what are some questions to ask to guage someones vaues?



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:29 am 
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in the past I've gotten into some bad relationships with really superficial and or crazy women.... I'm trying to think of questions that will let me know what this one girl I'm dating values in a relationship or what should I look for? .... I guess this isn't fail proof because of course girls who are ho's won't say "Hey I'm a ho"...


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 12:39 am 
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Don't jump into relationships so fast.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:08 am 
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Don't jump into relationships so fast.
This is the best answer you're going to get. Take your time in getting to know someone before making any commitments.

There are a number of shortcuts that can give you a rough idea of whether or not you have compatible values, though:
  • At some point I almost always ask girls what superpower they would want. It's easy to interpret their answers to predict what their values might be, e.g. flying = freedom
  • The answer she tells you for the Horse in the classic "Cube" cold reading game can give you an approximate idea of what her expectations are. For example, if she says her horse is a unicorn, fucking run the other way because unicorns aren't real and she expects impossible perfection.
  • Superficiality? Well, this one's going to vary from culture to culture, but ask them about (or look at) their handbag/purse. Is it an expensive designer brand? That's a symptom of superficiality. Note: Don't ever judge a woman just for having a semi-decent handbag, though. A lot of women's clothes don't have pockets for some reason.
  • Craziness? We're all a little crazy. You're going to have to be a little more specific about that one.
  • Infidelity? Everyone has the potential to cheat. There isn't much of a way to get around this one. I guess you just gotta keep them away from guys like me. ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 7:32 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Don't jump into relationships so fast.
This is the best answer you're going to get. Take your time in getting to know someone before making any commitments.

There are a number of shortcuts that can give you a rough idea of whether or not you have compatible values, though:
  • At some point I almost always ask girls what superpower they would want. It's easy to interpret their answers to predict what their values might be, e.g. flying = freedom
  • The answer she tells you for the Horse in the classic "Cube" cold reading game can give you an approximate idea of what her expectations are. For example, if she says her horse is a unicorn, fucking run the other way because unicorns aren't real and she expects impossible perfection.
  • Superficiality? Well, this one's going to vary from culture to culture, but ask them about (or look at) their handbag/purse. Is it an expensive designer brand? That's a symptom of superficiality. Note: Don't ever judge a woman just for having a semi-decent handbag, though. A lot of women's clothes don't have pockets for some reason.
  • Craziness? We're all a little crazy. You're going to have to be a little more specific about that one.
  • Infidelity? Everyone has the potential to cheat. There isn't much of a way to get around this one. I guess you just gotta keep them away from guys like me. ;)
All of this, along with deciding the level of crazy that you can accept.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:04 am 
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Obviously if someone has nice things it doesn't mean they don't put priority of it over other things

Are yousure about the super powers questions? It sounds like you may be over thinking it


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:40 am 
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Obviously if someone has nice things it doesn't mean they don't put priority of it over other things

Are yousure about the super powers questions? It sounds like you may be over thinking it
None of the examples I gave will give you definitive answers, just clues. You'll need a more holistic view by talking to her more to get a better idea of how the pieces all fit together.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:19 am 
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A lot of guys take the cube thing a bit far, either misinterpreting psychoanalytic theory for some cheap parlour trick, or having very little understanding of the theory in general; usually its somewhere between the two, therefore I wouldn't follow Chief's approach on that point.

I do agree, however, that you can't define a person by a behavior, or for that matter set of behaviors,at least not until there's some insight into the intentions behind them. That said, a holistic approach would serve well, and of course listening to your gut too.


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