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Seemed like they were running away from me but why would they give me their #s?
Because they're not going to pick up when you call. If you've never had a girl give you her number to get rid of you, now you have!
Wow that is so demoralizing...
Da your journal is very inspirational to me. haven't commented on it put i have been reading it. I think I am going to start something similar for myself...
I don't know if Im allowed to hijack my own thread but I don't care the mod can just move it later.
Im went to a casino tonight to play poker, since I just turned 21 so this is barley my 4th time going. I sat at a table with a loud drunk guy, this being my hobby and my source of income a drunk guy is very profitable to play against so I stayed knowing he might be trouble for me.
I don't care if you judge me but I'm a shy, emotional guy(Im working on it). I also think that I may or most certainly have had a mild case of social anxiety but studying pua has helped with that a lot. Anyways this guy and I get into a $400 dollar pot. Usually I play online but since online poker is currently going through a prohibition in the united states, real card rooms are my only option(not that is a bad thing, I get to socialize). So Im in this huge hand with this guy where Im a favorite to win. The cards hit the felt and he ends up beating me. I get a little mad but in order to be any good at this game you have to control your emotions and not show any.
Point of the story, he sees me get mad and he increases his trash talking. He was making me so mad I was getting teary eyed. This is when he called me a little 23 year old mexican boy and I think he might have called me a bitch(I had a headphone in so i couldn't really hear). I was watching him do this to me but I couldn't react, I was frozen. I have never been In a fight nor do I like confrontation(Need help with this badly). Im really not scared to get into a fight if that was the last resort. I know this if fatally wrong thinking but I think I'm scared of getting into a yelling argument because Im scared of being embarrassed in front of other people(there is nine people plus the dealer). I don't like attracting attention to myself like that especially where we could fight. Maybe I am scared to fight but not because id get hurt but because it would be embarrassing how badly he would beat me. Im only 5'6 and 140 pounds, getting beat up would put the ultimate beta label on me.
The worst part of this is the feeling I had when all of this was happening...I felt like a fuking little dog tucking his tail between his legs, its fuking disgusting how I felt. I just felt like I had lost all dignity. The floor manager came over and stood behind me so I think it was bad what he was saying. I was trying so hard to just ignore him and was hoping he would shut up.
Im at lose for words on how I feel...I need a mission to get over this fuking shit. Ive come to realize I need to believe in myself, but truly believe in myself more than anything else in the world, more than the bible, more than anthing...
How the fuck am I going to stand up for a lady if I cant fuking stand up for myself... its fuking disgusting
Something I needed to get off my chest.