I hope you see that this doesnt make any sense. Its like saying 1=5. I'm scratching my head at how reigning in your emotions, is connected to not having fear of rejection. You basically just connected 2 different things to make a point. In fact, if the purpose is to reign in your emotions so you dont get "dumped" or "blown off" as you say, then you're just AVOIDING rejection and STILL idolizing her.

Look Arch, if you tell a guy, use this line it will stop you from getting rejected, and he uses it over and over and it works again and again, you're getting him laid, but he still fears rejection. Youve just given him something that he hides behind to not get rejected. You're making him actually MORE afraid of rejection because as the tactic works again and again, he realizes he needs to be a certain way or else women wouldnt like him.

Good advice to tell guys not to idolize women...but your way gets guys to idolize women, just be able to hide that you do. Like look at the way you describe these women - "socially valuable" like its something actually important. You make these women sound like achievements to sleep with. "Do xyz or dont do xyz because SHE will think this." And then you'd somehow tie that mentality to not being afraid of rejection? Your advice prob works, but in the same way giving someone an opinion opener will work better for them than telling them to just be themselves. Thats why routines are popular; because they give the guys coming here a better alternative than not fearing rejection. The problem is, that way/your way just AVOIDS rejection; it does nothing for not having fear of rejection.

Have you been drinking?

Fear is an emotion.

They're the same thing, Neo. Jesus, man, lol.

"Socially valuable" means fit and attractive, and women you are strongly attracted to. A guy who is learning, and who is (hopefully) evolving should know that falling back into bad habits (neurotic, controlling, over-texting, temper, serious "talks, attachment issues) will be less tolerated the more socially valuable a woman is. So a man needs to be his best self. controlling bad habits and moving on from them is paramount to success.

Context is very important. When you are getting nexted all the time like the guys on this forum because of your bad habits, a man MUST learn and evolve and change his behavior, or the same results will continue.

You can say "who cares?" and I'll counter with, "why bother posting or reading this forum at all?". this place is to help men who are struggling. In order to stop struggling, these posters must change bad habits. when they master controlling their emotions, they focus on being the fun, chill guy. And the more they do this and have success with women, and the more experience and options the accrue, the less they'll fear rejection.

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Arch, again you miss the point.

Neo is saying that just because you 'reign in' or control your emotions doesn't mean you still don't experience fear.

Do you smoke a crack pipe before logging on? I often wonder because you consistently have delusions as to what others are talking about and then go ahead and argue with them.


Its hilarious how you bait yourself.

The only reason you argue tooth and nail is your desperate attempt to not look wrong so you can BS guys into paying you for your 'service'.

Its either this or you're really just as dumb as you portray yourself to be.

"It's".
"It's".

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That's all you got eh. Go to bed.

Arch isn't an idiot, he just operates on shaky foundation. He's the same guy that was losing his mind because a hot girl had sex with him and then didn't reach out to him for a few days. Then he was with his girlfriend not long after that and was afraid of losing her during the process. I'm not saying this to be insulting to Arch because it's his history and according to him and he still got his girl. The problem is that he got his girl and other girls doing the exact things that he criticizes others for. During no time in his history on the forum has he really been the guy that he's telling other guys to be. And again, that's not an insult because it's reality. He's been neurotic, emotionally uncentered, not dominant, and impatient and at the end of the day he still got the girl. It's why I truly don't understand why he makes a bigger deal out of things when his experience says differently. I've said in the past that I respect the Arch that is more reality based. The caricature of Arch is kind of out there.

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In other words he's an idiot. Sometimes you just gotta call a spade a spade.

Huh?

I'll ask it clearly and directly

How would a guy, by "reigning in his emotions" to over contact a girl, or to send negative emotions over text etc, how would he...by not doing those things and by controlling his emotions TO over text etc, would that make him less afraid of rejection? Simply, how does resisting the urge to contact a girl because she'll blow him off make someone less afraid of rejection? Please, a clear answer...none of the "fear is an emotion" stuff. You might as well say they're both "words."

Youre supposed to be a well read guy, thats why it baffles me when you cant grasp the context of a question. The urge (emotion) to over contact a girl , is different from fear (emotion) of rejection. They are both emotions, but linking them by that is just silly. Someone's fear of heights is not connected to their fear of public speaking.
Would you tell a guy who hits women that not hitting women will conquer his hatred of them? No, he'd stop hitting them, but the inner issues he has with them would still be there.

You are saying controlling your desire to over text makes you less afraid of getting rejected. How? Ignore all the above, if you can just answer that question directly and logically, I'll say you're right. Because truth is, I question a lot of your logic but really wish that you could make me see what you're seeing. Ive disagreed with posters here and theyve explained it and I was like "oh ok...that makes sense." But the reason you get so much arguments against you is simply because even you cant make what you say make sense.

All I can do is shake my head, lol.

But I'll explain once again, perhaps in a way that a layman can understand:

When a man learns to change his bad habits (control his emotions, however they manifest), he will have more success with women. When he has more success with women, he has more options. This breeds abundance mentality and confidence, which is where a man wants to be socially. At this point, rejection is nothing. At this point, he knows his value.

It is this experience, this work ethic that will change a man socially. Not a poster on a forum saying, "hey OP, look in the mirror and tell yourself 'It's the place it comes from"!







It's petty similar. The urge to over-contact a girl is based on fear of rejection, or self-esteem.

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Yes, not contacting women vs over contacting women will get you more success.
Yes
This is where it breaks down. This does not breed abundance mentality. When you have all these rules to follow and keep women at distance so they like you, you're not breeding abundance mentality. You could have 100 women hitting you up for bjs every day, if you're getting this interest/success from avoiding your desires, wants and needs, you're just a guy who knows he has to play a character to get interest. Its not abundance, its not real confidence, no more than being able to get job offers from a fake resume builds real confidence in yourself. Abundance involves you being comfortable with being yourself, not these rules.

See, no one is advising guys to blow up a woman's phone or to be controlling, but you talk about the other extreme ie only text for meetups, dont contact her, dont say if something bothers you. You're the other extreme, the only difference is yes more women will be interested in the guy who doesnt contact them vs the guy who is blowing up their phone...but its still the same fear based approach. You're preaching old school pickup, where guys hide who they are, get laid alot and then get messed up when they realize that they dont have real confidence in themselves. Same with the guys who get laid from routines and tactics then come to the realization that they cant say Hi to a woman.
What value does he know? He's getting women by being inauthentic. Call me crazy, but a homeless person wearing a nice suit and getting treated as a millionaire wouldnt "know his value" when he knows this isnt who he is. And rejection is nothing? You're the one who uses words like "dumped"..."blown off." If you know your value and rejection means nothing, why even care abt this. Say what you want abt us, but if you search jacks, n2s and my own posts, you wont find us talking abt how not to get dumped or really even caring if a guy gets dumped. You however, it means something to. So saying rejection is nothing sounds good, but its SOMETHING to you.
Lol, straw man again. No one said look in a mirror. No one said dont improve yourself. I'll say it clearly...My view is improve yourself until your emotionally centered as you say. That way when you communicate you know its coming from a grounded place. If you've actually done self improvement, you dont over contact, but you contact properly. You dont call a girl's phone crying because she did something, but you can express when you have an issue with something. If you've improved yourself Arch, and still have to resist needy urges then you gotta question what the underlying issue is. I call when I want to call. I say nice things when I want. If I ever for a second felt like I couldnt say or do something I'd know that I value her more than myself and I cared too much about whether she rejected me or not. Thats not a "platitude" thats abundance, ie knowing if a chick doesnt like me for me, I can find another. And being someone other than yourself, is not abundance. You can say it works, but my issue is you calling it abundance. When you say things like "socially valuable women dont like xyz"...that scarcity. It may be true for you and your experiences, but you gotta see thats scarcity. If you've read self help, business or other literature that speak of abundance mentality, its not how many resources (women) you have, its more to do with how you comfortable you are within.

This is the thing with Arch. He has a person that he wants to present himself as on the forum. He has to present himself a certain way in front of women. His validation is what he is presenting as being accepted as opposed to who he is, so his advice comes from that same paradigm. The reason he thinks that guys only do things to impress women (you only tell jokes to impress women) is because everything is a performance.

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Whenever Arch signs on the collective IQ of this forum goes down a good 10 points.

Its probably not easy for him creeping 19 year olds into his mom's basement.

It's important for readers to take note of certain red flags in these posts.

Notice how Jack and Void talk more about my women, than theirs.

Isn't it weird that my advice is peppered with specific personal anecdotes about my girlfriend (and other women I sleep with), while they never bring up their women....ever?

Very strange. You'd think, even by accident , by living a life with women in it, that their advice/posts would contain such anecdotes. Heck, a man would be happy to share his experience. Instead, what you get is non-specific copy and paste about "the place it comes from" and "speak your needs". Over and over.

I'm proud of my girlfriend, and proud of my social success. I live it, and therefore, by nature, it comes out in my posts.

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"Anecdotes" you mean facts. Neo, our resident forum custodian I am sure can dig up the evidence.


You're nothing more than a shyster out to make a quick buck.

Why would I talk about my woman on here?