So a few weeks ago I sent my girl a bitmoji (like an animated emoji) saying I missed her. About two hours had passed and she hadn't responded back so I sent her another text asking if she got my message. Now I know she went back home (lives in a different state) to celebrate her parent's 30th wedding anniversary (I couldn't make it) that day. While on the phone I asked her if she got the bitmoji and she said yea she sent one back and that I must not have gotten it. I knew she was lying so I probed her again.

Anyways I saw her the next week and I said I knew she was lying (I went through her phone but didn't tell her that part). She confessed and told me she did lie about it and she was sorry. She said she lied because she was busy with her family and when I contacted her again she thought I was getting upset. How I always get so upset about everything and she doesn't know what's going to 'set me off' so she wanted to keep the peace. She mentioned how just a few weeks ago I got really mad at her when I was out with her and her friends and one of the friends who is in a relationship started dancing with another guy. I'll admit I did get really upset with her about that. She also mentioned how I asked her if she liked tall guys (I'm on the shorter side), she said yea and I got upset with her.

So this past week I brought up something she claimed she was joking about from six months ago. I was saying something about me the best white guy she's ever slept with (she's Asian and black) and she said, "ehh you're not great you're just good" then she stuck out her tongue at me and said, "you're not the only white guy the other was good too". She claimed she was joking but I felt like she was trying to hurt me on purpose. Now fast forward months later when I bring it up and she said she doesn't remember saying the other guy was good because he really wasn't. I'm just thinking to myself she's a liar and I tell her I don't believe her. She said you're bringing up something from 6 months ago I highly doubt either one of us remembers what was said word-for-word.

My thing is when I do bring up stuff this happens way too often where we get into you said this, no I didn't, yes you did, etc. I can give her the benefit of the doubt some of the time but this happens way too often. She said how I like to start arguments out of the blue weeks and sometimes months later so unless I have a perfect memory it's unfair to think that she'd have what she said exactly correct. She said I act like she says something completely opposite of what she said previously and of course when you recount an argument or what someone said you're going to deviate just a little, again, unless you have a perfect memory.

I wasn't buying what she was selling so I broke up with her and told her that I've never had a gut feeling like this with another woman before and how lying is worse than cheating to me. I also told her I was more accepting of my last ex who cheated on me a few times because she at least told me the truth eventually. She said I needed counseling because I'm 'damaged' and irrational. My previous two girlfriends cheated on me and she says I don't see it but I am and my gut feeling is wrong and how it doesn't make sense that my gut didn't go off with other ones when they were cheating and she's doing nothing wrong but she's the bad guy. Also, I'm irrational/illogical to think to that lying is worse than cheating when cheating is in fact lying, but I don't see what she's talking about. I told her if she would just admit to lying other times we could move forward. She said she refused to admit to something she didn't do so then I dumped her.


I love her very much and haven't loved anyone as much as her but I just feel like I can never trust her again and it would be naive of me to believe she hasn't lied about other things.

You're crazy and yes leave the chick so she can find someone who can have a healthy relationship with.

How am I crazy? She lied to me.

Yeah, but you sound highly insecure and naggy. She could be sucking dicks when she's away but I cant tell because it does sound true her reasoning...you prob would have gotten upset. The fact you couldnt wait 2 hours after sending a msg, asking about tall guys, and then getting offended at jokes 6 months later...yeah man...you're seriously lucky this chick put up with that.

She lies because she's afraid of your reactions. She's wrong because she's with you more than she is for lying to you. If she's with a guy that has to be emotionally managed in order to keep the peace then she's picked the wrong guy. OP, get your emotions in check and quit going through women's phone trying to find something wrong. I agree that you shouldn't be with her because she will lie, but remember that she lies because of what you've shown her.

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That’s the thing though, it wasn’t a joke. I’m pretty sure she said it to hurt my feelings. She claims it was a joke. I brought it up months later because I wanted her to just own up to it.

Okay, let’s just say she did say to mean so the hell what? That was six months ago. Who brings up crap like that x months later?

Emotionally-uncentered behavior.
Neurotic behavior.
About an emoji from a week earlier?

Batshit crazy behavior.
Because you're an emotionally-uncentered man....very common.


Almost all women like taller guys. Just science, man. They like to feel smaller, feminine.
Jesus christ.
sounds like she was being PLAYFUL, something you are bad at.

Translation: You're acting neurotic.

The problem isn't the conversation. The problem is YOU bringing up this shit months later. It's neurotic and uncentered.



Weird.

She might be right. You're very neurotic and emotionally-uncentered.
You need to work on yourself. all of this was created by your inability to control your emotions.

I feel bad for your girlfriend.

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Thanks for the reply.

Maybe all of this happened because we’re not compatible. I think if I found someone more compatible all of these issues would cease to exist.

Compatbility has nothing to do with it. Your insecurities and neediness are a problem. A compatibility issue would be she starts joking how her ex is better in bed and it offends you. Insecurities are YOU bring up you're her best she says otherwise...you're hurt. Whether she was joking or really meant to hurt you, where do you think that convo where you're bragging was headed? Sorry, she's right...you do need counseling and shouldnt be in a relationship with ANYONE if you're stressing chicks over not replying to a message. Do you not get how needy it is to ask a chick if she got an emoji or even care that she didnt reply to it? It's YOU.

You got 'really mad' at your girlfriend because one of her friends was dancing with another guy? And because she likes taller dude?
What the fuck?
You're bringing up shit the happened half a year ago? Are you sure you're the male of the relationship?
Also, guys, please stop getting insecure about your girlfriends' sex lives.
Honestly OP you do sound irrational. Like neo said, you're naggy and insecure. Girl may have had her own issues but you're lucky she put up with this kind of attitude coming from a supposed "man". You're acting like a teenage girl.

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Just dropping my 2 cents for the OP. Yeah, you are being a little too egocentric here and it does sound like you are just scarred from the past. It sounds like this girl just wants to poke fun since you bring up that kind of shit but you act all immature when she breaks your balls over it. I won't be surprised if she starts checking out of this "relationship " because it sounds like a chore to keep you "happy".

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