Hey guys, could you critique some of my online game? The focus is on conversation and rapport building, not meeting up for lays. The idea is that I might be able to use some of this in real life. In short, I'm looking to synchronise the VERBAL with the NON-VERBAL if you get me. I'll give 5 examples but I've got hundreds more. Thanks.
#GIRL 1 (HB 8.5): this is the most recent convo, it's average game for me. She's dark haired, bright white face and blue eyes. she says she works at RAF and she is also into skyrim - anyone who reads her profile is invited to 'date' her skyrim person, in fact
ME: can your RAF skyrim person drop down and do 20 push-ups?
HER: Hahhaa not for shit
ME: can he/she jump through hoops and stab heavy bags with bayonets though?
HER: Haha certainly not. I'm not in the RAF btw, just work on the base haha
ME: what do you do there? x
D'oh - think I just fell into the small talk trap.
#GIRL 2 (HB 7): she's 32, no information in her profile whatsoever, just a picture of her with a camera in some city (looks like an American city in nice weather. New York perhaps). In spite of such little information about herself to go on, it says she doesn't reply frequently to messages.
ME: it's nice to see some girls take cameras to these beautiful exotic cities, I mean how else would you be able to keep a memento?
HER: Thank you, you seems interesting but I'm much older than you.
ME: you're right too old for me
Best and most typical PUA response to this question just have to see if she replies
#GIRL 3 (HB 7, maybe a 7.5): brunette, looks slightly goofy, she has lots of info in her profile but nothing especially exciting or playful.
ME (hoping she gets the satire): oh! I go to the gym and drink coffee too. But I'm too stupid to read books and I'm a loner so no friends. Message back if interested.
HER (apparently not): Ahh I see you drink strong black coffee. I drink really milky Coffee! I bet you're not that stupid, have you read Harry Potter?
ME: milky coffee? oh well that is it. and harry potter? isn't that about some dorky guy with glasses?
HER: Yeah! Basically mainly milk and splash of coffee - you should try it! Ha ha noo, it's so much more!
ME: so you just like milk then?
oh yeah there's a ginger dude as well.
HER: Yeah basically milk with a kick
Actually it says you've read Harry Potter on your profile. I see its all lies now! Anything else you're lying about? :p
ME: yeah the gym, I mean who can be bothered with that?
HER: Ha ha I can. It's fun
HER: I bet your profile picture must be a lie too
ME: That's right, no way any body could be so drop dead gorgeous in real life
HER: Ha ha
HER: All lies! This is a great start!
ME: Shams, like most things in life require a solid foundation
HER: Is your name even BLANK
ME: that's sort of a demi-lie since it spells out my initials

HER: Ahh okay, I'll let off!
HER: Good day?
oh dear, small talk trap lurking
ME: Yeah a good day woke up pretty late can't say I've done much but fuck it, it's saturday. You?
HER: Sounds pretty relaxed. Yeah I've had a fun day, it's my sisters 18th today so we've been preparing for her party.
HER: When I say prepare, I've just had a two hour nap. Was very nice

ME: 18th is the best one, for my 18th I had a pot of tea and watched east enders with my mum.
ME: well you need to sleep before you can partay
#GIRL 4 (HB
: cute brunette, enough to go on in her profile.
ME: ...sorry did you say something about vodka on a friday night
HER: None tonight!
Not feeling too well.
ME: aah well in that case vodka goes well with cough syrup you know
HER: I don't have a cough though.
ME: they go well together anyway
THEY PROBABLY DON'T
HER: If you say so..

ME (hoping she gets the Cataracs reference): you should ask three 6
GIRL 5 (HB 7.5): Cute girl with hair arranged over lip like hair, so I make a Mario reference. I think I get too sexual in this convo and that is my downfall.
ME: what up mario?
HER: Luigi? Did you shave your stache?
ME (about to make an ERB reference that I hope she will understand): Actually I'm the Wright Brother: Wilbur, not Orville.
Your princess is in MY castle now so why don't you just dudda dudda dudda back down your pipe.
HER (she get's it

): You and your brother can get back in your biplane and make out with each other.
ME: we're gonna beat you so fast it's like we're holding the b button
HER: You'll get pummeled, you'll wish you never stumbled out your little wind tunnel
HER: I'll take the shrooms, you can have the princess... Truce?
ME: I think we should have a bit of both
HER: I'm down. I'll bring the triply felt wall hangings and lava lamp, you get the princess's consent
ME: it's a date
HER (making a rhyme): I'll pick you up at 8
ME (rhyming back): ok bring along a mate
HER: Have protection? I don't want to procreate.
ME (about to put the nail in the coffin): As long as it's sensodyne I can't say I'm one to slate
...and she doesn't reply, no surprise there.
Anyways, yeah critique away and don't beat around the bush because I'm looking to improve my convo game in real life
