Hi Tundra,
I also got genital herpes in Jan 2010. I am a BAFC that ALWAYS used protection (intercourse and oral) but still got herpes through skin to skin contact in the pubic area around the shaft. For the 1st year I had non-stop symptoms, then went on Valtrex daily and it's much better now.
I haven't had sex since then (almost 2 years) it is already extremely difficult for an BAFC to be confident with women but a BAFC with herpes is even better!
went through a depression in april and am seeing a psychologist right now.
I want also to remind you that having Herpes increases chances of getting HIV not only because of open sores but because of the high concentration of CD4 that is present in the area to fight the herpes, unfortunately CD4 is what HIV attach to to penetrate our system.
Having to fight my BAFCness, fear of contaminating someone and fear of getting HIV is just unmanageable.
A little bit about my background: 35 year old, good looking, intelligent, had a girlfriend for 3 years and slept with 5 women. My girlfriend was beautiful hated players and loved my sensitivity. Sexually, it was excellent. Suddenly, a mediocre older player started hitting on her and she started giving him space which humiliated me. I decided to brake up with her. I hated to be so dependent on her actions.
After reading PUA concepts, I'm definitely a man that refuses his virility and she is a women that refuses her femininity that's why we've been together. But, because she is still a women she was attracted to this guy (who ruined her later financially)
I hope to find a solution for my future cause it is extremly hard on me right now.
Good luck and be as safe as you can
