here.

I have had SDL the past few dates and I have become accustomed to laying the girl the first night or the second. The girl won't be offended, but she can't go 0 to a 100% if she isn't feeling you.

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pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

This right here.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

What sort of reason do you suggest? Could it just be something banal like to watch Netflix?

Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday! In the morning enjoy your made with lust pancakes.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Stop inviting girls to dinner, and sitting at tables. This is why "a drink at Bar x" works best. And sit at the bar, side by side. The less steps in seduction, the better.

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It may come up at the venue that all they have is tables. But you can simply tell a chick to sit on your side. Use the truth.. "I don't want this to feel like an interview"... Or just tell her to sit on your side with you. Doesn't matter if there's not a lot of table space... You're not playing monopoly and even a small table can fit 2 drinks.

45 minutes tops before I invite her back to my place.



What about direct eye contact and sexual innuendo? Yes, it's better to sit side by side, but kino is not required before taking a woman home.


Nope. As soon as she says "no," you smile, and look at your watch. Then you say, "it was amazing meeting you, I had a blast, but I have to work on a project."

Then you leave, cordially and with a grin.

Women are welcome to join you, or they'll miss the party. It's that simple.

I've done this numerous times and had them text me that night, asking to come over.

A dominant, confidant male is congruent with his desires. He goes for what he wants, respectfully (IE, not like the pigs in the news lately).
when you leave first, you display higher value. you hung out too long.

Don't text her for a week. When you do text her, invite her over for Netflix.

Yes, it's ideal. too many guys drink like fish and make asses out of themselves, or drag things on all night. Most women have jobs, and as the night wears on they get tired. Do you want all her good energy spent at the bars, or at your place?

She'll live, lol.

You did well, man. Remember, it's ALWAYS better to be too dominant, than too passive.


It doesn't matter. Great sex/chemistry organically leads to dating. Employ the same seduction techniques and never classify a new woman as "relationship material". that is EARNED, organically, over time. If not, you'll find your ass dumped unless she's obese.

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I haven't done this at a table because I avoid that, but in a booth I'll pull out my phone to show her something and tell her to come around. Usually I use either my pets or a recent trip.

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These hos ain't loyal