I've been working with the same issue, SuitedCC. NLP patterns work best when they are introduced innocuously into the conversation and are somehow relevant to the topic at hand. It's best to steer the topic in a direction that makes the transition to a pattern feel natural. This can be done by talking fluff (general chit-chat) at first, then eliciting values using the information you've gained, after which it will feel more appropriate to continue the conversational thread on a deeper level (as in running a pattern). An example:
-Me: "Hey, I heard you're into dancing."
-Her: "Yeah, I am."
-Me: "What kind of dance?"
-Her: "Modern stuff, like hip-hop and the like."
-Me: "That's cool. How long have you been doing it?"
-Her: "Since I was about ten."
-Me: "Wow, that's quite some time. Was it your parents who suggested you take up the hobby or did you find it yourself, so to speak?"
-Her: "I've always loved dancing, so it was something I really wanted to try out."
-Me: "So it really lit a spark inside you, did it? The feeling when you find your true passion in life is wonderful, isn't it?"
I would continue probing her positive emotions and try to get her to experience those states in my presence (using a pattern). If successful, I would then anchor them.
A more straightforward approach that wouldn't feel completely random would be something like this:
-Me: You know, people mostly talk about mundane and superficial stuff like work or what they did last weekend, etc., and it's usually really banal. I personally like to get the most out of human contact, and I feel that life can be a much more pleasurable experience when you come out of your shell every now and then. So, how about you take off that social mask of yours for a minute and be your real, inner self?
If she agrees, start eliciting values (asking about her hopes and dreams, for example) and then use patterns and anchoring.
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Also, what do I actually do when i anchored the state of mind? How do I relate it back to me?
You try to trigger an emotional state in her using the anchor in order to create attraction (or to get her more receptive to your suggestions). If you've managed to succesfully anchor an emotional state to a touch on her shoulder, for example, then she'll associate the feeling of your hand touching her shoulder with that specific emotional state. You're more likely to agree with people you like and with whom you feel comfortable.
I think that the best way to become proficient with NLP is to practice the techniques in every conversation you have the possibility to use them. So, wether it's a relative, a co-worker, a friend or an acquaintance, just practice.