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Amazing points, guys and I see your points.
Now that it's established it's more about being congruence than anything else. How do you reach there? I mean I have a lot going for myself and I'm at a stage where I feel peaceful with myself(which i didn't until 8 months ago). Now how to reach the next level of being CENTERED, GROUNDED and coming from a buyers frame than being seller?
It looks counter intuitive when you approach a girl, put yourself out there and still not be a seller. How to make your frame like that? Just practice? Or how to me more confident and assertive in general, not just with girls? Because I feel like if you're that confident guy everywhere it will start to show!
If you are cold approaching a chick, you are doing so because she is hot or looks interesting. However, you don't know a single thing about her yet. So the subtext of your interaction is that you want to then determine if she's a cool chick and someone worth pursuing. In this aspect, you are buying...not selling. Just because a girl is hot doesn't mean she is worth chasing after.
If you approach a random girl, you convey high status by being honest with what you are doing and being okay if she says no. Approaching a random girl on the street is always a hail mary play. The pick up schools tend to make cold approaching the bread and butter of seduction, but the truth is that it is not an optimal way to meet women. Meeting random girls is more sorting than "gaming" really. Your goal is to sort through girls that are "no's" and get to girls that are "maybes" and "yes's". The "warmer" an approach is (the more you know the chick and the more you are socially connected in some context) the better your chances become in sparking a connection (typically).
How do you become more confident overall? By being vulnerable.
A vulnerable man:
Stands tall, looks people in the eye when he talks to them.
Says what he thinks and is comfortable if some people disagree with him.
When he makes a mistake, he shrugs it off and apologizes if necessary.
When he isn't good at something, he admits it.
He's unafraid to express his emotions even if that means getting "rejected" sometimes.
He has no problem moving on to people who don't reject him and like him for who he is.