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Where is the line drawn between trusting/allowing the nature of the woman to flow freely, and saying no this is not acceptable for a relationship?
The line is at the exact point where it makes you feel bad. If your girlfriend is not making you happy, you find one that does. I allow my girlfriend to sleep at her orbiters' houses because quite frankly, I don't care about that. If I find out that she cheated, then off she goes anyway, but I won't worry about what I can't know. But if my girlfriend slept at various dudes' places all the time while doing drugs with them and started fights at pubs and got into all kinds of trouble, she'd be out soon enough.
Asking the question "What would a true alpha do?" is redundant and not quite possible to answer. True alphas do what they want, and this may differ for different guys. For some, smoking could be a deal-breaker, others smoke weed with their girlfriends.
When you first meet a girl, you have expectations. You know what you are looking for. A true alpha will be together with his girl just as long as she is consistent with these expectations. How strict are those and what are these expectations exactly? Well that's what's different for every guy. You need to define your own expectations and screen for them when you are looking for relationships. And you also need to break up with the girl if later it turns out that she doesn't really match what you wanted. Sounds simple, and I know that in reality there are always these blurry areas near the borders and it's a lot more complicated, but you can not really go wrong in relationships if you just follow what your deepest guts tell you.
Peace,
In$tinct