I just don't know who I am. I don't know what I am or what I want to be. I've been trying to act confident but without that inner belief of 'this is me' I just can't. I'm sorry if this dosnt make sense, I don't know how to explain it.

Nah, I totally agree with you and know where your coming from. I don't know about you but I've been putting up the whole act thing and it hasn't been yielding any results. It's alright to admit the way you feel. Its only after you release those negative emotions that you feel free. Men in our society are taught to suppress how we feel. Continue to do what you are doing. Make this your journal, document how you feel that day. I'm sure it'll get better as time progresses.

One of the strangest things a man can be, is free of expectation. My own problem isn't who I am, it's whether I've lived up to my own standards. Not knowing who you are is probably related to feeling inadequate. But what does the universe want from us? Nothing. It is a strange thing to realize how irrelevant it all is. One's reaction to that doesn't have to be depressing, it can be freeing. It gives one the "blank slate" and permission to do whatever one wants in one's life. It is a more intuitive way of existing, instead of a rules-and-regulations way of existing.

cheers guys. ive been putting up an act, and its been working a little. when i was reading about about it i was constantly thinking what i should be / do. but recently ive stopped and ive changed a bit. in a bad way. and now im having a hard time with my GF and everything seems shit.

Idk what exactly is going on here, but I'm learning everyday that life is meant to be surrounded by a diverse array of people. I hope you find the answers you are looking for in life. I know that they can be difficult to locate. I am going through a similar period of mystery, hurt, and uncertainty. Life can be quite uncertain, but you have one thing I lack, friends, and people outside of your home to share that pain with. People who will understand you and tolerate you for you, and if you don't have that, then I guess we're in the same boat .

well im at school still, last year, so i have lots of friends. its the most important thing i think. i hope it works out for you man. but id sugest meeting as many friends as you can. i presume your already trying though.

The #1 issue I see with what you're describing is that you are acting. This is at best mentally draining activity, and is usually an affliction of people who are not comfortable simply accepting themselves as they are.

bowlie, you're in a subsection of this forum with a lot of resources to assist you. I'd like to expand on some ideas, but I think using some of the stickies as examples will have a much better effect.

Have you read through the following thread? Specifically, Hobbit's post in this particular thread is noteworthy as it provides tangible tools to move away from acting and into being real. Here is the link:
practical-attainment-of-inner-game-cont ... 67840.html

See if you can take these suggestions and work your way through them, and, as Gaius suggested earlier, keep a journal on this thread documenting at least once a day how these things go for you.

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- Lux et Veritas -