Thank you very much for that reply, you have no idea what that meant to me. To have someone speak the truth while taking my dignity into consideration feels wonderful. I think you are completely right. I am way above this now, I have to grow a pair and move on so that she understands what she lost. Btw she never cheated on me, when we broke up she went nuts and slept around. That does not bug me slightly, I am a new man whom I love for the first time in my life, and the last piece to this puzzle is having her completely gone because I don't need her

she was my test in life and I passed it. I didn't let this situation break me and I chose to rise above it which I'm proud of. Anyways I'm returning her stuff she left at my place and after that I'm ready to begin the first day of the rest of my life, WITH my pride
PS> A lot of this had to do with my pride, the reason why i did all of this was not because of her, but for myself. I felt i had failed at something for the first time in my life and was obsessed with redeeming myself.