OK guys truth is love got me.

Yea some will say its the best feeling, but sometimes I feel its the worst.
According to my prev. experience when I was younger (i'm 29 now) when I got in love it never worked out. Probably because wasn't able to judge the other persons feeling, so it was always one sided and therefore - hurt.

Well now the case a bit different. Obviously years have past by and got more experience and got better at contorting my feelings. I don't buy gifts for women any more I don't buy them flowers and haven't write a love message since I was a teenage fool.

Well situation now is like I want to write something like a love message but not exactly. I want to say my true feelings as a real man would do, and I don't want to do it as a way to get a certain response.

I know this girl likes me and obviously I like her, but distance makes the connecting and communication hard.

I'm trying to let go and move on, but I want to have peace with me and know that I've said what my real intentions and my feelings were, because I think doesn't took me serious. In brief I want to tell her that I love her, I want to be together and I'm ready to work for it, HOWEVER due to the situation I don't want to force her and if she doesn't feel the same I don't want to be an intruder. (of course this is in brief. It will be longer with more details).
What ever happens next... its up to chance. I'm ready to risk it.

But before I get into romantic mode I'd like to hear your opinion. And more specifically what do you think about this:
Is there or was there a case when writing honest message regarding ones feelings and the situation ever resulted in something good it is always shooting once self in the foot.

Cheers.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Are you talking about the same girl from this post: The girl that lowriderzzz should put out of his mind.

She is in a relationship with another guy and she let you know so you wouldn't get any false hope. You shouldn't be writing love notes or buying gifts for her because you had the chance when she was single. Have some pride and quit trying to hide behind the excuse of what a real man would do.

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mpuaforum.proboards.com

Yes I'm talking about her.

I don't want to hide behind excuses. But I want to tell her how I feel so I don't regret not doing so and I want her to know that I don't want to mess with her relationship or what ever it is and I respect that.

Now I regret not telling her that earlier. Maybe I was afraid she would loose attraction toward me if I had admired my feelings.

Sometimes I feel like I want to spit my guts out. It really pains me and I know that I'm responsible for my feelings and know I have to take some action. And I suppose you (or other ppl here) would advice me to go meet and date other women which to some extend distracts me, but DOESN'T help much.

I know that this will probably not turn her back to me, but I want her to know that I'm sincere and man of honor. And then when I know that she knows that I'll let go and try to forget her.


****

But maybe you got point. Maybe I unconsciously try to get her back with all that. Its because I know that I AM responsible for my own happiness so that means that I HAVE TO DO something about it... right? Or not...

What is the best thing to do in that case. Because staying passive only makes me suffer more and post random post on forums and loosing my time and bothering other people with that as well. This has to stop.

How can I use my love in a constructive way....


****

Actually you know what. You made me realize something. Maybe I was just a random guy for that she used to have fun, have sex with for one summer and then just to have fun with me online. Maybe she never perceived me as something serious and probably it was my mistake to perceive her as something more serious.
She never hinted me that she wanted a relationship and when I hinted her about that she felt awkward.
And if that is the case I don't like it. I feel used in that way. I feel like someone took advantage of me then why should I love her.
But I don't know if that is true or not.
So instead of love letter I much rather write her that I don't feel good being taken advance of.

All those thoughts and guesses passing through my mind make me even feel worse.

This is one case that love really doesn't feel good.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

No and no.

It doesn't work. You can't convince a woman logically to be with you.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Yes exactly but I don't aim to convince her to be with me.
Of course I want to be together, but I don't want to manipulate or trick her into that.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

So are you going to on to 4 pages of back and forth again on this thread or are you going to finally ditch this fantasy of yours and move on ?

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In a funk? Read this

pua-lounge/the-importance-patience-this ... his%20game

You're not being honest with yourself. You will do anything it takes to trick/convince/be with her, and spilling your guts to her is part of that.

How do I know? I've been there. Love notes and "spilling" only work if you have a time invested/deep physical and emotional connection with a woman, and you've been cold/too player-ish, and need to open up more.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

Send it. Otherwise you'll go back and forth for days wondering about sending it. Send it, go back and forth for days waiting for a reply. Either way, you're not over this chick so whether you send or not doesnt really matter. Send candies to her place if you want.

^^neo

He's right, tbh. It sounds as though you've already decided to go ahead with this.

O yes I get your point. I've sent in the past (fools teenage years) love notes to girls I didn't had any physical nor emotional connection with them. (of course in that case its pointless)
This time is different. I've been physical with her, she had invested her body and lots of her time with me and we have connection (although) virtual. It is not the most profound relationship there is of course, but I feel her closer because of the things that we've discuses and values we shared.

Perhaps I was player in the beginning in the process of attracting but... duh one can't hide behind this social mask and eventually has to reveal his true self. So thus the purpose of this note.
Not to be player, not be desperate idiot or sh*t like that, not to be maniac.
I'm tired of hiding behind some social personas and stuff. Yes its good to know me as the fun and cool guy she likes but I feel she needs to know the real truth finally: I love her, I want to be together, I'm ready to work for it, HOWEVER obviously if she doesn't feel or want the same there is no point of me doing so and having false illusions and then the only option remains for me to...well.. move on and try to forget her.

But I can't do that unless I know she is clear that my intention was serious and I'm not just a guy for having fun and sex with.

I want to be with her, but I also realize I can't make/force her to want it unless she does it by herself.

This is the truth in its real form.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Not really about to send candies. No point of doing so.

Believe me I'm leaning more toward moving on, but is hard as hell now. And not that I've not tried it. I do but when we still maintain connection I still keep lurking believes of something more real going on.

At the end I'm tired of this. I'm tired of playing like I don't care (which is what attracted her in 1st place btw).
It is not my real self thats benefit the cool outside social persona. I think for one year acquaintance one can't hide and rely on playing games etc. Not that the flirt will stop, not that the cool part of me will be gone, but I feel in that case that sincerity is the best approach.

And yes I know that sincerity probably means different things to different people, I don't mean by it spilling all my guts and sh*t like "I can't live without you" Of course not.

But just the truth in this moment. Because in the next truth might be different.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

I think you should go for it

Clearly this pick up stuff is for people that understand there is more than one girl in the world.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

I don't know...

Sometimes I feel such a pain (actually in the hearth) like someone stabbed me.

Love hurts. And they are right when people say that love makes us do stupid things.

On a conscious rational level I this act probably will look stupid and counter productive.
My rational mind tells me I'd better not do it, but hearth cries: be real, tell it, there is no point of hiding.

Classical mind VS hearth dilemma.

What is the solution for that by the way. If I was a musician I would write a song about my feels, but I'm a copywriter so I resort to writing.

_________________
"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Have you ever had sex with this woman?

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.

You feel lovestruck more and more by day since she has started keeping a distance when she found a new guy.
Are you convinced that you really want this woman and are compatible to live the rest of your life with her should it happen? Because this is what your gesture is saying. Send your letter if you really want if this is eating you inside. I will tell you what will likely happen and what you will achieve with that:

She will not read it and immediately be willing to drop everything, new relationship, living in the other country just to move and be with you. She will just probably say "Awwww, didn't realize this guy was feeling that way, unfortunately it is not that simple / not feeling the same way". At best she will reply to you soon after she receives it saying that it was nice of you but she is seeing someone else, is in a different country with a new life going for her and let you down easy so that you can move on.

At worst and unlikely scenario if she might be considering you as a somewhat serious option will tell you that she needs more time to see things through and will let you hanging on.

Declaring your love to someone who doesn't see you seriously will make them run for the hills and you will not likely see her again even if she breaks up with this guy and visits your country. Wasn't it like 2-3 months you dated without being too serious?

Well at least you will know. Do it since it looks difficult to be convinced otherwise, don't have any expectations and tell us 6-12 months from now how feel about it.
Well, guess what. There is several guys whose intention can be serious including the one she is currently seeing.