You put too much importance on indifference and besides that, your strawman example is a poorly worded example. Here's how it's better worded:

Guy: Let's go out for drinks tomorrow at Bar X at 9:00.
as opposed to
Guy2: Hey, XXX. I'm celebrating good news at bar X at 9:00 and you're welcome to join.

The first guy is showing that he wants to meet up with her and since it is about him and her then she can give an alternative date if she does want to go out with him. The second guy is doing two things wrong. (1)He's making this meet up about something other than the two of them. (2)He's trying to soften the blow of rejection and attempting to disguise it as indifference.

Indifference is overrated and silly for the most part. It's uncertainty that you should be going for. She should be uncertain of how into her you are. She should be uncertain about your other options. She should be uncertain if she meets all of your standards. Indifference is an attraction killer especially since women will often mirror your enthusiasm. If she is feeling indifference from you, she has less reason to want to go out with you. She has less reason to offer an alternative date even if she was interested in a date initially.

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Arch, you're taking it somewhere else....

It's a very simple point and I feel like you're disagreeing to something else entirely.

The OP's question is if a chick cant and doesnt give an alternative should you always drop it. My point is concerned around how the way you invite her affects how she can reply and whether she can even offer an alternative. If you are casually inviting a chick to join you in celebrating and its clear you're doing it without her anyway, she can't offer an alternative if she genuinely cant make it because what you're doing doesnt involve her. What can she say? I'm out of town that night, can you celebrate again at the bar on Friday too? No. Now, I'm not even arguing stop doing casual invites, but if you're inviting her to join things and she cant, dont expect counter offers and the lack of a counter offer doesnt mean fuck off.

Its a communication thing...for eg...if I texted a friend "hey Im moving my stuff on Sunday, can you help us?" and he says "sorry, I'm out of town Sunday"...I dont know if he just doesnt want to help me, or if he is genuinely out of town. He cant offer an alternative, because the move is happening Sunday. If however, I text my friend "Hey, I need help moving, does Sunday work for you?"..if he says Sunday i'm out of town, and doesnt give a counter offer, I can more easily say he just doesnt want to help. Thats the point. If you give a tag along or join me while I'm already doing something, fine...but you can't expect a counter offer. I wasnt saying its a weak invite to be casual in the sense that it's "bitchlike"...its weak in the sense of if you are looking at a counter offer or lack thereof, a "strong" invite ie a clearer, less casual one gives her something she can at least counter.

Its not complicated....if you're asking about COUNTER OFFERS as the OP was, make sure your invite is something she can realistically offer an alternative for if she genuinely cant make the specific time. Everything has its pros and cons, and if you're looking for a lack of ambiguity, its better to be clearer than casual.

But by stating you're at a bar celebrating good news, it's fair assumption that the frat could be with you. It goes back to the ambiguity of whether it's a date.

Why not something like: Hey, XXX. I've received good news, how's about the two of us celebrate it together at Bar X at 19:00?

That way you get to include the celebrating good news and it's clear it's a date.

You'd think so rght? If a chick asked you out that way, wouldnt you assume others would be there with her, or at least wonder if her pals were with her?

This is a good point. It could be inferred that the "I'm celebrating good news" followed by "you're welcome to join" infers friends might be there, which is 100% weak and lame. It's never caused problems for me, but I can see how it might. A good alternative:

"Hey, I have good news and I'm looking to celebrate. Let's grab a drink at Bar X, 9."

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Do you see the problem with you following it up with this statement:If it's never caused a problem, it cannot be 100% weak and lame. It cannot even be 1% weak and lame. It's 100% successful and it shouldn't be changed whatsoever just because of the fact that it has never caused any problems. The real response should be, "No woman has ever inferred it that way so you shouldn't have any issues."

This is the problem when you give advice based on what you think sounds cool as opposed to when you actually do the things that you say. A guy that actually walks the walk develops the conviction in what he does because his experience is all the proof that he needs. The guy that talks big without knowing can be swayed when logic disproves an idea.

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It sounds like you need to get laid, Jack. You'd argue about the color of the sky right now.

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There is no argument. You agree that the whole "I'm celebrating good news" is weak and lame. I pointed that out months and months ago but because it was coming from me you did your typical "you need to get laid" bullshit. I get that your whole routine is when you are wrong you like to resort to personal attacks. That's what a dishonest person does when they are exposed but want to keep the con going.

Even if I do need to get laid, does it change the fact that you call your own advice weak and lame?

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Arch has any chick met you at the bar after that invite and asked where are your friends? I'd assume that would happen... I guess I'm just just confused because if it does happen you'd know it implies your friends.. If it doesn't happen you'd know it doesn't imply your friends. I'm just confused
Edit.. Nvm just realized he already said it hasn't come up. Still confusing because if anyone.. A friend or a random chick said I'm celebrating good news at bar x you can join.. Id assume other ppl would be involved. Maybe I'm weird but celebrating at a bar doesn't make me think that person will be there drinking on their own.

If he recommends the approach and only sees any errors with it when I mentioned it, it must have been consistently effective so I highly doubt it. Most of what Arch suggests with to the point stuff and fitness makes me think he's pretty handsome, so it's not too much of an issue on that front.

My main issue is that if you sent that text to someone in your social circle or a girl you met through friends it could be problematic as it's possible the reference could be to "celebrating good news" could be with mutuals. I think Arch doesn't socialise much with people he isn't seeing so it's less likely to be an issue for him.

I think Arch is 21 and lives in the Rockies so maybe locational and social norms are different.

Yes, fitness is an extremely important component to sustained social success, unless you're famous. I'm not Brad Pitt, but I am fit and confident.

40, Rocky Mountains. But I did just get back from southern California on business/vacation and I've lived in huge cities.

I do agree with you that avoiding any inference to a group gathering is important on a first date. Setting something up with friends is a bitch ass move.

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No...but I could easily see how that might happen with that wording. I've used it plenty of times, but not as much as "Let's grab a drink at bar X, 9", which does not infer a group date.

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The reason why I'm good, is I'm always improving and open minded to change and evolution. Yes, inferring a group/friend date is not a good way to go. A man admits his errors, and makes adjustments rather than throwing an emotional tantrum and refusing to evolve.

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Come on man. You're the guy that says if guys don't agree with you they are getting 4's and 5's or fat chicks or not getting laid. I've pointed out a lot of stuff that you say that doesn't make sense and I'll point out why it doesn't make sense and you're only response is insults and accusations. I don't come at you disrespectfully until you turn it disrespectful. So if you're saying that you are open to change and evolution but you're not able to listen to what other people say, how is that open? I pointed out in the past that your celebrating good news advice didn't imply date or that it would be just you and the girl and you went into a fit...what did Curtis say that was so different that makes you open minded now?

And even still...you claim that you've never had a problem with the celebrating good news. What man in his right mind changes something that doesn't cause a problem in order to prevent something he never experiences?

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Curtis rightly pointed out that it could possibly infer a group meeting. So yeah, I won't use, or advise that line anymore, and stick with my more common, "let's meet at Bar X for a drink."

A secure, dominant male isn't afraid to be wrong, or make changes.

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