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How is someone supposed to maintain any sort of confidence or self esteem if all they ever experience is rejection or even worse, silent rejection.
I have had a 0% success rate since my girlfriend and I broke up. And to be honest, before her I had no success either, she was my first girlfriend.
Within the past few months, I have gone out a lot.
I have closed a few numbers but have had no dates whatsoever. It has been very painful.
The worst part about this process is I have no way of learning from my mistakes because the rejections are really just situations gone cold.
For the most part, the girls I have been approaching act interested and even ask me if I want their phone number after we have chatted for a while. They often approach me and open me in bars.
They propose "2nd day" ideas and show interest, genuine or not...Maybe girls give out their number to end an unpleasant conversation now or something...
Anyways, after one or two texts they stop responding. Or they usually don't even pick up when I call for the first time even though they offered there number to me.
Most recently I broke the ice with this Hb that takes the train with me everyday. We both go to the same train station and we sit at the same bench for the same train. I have seen her around for a few weeks now. One day we ended up getting into the same car of the train and I worked up the courage to open her. She had her headphones on so I wrote "Good morning, you have your headphones on" and showed her my phone so I wouldnt have to awkwardly talk over her music.
She smiled then took one of her earphones off. I told her I had been taking the train for a while and I only started seeing her recently and I asked if she recently moved her. She said she recently started a new job in the area. She was pleasant and asked me where I worked and so forth. She seemed really shy though. She spoke very quietly. When she got to her stop she asked me for my name we shook hands and she left... I felt I was very relaxed because there wasn't any pressure. I knew I could ask her for her number later on if I wanted to and we would chat again because I see her everyday. So I could get to know her however I wanted...
I haven't seen her since I opened her that day and its been about 2 weeks. So she clearly went out of her way and changed her method of transportation just to avoid having someone to talk to in the mornings.
Sometimes I cannot believe how alienated I feel by people.
I feel like I try my hardest and people show absolutely no effort to be friendly back. I think I have a genuine presence, Im a very descent looking guy, Ive been told I have a very honest warm but somewhat nervous aura.
I just don't get why women treat me like I have leprosy.
Any advise would help.
quit worrying about phone numbers like it is some sort of fucking trophy. there's my first piece of solid advice.
second.... quit being so fucking nice! You have the right idea with the whole "being creative" thing... Putting "Good Morning, You have your head phones on" in your phone... Instead, RIP HER FUCKING HEAD PHONES OFF AND SAY "HEY! I'M TALKING! SHOWS OVER HERE!" AND SMILE! You being different is good... But just toughen up a little bit. Quit being so afraid of rejection. Not every girl is going to reject you... but alot of them will
Think back to when you were a little kid... You saw fire. It looks pretty and cool and fun.... So you get closer to it. Touch it. BAM! It burns you. So now you have this image in your head that you carry with you for the rest of your life that "Hmmmm If I touch fire, I'm gonna burn myself" YOURE DOING THE SAME THING WITH WOMEN! You aren't always gonna get burnt. Instead of focusing on getting phone numbers... Establish some rapport and a connection. If it goes no where... Fuck it. You had the interaction. You learned from it. Figure out what you did next. YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP (EVEN THROUGH THE PHONE/TEXT) with every girl you interact with. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT AND REALIZE THAT YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE.
I went through a divorce so I went through the same thing as you did man... Your really have to sit down and think to yourself "WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT IN A WOMAN?!" and look for THAT. Not just the hole between her legs. Women are VERY instinctive creatures and can pick up on the fact that you are desperate and looking for anything REALLY QUICKLY. They don't want to feel like they are "some other girl" they want to feel special... Because you are a special guy, they will want to feel like a special girl. And if you don't feel that you are a special guy... They will know that.