I know it will sound weird, but my gut feeling tells me she didn't cheat on me YET, but if our relationship is going to be same way it is now, it's just a matter of time.

Hello everyone,


I have big decision, and I need help. It's probably going to be long topic, but i want to give you guys as much info as necessary.

I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 28 years old, we have been dating around 1,5 years. For easier understanding I'll give you "pros" and "cons" about her. My question is should i stay with her and make this relationship work, or it has run it course.


Pros.

a) we enjoy each other company, we are having good time if we go out, or meet some people, we are cool people to hang around.
b) She is a go getter. She graduated from Masters with A's and B's. She has 2015 brand new car that she payed cash for it. She has her own house, she still owns some money for it, but by 30th birthday she wants to pay it off. She is very smart with money. She doesn't buy stuff just to buy or impress. She has savings, stocks, bonds, etc. Everything she, she did by her self, she is not from a rich family or won a lottery or any of that stuff. She worked a lot and hard for everything she has. (I'm same way, so i love that in females)
c) She loves me, besides telling me that, she actually showed me that. On new years she gave me gift a $600 watch. Even for her it's a lot of money. I was shocked and didn't expect anything like that. On my birthday she took me on a trip, again she paid lodging, food, hotel, everything. I told her she doesn't need to do that, it's a lot of money, she said i love you so much, money is secondary.
d) She is very motivated in anything she does, career, college, me, our future. We were talking about open our business together.
e) We think alike, It's going to be weird but, on our first date we were talking about......stocks and bonds.... She told me she fall in love with me because she found I guy who has goals in life and is motivated to do that.
So she values independence and is goal-driven. Beyond your commonalities, what's the qualify of your EMOTIONAL connection like? I'm not hearing anything about that other than practical reasons things are 'good'.

escalate more what you mean?

Cons.

a)Sex life, in past 6 to 8 months our sex life dropped dramatically, we rarely having it, and when we do, it feels like she is just doing her job, and not enjoying it.

Usually one of the first tangible cues a relationship is heading south.

agree, but maybe there is someething she doesn't like about it?

b) Cheating (?) - I don't know if she cheated but one day i was so drunk and she wasn't home, and i found in her phone text messages from a guy who sent her picture of his wiener covered by heart pillow. She told me that was her ex guy from way past, he was just f--- buddy nothing else, and he didn't know that she is in a relationship. She told me she haven't seen him for at least 8-9 months (at that time we were about 5-6 months in to relationship).
Can't really blame her for something someone else did. Did she put a boundary around that telling him, for example that its inappropriate, and/or blocking him entirely? Its how she'd responded which I am curious about.

she told him she is a strong relationship, and she wants him not to contact her. (I saw in her messages)

c) Flirting with other dudes. I know a lot of cute girls get hit buy guys. My problem is that it looks like she is enjoying when she is hit by other dude. We went few times to the bars, and if i go get drink or went to the bathroom after i come back i see her talking with some random guy.
Define "flirting".

so went to this party, and i went to get drinks and i saw her talking to some dude, he did some kino she didn't reject him. similar thing happened at the bar.

d) This one is weird, but one day she left her Facebook open and she was chating with this guy that she told me about before. He lives in another country, but she said he was her best friend back in high school. In chat they were exchanging smooches and "i can't wait until i can grab your ass". He is not coming here i know for sure, because of money and visa.

Again, how did she respond to this guy's overt come-on is what I'd want to know.

not sure
e) She is very closed in her self, we are talking about anything except our relationship or anything from past, good or bad. She tells me that she was always like that, there is no trust issues with me, just "I'm not comfortable to talk about past". Every time i bring some kind of issue about our relationship, she doesn't give me her opinion, or answer to the question. I feel like i have no idea where our relationship stands and where we are heading. I tried to talk with her countless times with no success.
Does this girl keep you at arms length, not revealing her innermost desires, her feelings etc? Tok to her about what exactly?
ok, she tells me that i know everything about her, but i fell that she tells me nothing. i know bits and pieces about her past but that is it fells like you know more about person in 3-4 months, than almost 2 years with her.
I might missed something else, I'll try to update later. For now, what should i do, should i stay n this relationship or should I move?
I love this girl, but no sex and seeing her almost openly flirting with other guys makes me wonder if she is cheating, on the other hand she spends money and time on me, and treats me well.


Thanks

Here is another question.

Back in the day I did some pick up, routines, etc. I wasn't some kind of player that fucked 20 different chicks a month, but i had my share of success. Now being in a relationship for almost 2 years, wouldn't the game change? I get it that when you dating girl for 2 months or 5 months it's one thing, but when you in a relationship where you thinking about the ring in next year or so, wouldn't that change the "game"?
I love this girl, but i understand that, I have high values for myself and not going to be with someone who doesn't give a shit about me. I get it that it's easy to break relationship and move on to the next girl, but shouldn't i try to figure this one?

I'm just sharing right now what is in my head. I know some shit my not make damn sense, but i just want to get that out of my head, and get some advice and help here guys.