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Neo, you are still arguing from an emotional hope point of view. You are still jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. You are making the same arguments that people who have oneitis have. "You guys don't know anything, I know one day she will like me! I will show you"
You are making the same arguments people who try to get their ex-back do as well "oh I want her back, she was so great, she fell out of love, oh help me oh help me"
and it is you that say "oh you can't change a person's mind, can't control a person's actions etc." But here you are saying what if she doesn't change her mind 5 years down the road. That's an emotional hope. Divorce statistics prove you otherwise. You're basically saying, well it's 70% that she will divorce, good luck brah! And the divorce statistics for the second marriage are even worse.
No Mr.A, you are twisting the stats. 50% chance of divorce + 70% chance your wife will be the initiator = 35% chance of your wife initiating a divorce. So divorce statistics prove YOU otherwise. Lol. You're scenario is 35% likely, and thats a straight fact. I'm taking YOUR statistics. So if you get married tomorrow, its 35% likely that your wife will initiate a divorce. Its 50% likely you stay together. And 15% likely YOU initiate a divorce. Who is the one thats emotionally hoping? If you got married tomorrow, you have a 65% chance of being ok. So from your own stats, more men are ok in a marriage than aren't.
Now, using your stats again, you have a 3-4% chance of fathering another man's kid. Dont get me wrong, I feel bad for any man paying for another man's kid or who has been deceived like that. Its dispicable. But its 3-4%.
So facts are:
You get married tomorrow, you have a 35% chance of her divorcing you.
You have a 3-4% chance of fathering another man's kid.
You have a 5% of paying spousal support, and that 5% includes the women who left work or school and a valid case could be made they deserve something, and the women who straight up dont deserve anything. So please stop saying divorce statistics prove this or that, when your own statistics dont (the spousal support one was mine).
Your scenarios are the minority. Your stats show that. Those are the percentages. Now you can say 10M men are going through xyz, but for the purpose of saying how likely something is....
look at the percentages
Lol, in fact, divorce rates are dropping due to marriage occuring later in life. So your 50%, more like 45% and thats generous. Now I wont do the statistics, but if you got married you have roughly 70% chance of being ok and 4% chance of paying alimony.
See, you guys' math(Gum and Mr.A) is all over the place and wrong. "Women are more likely to cheat"...ok, how does that equal an abisymal 3-4% bastard rate? "Thinking everything will be ok is HOPING" Well its not. Its a 35% chance. Your scenario is on the lower end. YOU'RE the hopeful one. I mean if something has changed and 65% doesnt beat 35% any day of the week. "Odds are it will end" Again no. Its less than 50% and 15% of that is your choosing. You dont need hope with these numbers.
Come on guys. You cant throw a 4% statistic to prove something is likely. Likely doesnt mean remote.
Now to say it factually: when you get married, you have a 65% chance of an outcome that was your choosing. Youre 5% at risk to pay alimony to her one day, and 4% likely to father a kid thats not yours. Now I would have no problem if you two had said there's a SMALL chance of these things going bad for you and a prenup is protection.
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Based on your replies, Neo, I'd bet money that you're in a year+ relationship, and seriously considering marriage.
You sound like me, a year ago.
Nope, you sound like me years ago to be frank. But thing is I never was that extreme. These blogs and sites meant to scare you, get off of them. They're dishonest, cherry picking the worse cases and acting like thats even close to the norm. Yes, Ive read the horror stories, but its not the norm. Again, I'm just trying to be honest and fair. See how you linked a "scientific study", spread that to mean "science backs me up" and then quoted a PUA guru's words...trying to combine them to make a point? See how you said women turn against men, and linked something that spoke about them LOSING attraction...Not turning into child support wanters which was the conversation? Thats what I see with alot of the child support/alimony,/prenup stuff. See how you stretched that DATED 50% divorce rate stat to 50%+? See how all this talk of "odds are" and "more likely" are just statistics thrown to make something sound scary? 35% turns into 70%.
I have nothing against either of you,and no I'm not planning a marriage soon. You 2, gotta ask why you YOU biased, because thats where twisting stats comes from. I'd see nothing wrong if both had said the truth, these are some risks, they're remote but maybe we should still protect ourselves. But thats not what it was. It was over exaggerated, wildly, which either implies lack of information, or bias.