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Hey guys have searched the forum for this but couldn't find anything. Would appreciate some help on this one.
Met this girl a short while ago, we seem to get on great and have been using different aspects of game on her.
The last couple of days she's been pretty down with work stuff, I've tried cheering her up by making her feel better about herself etc, which works for a little bit. The problem is I don't want to come across AFC by complimenting her all the time, and end up the guy she just goes to with her problems etc.
Any good ideas on how to approach this?
Cheers
I remember overhearing a girl who had just lost a relative talking about how she was comforted by two different guys. One tried to talk about her problems, the other just made her laugh. She said the guy who made her laugh made her feel better.
It isn't hard to work out why, changing her mental state positively is going to work better than making her think about her problems again, even if you are trying to help her with them.
Of course, you have to strike a balance to avoid coming across as insensitive. The difficulty is that she will probably keep going back into her funk whenever you pull her out of it. Try involving her in some activity-eg, what did you really like doing when you were a kid? Do that.
Here's an NLP trick that really works for me. Get her to imagine she is in a cinema watching a screen. Tell her to think of the events which are bothering her (I know this contradicts what I just said but you'll see why). Tell her to imagine these events taking place in a small black-and-white rectangle in the middle of the screen. Now get her to imagine the events speeded up and comic with the Benny Hill music, or some other ridiculous and comic music if you don't know that, playing in the background.
Finally get her to replay everything backwards and then go through the process again a few times. Tell her to think of her problems this way in future.
She should begin to put the thing in perspective and begin to feel better. We have an extraordinary amount of control over how we remember things emotionally by simply changing the visual images we associate with them.
Probably not a good idea to do this with really tragic stuff, but things like work-related problems are not usually in that category.