I'm not too familiar with the theory, I'm sure other members can help you there, but I think we shouldn't confuse naturality with lack of consciousness. If, for instrance, you touch her arm because you think it's the right thing to do at that precise moment, that doesn't make it fake or unnatural, as long as it makes you feel relaxed and natural. Now if, on the other hand you try to play someone else's role not only is that unsustainable in the medium term, you'll probaly end up making a fool of yourself becaue you won't feel comfortable.
It's about trying to become someone better and palying to your strenghts instead of pretending to be someone better. It takes more work but, like you say, it will benefit every aspect of your life. I've become more confident in the last five to ten years and that hasn't only made me more successful with women, but it has also improved my work life and my relations with everyone.
I see you are concerned with being honest, and I can relate to that, but it's a bit like the difference between telling a girl she hasn't put on weight even though she has and telling her you're single when you're married. In one case you're only making her feel comfortable. In the second case you're being dishonest with her.
Sometimes when we say "I have to be honest with her" we're actually thinking "She must know the kind of loser I am". It's as if we were afraid of success. But why can't we think "She must know the great guy I am" instead? And I'm talking about being that great guy with her, not blabbing on about your competitive swimming medals
