So me and this girl have been dating for a few months but...



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:29 am 
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So me and girl have been dating for a few months and we went out the other night. She has been ridiculously keen and i really dig it, as in she always is first to text and showed more interest in me than i did with her. I infact was not really into her at the beggining then a month ago we decided to seal the deal and call ourselves bf and gf.

Anyway the other night we went out to a club and the place is full of douchebags. And this guy approached her who had hooked up with her sister and they had a quick chat... as they were chatting she put her and on his chest and was talking to him(She is very short and he was tall) I am ridiculously tall. Anyway it bugged me and i pulled her away.

We have had a chat about it and she realized she was wrong and apologized and felt very upset. she was nearly crying because she felt bad. We didn't argue or i didnt scream and i talked to her in a civil manner.

Side note: She has gone out before and guys have approached her, my friend said she pushed one guy away and told him to fuck off.

This is my first relationship and i don't know how to feel though.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 3:40 am 
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i dont see what the big deal is.

she is going to be attracted to other guys and you cant really help that.

deal with it. my exgirlfriend use to flirt with guys all the time but at the end of the night she went home with me. she use to get guys to buy her drinks and then come back to me lol

learn to not get as jealous. a little is fine... just dont get too jealous or it will ruin things real quick

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:44 pm 
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she is going to be attracted to other guys and you cant really help that.

deal with it. my exgirlfriend use to flirt with guys all the time but at the end of the night she went home with me. she use to get guys to buy her drinks and then come back to me lol

learn to not get as jealous. a little is fine... just dont get too jealous or it will ruin things real quick

This is certainly the right mindset, and andy220000 is correct IMO...

The challenge will be actually convincing yourself not to get jealous, since that's a tough emotion to tame, particularly if you're really new to this.

When it's happening just amuse yourself with something else... or better yet, chat up another girl and flip the script on her. She's not doing anything wrong and neither are you.

Bottom line is if she's your girlfriend you should trust her. Do you trust her?

If the answer is yes, let her do her thing... cause she'll come back to you.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 2:33 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
she is going to be attracted to other guys and you cant really help that.

deal with it. my exgirlfriend use to flirt with guys all the time but at the end of the night she went home with me. she use to get guys to buy her drinks and then come back to me lol

learn to not get as jealous. a little is fine... just dont get too jealous or it will ruin things real quick

This is certainly the right mindset, and andy220000 is correct IMO...

The challenge will be actually convincing yourself not to get jealous, since that's a tough emotion to tame, particularly if you're really new to this.

When it's happening just amuse yourself with something else... or better yet, chat up another girl and flip the script on her. She's not doing anything wrong and neither are you.

Bottom line is if she's your girlfriend you should trust her. Do you trust her?

If the answer is yes, let her do her thing... cause she'll come back to you.
Bingo. You either trust this girl or not. You could even lay ground rules in a kind of way.

She can flirt mildly, get him to buy a drink, touch his arm and he can touch hers if she wants, no kissing and I don't want some dude feeling my girl up.

And when she takes you up on it, go flirt with other girls. You'd be amazed at how flirtatious girls will be back at you when you are coming from a "I don't care" attitude.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:26 pm 
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OP, you should read this:
Quote:
Most men and women are afflicted by feelings of jealousy. In rare cases people claim and appear to have no psychological disposition towards feeling jealous. Many people claim to be free of jealousy, yet their behaviors suggest that they only want to be free of jealousy, yet still feel it and endure it as best they can, or they seethe underneath with it. The most common occurrence of jealousy is from the fear of your partner being more satisfied by another man or woman than they are by you and in most people no thought is given to whether their partner is happy to return to them or not, although that is the primary crucial point that must be focused upon.

Once jealousy is overcome however, there are still other obstacles before true sexual enlightenment and peace may be attained. Once a man or woman allows themselves to accept that it is natural and can be emotionally harmless (often even beneficial) to allow their partner to engage with other people they find sexually desirable, they must therefore accept that they may not always be enough to fully satisfy their partner. Until this is consciously understood at some level, understanding of why their partner may desire other partners won’t be attained. It should also be understood, that the giving of sexual pleasure to another is often considered to be a friendly caring and sometimes loving gesture devoid of true sexual desire on one or all parts.

Once one has come to terms with the reasons why their partner may have other partners and that they are fully justified and reasonable to have them in their life, then one has to overcome the fear of not being sufficient to fulfill their partner. Much of the reason for feeling jealousy in the first place comes from the fear that your partner will abandon you for another person who satisfies them more. After coming to terms with the fact that you may not always fully satisfy all the needs of your partner, you may find yourself back where you started, worrying (often subconsciously) that one of the people your partner engages with will satisfy them more than you currently are.

To reach complete peace of mind and enlightenment over sexual jealousy, one must take the time to reflect on oneself. In a healthy balanced relationship with a true connection between partners, it should be easy to find proof to reassure yourself that your partner is bonded to you for real reasons and that you fulfill and satisfy them in ways that other people can’t or don’t as well as you can. Allow yourself to see your partners in life as a faithful animal companion; a dog taken off a leash, a falcon untethered, a horse unbridled, yet still loyal and wanting to stay with you and follow you for the way you make them feel to be with you. If you love someone, set them free and if they love you back, they will stay by choice rather than by the constraints you thought you had needed to keep them against their will. Rules and conditions in a relationship are no better than shackles meant to prevent a prisoner from escaping prison.
Taken from after-jealousy-sexual-enlightenment-vt91940.html

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:50 am 
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It is normal for girls to flirt with other guys...

as well as for me to flirt with other girls...under the radar of course...

this gives you an abundance mindset and make you non-needy...unless you can be occupied with other things in life like your academics or your career...

if my girlfriend doesn't get approached in a club or in the streets...then something is wrong...

end of the day, as long as she doesn't cross the line (kissing and beyond) then it is fine because she will still be going home with me :)

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