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so just to be clear do you think essentially end it until she comes home? I can see the advantages in that.
or do you mean give her the cut in attention she seems to want while remaining in the relationship?
we've already cut SPAM back from daily to once every 3 or 4 days and so far we're roughly equal in terms of initiating contact, but we do send a fb message daily. she is abroad so its too expensive to text, very frustrating because texts are a much more relaxed way of maintaining contact in my opinion. i could quite easily cut my part of that and allow her to initiate more often.
Im not going to lie, from my side i feel like we did talk too much before, it didnt phase me at the time but there were plenty of times we'd be sitting on SPAM just to sit on SPAM and not really have anything to talk about: when she's at home we don't chat on the phone every day afterall. so i havent taken that badly.
for now we're seeing each other again in a week, so i could bring up the reduced contact and if its helping her feel happier in the relationship when i see her... what do you reckon?
i think that would be a great way to handle it.
BUT DEMEANOR IS SOOO IMPORTANT IN THIS CASE.
you need to GENUINELY believe that you are giving her space for HER benefit, and you need to convey that with a SINCERITY that is obvious.
something along the lines of:
you know that i like you a lot, and i don't want us to burn out because of the distance and pressure, you should really be enjoying yourself right now. i want you to focus on "YOU" right now and find me when you get back. i've got some things that are going to keep me quite busy coming up anyway.
(lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of positivity)
what will this do?
a few things...
1. it will give her the gift of missing you
2. it will convey you are not needy
3. it will show that you are not afraid to lose her and that you aren't controlling
4. it will dhv you by showing that you have a life outside of her
(which i am sure you do, but sometimes with the daily routine calls it gives the appearance of desperation)
5. and it gives her the freedom to do whatever she wants.
if she responds to this with negativity or distress, just grab her, smile, pull her in close and say "don't worry, this is the right thing, i'm doing this for you" and then drop the subject.
do this at the END of your time together, right before you go, so she can't possibly get into an argument or an interrogation about your motives/methods, etc.
make sure you are oozing adoration and positivity and LOTS OF KINO while you are saying this.
if she continues to contact you after that, match her interest level to about 66% or so. a couple of brief texts for every three or so that she sends. keep them brief. but fun, and flirty! (remember, it's not a breakup, just a break) so be flirty!
IF you can pull this off, give it a shot.
kinda takes balls.
you've got to be willing to lose the girl, to keep the girl. right?