Hey, guys. I've been hesitant to post in this forum. Part of me felt like I was crossing some imaginary line of shame by actually joining a PUA forum.

But I realized that this is probably THE only place where I can share and explore the challenges I'm facing—and get the help I need.

I also feel like I'm one of the older guys here (I'm 40...and would be curious to know if any other like-aged guys are here).

My background is pretty typical: I grew up shy and insecure. I had an overbearing mother and an anxious father...neither of whom gave me any guidance whatsoever in dealing with women and sex.

All my life, people have told me that I'm a good-looking guy. I've even heard words like "hot" and "sexy" thrown my way. But as you might know...what others think or say about you has little effect on how you see yourself. And for whatever reason (I can think of a few), I've never been able to shake this deep-rooted belief that no other person would ever want to be with me.

I've had girlfriends...but they all just sort of happened. I'd meet a girl...we'd just happen to click...we'd get physical...and then all of a sudden we're in a long-term relationship. In most cases, I never consciously considered whether or not it was something I wanted to do...I just didn't want to lose the sex, intimacy, etc.

The book No More Mr. Nice Guy pretty much nails me to a T. So if you've read that...and can relate...then you know where I'm coming from.

After spending 6 of the last 7 or 8 years in long-term relationships, I want to finally get this "dating" thing figured out once and for all. The fact of the matter is that I'm 40 years old, and I feel like I've never actually really dated. Not sure if that makes any sense.

I made a conscious decision this past year to not get involved with anyone. Part of that was just enjoying being single, but another part was me avoiding facing that fear of talking to and being with women I didn't know.

An old friend from high school came into town a few weeks ago. He and I were both clueless when it came to women back in the day. Hadn't seen him in at least 20 years. He's now living in LA and dating 21-year old models. We went out and I was envious of his ability to approach women.

I also felt incredibly inferior alongside him. All of my insecurities were magnified. Worse yet, I tried to wing him with a couple of girls and I was completely shut down by the girl I was trying to talk to. One-word answers...looking away...even PULLING OUT HER PHONE to check messages right in front of me. It was brutal. Meanwhile, my friend had his girl smiling and laughing.

That really did a number on me. My already low level of confidence plummeted even further.

I can tell my frustrations are starting to make me an angry person...and that's not who I am.

And that's why I'm here. Posting this intro will get me a little more active in connecting with others going through the same. I've been reading, watching, listening to a lot of personal development stuff that most of you guys are probably familiar with.

But I realize that I can't do this on my own. So here I am.

Hello!

I'll be digging around the forum a bit and seeing what's here. If anyone wants to point me in any direction, all suggestions are welcome.

Thanks!

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"The definition of the truth is...what works."—Paul Chek

Hey,

Taking that first step is what matters. Welcome to the forum bro.
If you have any questions feel free to ask.

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Add me on Facebook - www.facebook.com/bramblenicolas

I can completely relate to what you said. I help guys in this age group, and can help you. PM if you're curious.

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Welcome bro! You're not alone. Most of us have felt those similar feelings but at least you've decided to do something about it and things will change when you stick with it.

I'm 31 so a little younger but I have also suffered insecurity, fear, anxiety and disappointment (who hasn't).

Look, you have to realize that you are the man and that you have to make things happen rather than let things happen as they may. Take charge of your situation like you are doing, change your lifestyle, become obsessed with eating healthy, exercising, socializing and doing things that boost your state. Get feeling good.

Learn some material and a proven system of steps to go through to overcome fear of approaching, build rapport with girls, create attraction, get numbers and meet up with girls.

It might seem really difficult but a little time and practice and you'll be scoring hot babes.

You said you were good looking... lucky you man lol but you have to own it! YOU have to own it, take advantage of it and use your looks plus material

Please keep us posted on how you're doing so we can encourage and advise wherever necessary.

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My live infield hidden camera videos may be of some interest to you https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdKhEk ... Sgb1P4HB6Q

I was a virgin at 21 and had laid around 100 HB's by 28.

I used to be a trainer for PUA training.com with Gambler

Thanks for the feedback. Really helpful.

-sinsing

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"The definition of the truth is...what works."—Paul Chek