Hi there!
I recently got out of a 3 year LTR so am easing back into the game. And really just learning game, the PUA community is new to me. Read "The Game" and now reading "DYD".
Before I got into the recent LTR I was beginning to come into my own when it came to women. I was able to approach them, flirt, number close. I was dating a few women at once but felt like I needed to "settle down". And I settled for the first woman that I liked and was available to me, meaning giving me attention and sex. It was good for a few months but in retrospect I was never proud that she was my girlfriend (in a trophy sort of way) and I eventually fell out of love with her and was not physically attracted to her anymore. I didn't know how to end the LTR, it was easier for me to stay in it. I had a very bad case of
oneitis. She said to me on a few occasions that she "felt sorry for me" in a "you are a broken person and I am simply dating you out of pity" way. On the surface I didn't process it but I think subconsciously I believed her! I felt that I was broken and I felt that I should stay with her because nobody else would want me. Hey, I should be so lucky to be with her. Well I think that this mindset caused me to devalue myself and lose what confidence and self-esteem I had. I was stuck and I felt depressed. I also let her control our social circle and I let my social circle dwindle. Another mistake.
Now I've felt like a weight has been lifted off me after we parted ways. I slowly started getting my confidence and self-esteem back. It feels good! I have made a conscious effort to be more social - re-kindling friendships, never saying no to a social engagement, meeting strangers, lining up dates through match.com (3 so far), smiling, having a positive attitude and being confident. I can smile and have a positive attitude but being confident with myself, I think, will be a
fake it 'til you make it endeavor. I know that I need to work on inner game for this to be a natural part of who I am.
Field Report
I am getting my game back, I was near a number close the other day with a HB8 but didn't have the confidence to do so. I also met a HB10 yesterday. I played it poor to okay. I was at a party and as soon as I saw this girl I knew she was my target. I was already making the rounds, meeting everybody, smiling, having fun, being laid back and cool. I purposely ignored just this girl and never made an effort to meet her (that works for me too because I would have had AA anyways

. At some point I had to use the restroom and didn't know where it was so I asked out loud where it was. HB10 says I'll show you, introduces herself and shows me where it is. I make a neg joke, she laughs. Later we meet again one on one and we begin chatting about boring topics, work, where we live, etc. I was laying back in a chair and she was standing. I noticed that I qualified
myself a time or two which was AFC. Also I remember keeping very limited eye contact with her when I was talking (my current goal, see below). In retrospect I needed to be C&F, DHV, make her qualify
herself, maintain eye contact and smile. I also thought I should have changed the subject from the boring stuff to a female opinion routine. Suggestions? This was the type of girl I want to be dating!
I need to make goals in order to make progress, I already had started doing that, so I'll call that Week 0.
Week 0 Goal
Stop masturbating every day
Method: Just don't choke the chicken! Take a walk, listen to music, don't look at porn. There is a reward of masturbation every Sunday if needed.
Measure: With my nuts full and bursting I should be more inclined to put myself out there.
I completed this goal and rewarded myself! But I do feel less motivation to sarge now LOL
Week 1 Goal
Have strong eye contact
Method: Keep self aware and consciously count 5 conversations every day of this week where I maintain eye contact for longer than the other person/s I am talking to.
Measure: Eye contact has become more instinctual and automatic.
Wrapping this up for today, I'm tall, attractive, in shape, and cool. I want the self-esteem and confidence pieces to help my overall social game that will increase my social value and in turn make me a mPUA so I can get laid by these HB10s!
Any suggestions, comments, tips, opinions are more than welcome!
Nothing worth doing in life is easy,
tinsley