Always the case with relationships, the messaging dies down. But how was she when you saw her? It's been a few days since so I'm guessing you're back on track?

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She came back last Friday and I saw her the Saturday.. It was weird at first because she was in a bad mood/ depressed over some issues and being back. Ended the night back at my place and the bad vibes vanished and we had a good time.

Also saw her this Saturday and we are back on track in my opinion.

I guess I just expected or wanted more on the text side of it because our meet ups are everyweek or every 2 weeks because we both work long hours, have different hobbies and lives as well as completely different social circles.

So why couldn't you speak on your need rather than come here and get (mostly shit) advice?

OP is already needy and insecure I doubt telling his gf 'I expect you to message me more because I have no life/ hobbies' is the solution. Much better for him to come here, bitch about it, see he is being needy and HOPEFULLY work on that.

That's my point. You're focusing on the symptom. The root of the matter is a lack of self-worth.

Agreed. Void has told people to use the "speak your needs" advice before, and gotten them dumped, lol.

That kind of advice is terrible early on-especially for needy men who are trying to learn how to give women space.

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Do you have an actual quote from someone that says that they followed his advice and it's gotten them dumped or is this another straw man attempt like Neo has proven that you've done in the past. Start providing quotes, word for word, or links instead of trying to make shit up in an attempt to ruin their credibility.

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It was one of pprince's threads. Not going to look for the exact quote, I have a life.

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That's not true. Just checked his posts and n2 hasn't even commented in any of them. However, there is a thread in which you gave him advice that he followed and ended up losing the girl because it was bad advice. It sounded like cool macho man advice, but it wasn't realistic. I'll post the link if you want, but don't pretend that you've read something that doesn't exist so you can try to bring someone's credibility down.

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That was the thread where he "spoke his needs", and got dumped.

Void's "speak your needs" advice was bad in that thread, and it's bad in this thread.

But for the sake of science, let's have the OP take Void's advice and see what happens....

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No, he followed your advice. There was no "speak your needs" advice in that thread. There wasn't even any n2thevoid in that thread. It was a guy that followed your advice despite the warnings that R.C and I gave about that advice. He lost the girl following your advice but you tried to justify that it was okay because he went back and had sex with his ex girlfriend.

You should quit making stuff up. Void doesn't just say speak your needs. There's a depth to it that you can't understand even when he goes into detail and the only thing that you can read is "speak your needs". Kind of like you try to say is the only thing I say is "be authentic." Either you are an idiot or dishonest or both. I hope it's just dishonest because you can eventually become honest but more than likely you'd always remain an idiot.

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I am a registered psychotherapist/relationship therapist with 50+ active clients, 2 clinics in addition to my own private practice. What is it you do again?

And ya, sometimes dick measuring contests are called for.

Arch, Dr. Sue Johnson, who co-developed Emotionally Focused Therapy, the famous Gottmans, and other heavy weights in couple and marriage therapy would take umbrage to your developing a relationship without needs (which is effectively what you're promoting).

Look into Gottman's 'Relationship House'; the ingredients, if you will, for creating healthy and long-lasting relationships. Dr. John Gottman's work is well respected and is based on the most current research findings as well as decades of clinical experience working with couples.

You're a walking, talking anachronism trying to make a quick buck on exploiting fear. You're more concerned with being 'right' than offering anything of any value.

And yet the women in your life dump you, and you "struggle for months" with the loss. No offense man, I don't mean that as an insult.

I agree with a lot of what you say, buy you're too sensitive and reactionary, and it costs you in your own social life. The "speak your needs" advice is terrible early on. Most guys here are way too needy, and it's why women run from them. They need to learn to be more emotionally-centered early.

I don't make money at all from this. Have I had a few clients, yeah. It's not about money, it's about helping others. And in helping others, it helps me stay on track with being a better man socially.

I also enjoy the sense of camaraderie here, as I find the men here more intelligent than most, which is a welcome relief.

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Lol. So a guy who would like to his gf more must want to do so because he has no life/hobbies? Cant be he just wants something closer to an actual relationship? People advise against LDR's, this sounds awfully close to one, whats the point if youre seeing someone the same amt of time youd see them if they lived further away? Maybe im crazy, but if Im seeing someone every other week and barely talking to them...thats a fwb and I make it that type of relationship.

Following N2's advice could definitely get him dumped. But thats more cause the chick just doesnt really care to talk to him and this is an excuse. If she cares abt the relationship, hearing her bfs concern is gonna lead to better communication. He could do nothing, and guess what will continue, she'll continue to meet every 2 weeks or every week, never really contact him and then just break up anyway when she realizes, I dont really want to talk to him. OP prob has some insecurities, but Im not gonna advise the guy to continue having the relationship he wants more from. And wanting to talk to someone you call your gf is normal. If the chick bails at that notion, she wasnt really into you. Simple truth, the chicks who give a fuck about you arent trying to dump you when you have a well reasoned out concern or need The chicks who do dump you for it, dont care.

And OP, she texted you and sent you a snap the next day. If you want a relationship where you talk more, maybe over the phone, LEAD it there...pick up the phone when you want to talk to her.
Im curious to see Arch's reaction to this as he often throws science to back a point. If the studies support N2s views are they to be followed? Do they matter? And if they cant be followed or dont matter, how can you use science? Just a thought. If the rs is on a thin string like that, then its already over anyway.

I hope he reacts to this as well, but this is usually the point where he bows out of the conversation. Kind of like he did earlier in this thread and n2 aptly pointed out that he'd concoct another argument to something that wasn't said. Surprise surprise.

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