Most of the time I experience myself as walking around in some kind of frozen, fearful "beta male state," but sometimes I'm in what I would call a "centered alpha male state," It is probably only 5 % of the time, and it is not so stable, but when I sense that centeredness everything in life seems much smoother. There seems to be hot babes EVERYWHERE and I feel playful and full of confidence. The shift between ABUNDANCE and SCARCITY only seems like a shift between two mental states, and the problem of the whole "beta male state" seems to be about only being to "stuck in my head." When I'm mentally in ABUNDANCE I notice hot babes everywhere and many of them even seem to send me signals of interest. It seems to only be a matter of getting out of my head and into my body and getting into the sexual energies and signals being communicated everywhere all the time. Of course that is difficult when fear and frozen-ness dominates, but it all seems very easy when I feel centered and at ease. Any thoughts on this? I think I have some strong interest in this aspect of pickup.

You described the beginning phase of "pickup" ... Ever hear "It only get's easier"?

As you age and accumulate many interactions with people (beautiful women) you transition into a state where you seldom or are no long are ever "in your head" and in a "beta-male" state. Eventually you are so used to doing that you are never thinking and just moving smoothly no matter where you are.

How do I know...? well

I'm probably thinking too much about it, but it is really shocking sometimes how dramatic the shift can seem from when reality is in scarcity to when it is in abundance. And it almost seems as if it is primarily a mental perception/state. When I'm in abundance-mode often hot babes that I walk across seek eye-contact with me and some even smile. When I'm in scarcity-mode I don't notice anyone sending out any interest towards me, and the streets even seems empty of hot babes.

This isn't magic or some sort of spiritual connection to the universe, dude. Stop complicating it.

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These hos ain't loyal

Hehe. Not so important to me what it is, probably just the brain producing certain chemicals, but it certainly feels like magic sometimes. One time when I was daygaming, I met a woman who was taken, but she was so charmed and told me I had made her day when I stopped her. By our exchange of "energies" I had to lie on the sofa for an hour totally in a bliss-out, felt like I was on mdma. Other times, just getting a smile from a pretty girl can make my day. There is some kind of radiance from a good-looking woman, especially if she also feel good about herself, that can trigger powerful stuff. I think most men shy away from that radiance because it triggers so much of their low self-worth, but getting into abundance oneself, one starts to get qualified for abundance in others, or so it seems

No, there's no radiance. You're just surprised because before you were convinced that saying hi to a woman would lead to her ripping an arm off of your torso and beating you with it. You can convince yourself this is some psychic radiance, or you can practice:

You can practice talking to women, without putting any pressure on yourself for results, until you have a mountain of evidence to prove that there is nothing to fear. Then you start practicing an escalation ladder because there are half a dozen online for free that all work. Then you start trying to pull women home. This is a real shitty summary because it leaves out mountains of nuance. To compare a conversation with a woman to an ecstasy trip screams "I have zero self-confidence and whether I am happy today or not depends entirely on women!" Which reminds me...

That's the other way to get some legit confidence beyond just talking to women - you set goals and work towards goals that don't require another person's confirmation. Train for a 5k, learn a language, take up an instrument, hell learn how to make the best margarita in town. Don't rely on positive feedback from women to determine your mood when you can have accomplishments brought about by your own efforts to confirm your worth.

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These hos ain't loyal

Hahhahahaha! Good to get some perspective on this. Yeah, I realize these are newbie-thoughts like "Wooooah! I spoke to this one babe on the street and the whole universe exploded between us!" Haha......
Escalation LADDER! That's exactly what I need. I knew about escalation, of course, but I really suck at it. I need to have it like really step by step, a plan with lots of different alternatives I can fall back on.

I get women home to my place, but often I feel stuck in a conversation going nowhere except being just intellectually stimulating.

Which ladder do you recommend the most?

Everyone gets those feelings, they are due to your body releasing feel good chemicals... there is evolutionary reasons for them.

I guess you can go study some escalation ladders I did it in my down time just for the knowledge, but the best thing is to get results in field. Go out and start interacting with everyone. There is so much nuance you just can't read about or be prepared for in interaction; a lot is just based on her perception and yours.

Did you miss the part where I told him to go out and practice? This is the kind of advice that goes nowhere: oh just go out and talk to girls! No, you go with a plan, you practice things until they can go automatically. Pickup is just like learning any skill or sport.

Even LeBron James practices his jump shots.

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These hos ain't loyal

Yeah, that is what I need. A plan. I talk a lot with women in many different settings, but it usually doesn't go anywhere at all near seduction. I'm like this fun, nervous, stressed out, dancing monkey in social situations, seeking waaaaaay too much validation. If I could approach for example a room full of people with clear intent about actually wanting to get something to happen with the hot babes in it, a clear game-plan, that would be way better. So I'm working on switching out my airy fairy thoughts about this process with an actual game-plan. Also I need to figure out some kind of daily pickup practice I can do to keep honing my skills. Would have been easier if I had someone that could hold me accountable, but right now I don't have that. I appreciate any suggestions you guys would have about how to actually translate this into action and a plan of development. Unfortunately I live in a smalltown with only 100.000 people in it, so I have some resistance about practices of approaching 5 hot babes a day. But perhaps it would have been cool to be this social guy who just walks around talking with everybody?

Since when does giving advice imply I missed something you put? Why are you echoing yourself while addressing me when I didn't even mention you or the advice you gave? You realize you just did to me what you think I did to you. I just told him to go out and practice. Did I ever say go out without a plan?

Also, if you look at his first post, do you really think learning a ladder is going to help him when he is in that sort of state? There is no way in that state of mind he's going to be able to pull an escalation ladder into the forefront of his head to perform it.



Anyway.. to your question; there is a time and place for everything. It's going to be hard to escalate on a woman who is working, going shopping, in public around friends, etc... just as if you are one on one with a girl at your place you should have a much easier time getting away with things.

What is your real problem? Are you afraid of rejection or is it that you don't think you're good enough?

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

My real problem is some kind of procrastination. I'm not seizing the opportunities when they arise. Probably it has something to do with both fear of rejection and not feeling good enough. I'm so used to long periods of sexual inactivity (I even was a celibate buddhist monk for two years) that I keep postponing the opportunities into the future by for instance thinking "Oh I should have talked to that hot babe over there, but I'll rather do it next time, too much hazzle to deal with that right now." And so I find other ways to keep myself entertained. I have a pretty cool life in all other aspects, but my dating life totally sucks. The answer could have easily been "Just do it!" But there is some kind of deeply ingrained pattern of not seizing the opportunities that I have to break.

I'm studying to become a psychotherapist, and as part of that we have to spend a lot of time in therapy ourselves, so that will probably heal my rejection-traumas and all that not feeling good enough shit. In fact it is already much better.

I deeply wish to get good at game, so I need to figure out a way to get out of this sexual passivity. Perhaps I just need some kind of training program. Some practice to do every day, and some kind of way to hold myself accountable.

Dragula used to advise guys like you to pay for a bootcamp so you have something to lose, like money.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Yeah, that makes sense. I need something like that.

My list so far of possible ways to take action:

- Pay for bootcamp
- Create my own bootcamp together with wing-men friends, like planning a weekend together that is only going to be about pickup.
- Do The Stylelife Challenge
- Set goals like 5 approaches a day and blog about it.
- Some online program
- Create some kind of "inner game" program on my own where I apply the therapeutic techniques I learn in my education, there are a lot of really cool exercises to self-therapy, and adjust them to specifically address my sticking-points in pickup.