So I'm super fuckin pissed right now and I just don't want to make a rash decision.

My girlfriend of 8 months and I were lying in bed after fucking and she asks me what I would do if my ex tried to initiate contact with me, I told her I would blow her off because I have no interest in her and I'm in love with her. I ask her why she keeps asking me this(it's the 3rd time she's asked) and she says that it's because she has a feeling that she will be trying to contact me soon. I ask her what she would do if her ex tried to contact her to try and rekindle something and she says that she would set him straight because she's in love with me.
We chat a bit more and the convo just sort of dies out and we're laying there playing with our phones and for some reason a thought comes to my mind, it's about this guy she briefly dated that she still occasionally talks to. So I ask her, what about your guy friend? She just kinda laughs and says who are you talking about? I'm like "you know, your bff" and the light bulb goes off in her head and she turns around to look at me and says "oh, you know what I actually talked to him the other day". I couldn't hide the anger in my voice and a mini argument ensued, I said " oh you did, about what, what did you guys talk about?" She said "We just talked", but she was defensive about it so I pressured her some more and asked what he called to talk to her about and she told me he had called to tell her about a trip he was going on. I immediately became cold towards her and she became worried and started asking me why. She asked me if I wanted her to stop talking to him and why I was bothered by it. I told her because she had told me that she had stopped talking to him and she responded by saying that she honestly never recalled telling me that.

So I don't want to make this a novel, but now that those details are out of the way I can give you some backstory. When I first started dating this girl she had been single for a while but was dating and her last ex boyfriend was in prison and all of his things were still at her house, including his car. She said she was holding them for him because she felt bad for him but that they were completely over and done with. She told me they still talked whenever he would call her, again because she felt bad for him. I told her that I didn't like that and she said she understood and about a week or two later she volunteered to tell me that she had spoken with her ex and made it clear that he wasn't to contact her anymore unless it was about getting all of his things out of her house as soon as he got out. Cool, I was happy with that.

Going back in time again to our second date, she asked me how I felt about the fact that she had a guy who she was best friends with. I told her that as a general rule I don't believe in men and women being best friends, only guys that have women friends they wanna fuck and that I don't play that shit, but I said it in a nice way. She seemed amused by my answer, but a little bothered by it in the sense that she didn't agree and that they truly were just friends. She then tried to flip it on me and ask me about any girls that I may have as best friends. I told her that I have male best friends and female friends, but no female best friends because of the dynamic between men and women it's not really possible without there ever being sex involved somewhere along the course of the relationship, facts. She still disagreed so I decided to call her bullshit, I said "Were you ever involved with this guy in any way other than friends?" She smiled and said" yeah, they dated but that it didn't work out because they wanted different things". I rest my case. She hesitantly kind of agreed without actually agreeing verbally and she said something along the lines of "darn".

At this point we were just getting to know each other so I didn't want to appear jealous or controlling because really we were just dating and I didn't feel like we were at the stage where I could ask her to stop talking to some guy she had known longer than me when we weren't even in a relationship.

Fast forward to somewhere in the middle of our relationship and I can't remember how we even got on the subject but she asks me if I would like to meet this guy and holy shit I got pissed, my blood started to boil. My reaction to her question was "Did you fuck this guy?" She looked down and this worried look came over her face and she said "I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that, but yeah, we slept together". Goddamn I was heated, I said "Why would you ever think I would want to meet this fuckin guy, hell fuck no I don't want to meet him, I don't ever wanna be in the same room as him unless it's to fuck him up and don't ever ask me anything like that again.

Back to the present, she is asking me if I want her to stop talking to this guy friend because if I do she will. But here's the thing, I feel like this is a no win situation for me. She knows I don't want her talking to him so why even ask? If I say yes then I'm the controlling jealous boyfriend that won't allow her to have a "guy friend" and that would be so mean of me cause he's such a swell guy(sarcasm), I mean all he ever did was put his penis in my girlfriend, it shouldn't bother me that she considers him a best friend although I should really be her best friend. If I say no, then this orbiting motherfucker, this dick in a jar, keeps hanging around the fringe just waiting to fuck her again when shit goes south. What also bothers me is that I shouldn't have to make this ultimatum, it should come from within her to realize that this isn't appropriate and have consideration for me because as I have already expressed to her I don't have any female best friends, just female friends and bitches I've fucked and if I did have any female bff's hanging around I would cut all ties with them out of respect and consideration for her without her having to ask and she knows this. Holy shit I wanna cut somebodys head off right now!!! Not to mention that she told me she stopped talking to him and hasn't, but now she doesn't recall that and honestly I can't tell her she lied because I have a bad memory and I can't recall her exact words but I remember that being the jist of it. So what do I do?

I really just feel like telling her to keep talking to him if she wants(because obviously she wants to), but that we need to make the relationship a bit more casual, like going back to dating and not being so serious, maybe even see other people because I refuse to continue investing in a situation like this and obviously we aren't at the point in our relationship where I thought we were even though we have talked about marriage(we're older and in our 40's).

She's a great girl, she cooks, cleans, supports me in everything I do and spends money on me, she's very giving, she is always with me and I know she loves me and I love her, but this just doesn't feel right to me. Am I over reacting here or what?

I don't get it... She has a male bf which you know about. And you get mad when they talk? I understand they may have fucked.. I just don't know why you'd get mad that she talked to him. Will reread later

The issue is she was hiding it if i understand correctly?

That makes things fishy

i'd cut her off. i dont trust women anymore, they too hard to keep contented.

he was on her mind while ya was doing

moreover, some situations just shouldnt be.

you're not talking to your ex because you have that belief / that feeling that it isnt right. but she doesnt, so that says you and she have different moral compasses. different value / ethics

_________________
If I was ya man, baby, you'd
Never worry bout what I do
I'd be coming home back to you
Every night, doin' you right

Give this a read OP: pua-lounge/topic190620.html

_________________
Need Coaching? For 1 on 1 Coaching via SPAM, Phone or Instant Messenger - Email: EddieFews@Gmail.com

Show Support, Buy The Book: 'The Secret Laws Of Social Wisdom - Click Here

http://www.EddieFews.com

Im not even going to read the full story. The title says enough. Let it be known, majority of females who have or male friends are keeping those male friends for a reason. Maybe an orbiter or maybe a plan b. Either way, ive leqrned through my own personal experience of having female friends that i was never "just a friend"

OP you cant do much because you accepted it in the beginning so it would just be wrong to say she has to drop the friend now. I would suggest just finding a new girl friend. One that doesn't put importance on having male friends.

Ok, read it

I gotta come down on you OP, you knew this girl had a male friend she slept with, if that mattered to you, shouldve not gotten serious. Now, youve wasted months of someone's life because you wanted to drop your standards and accept less than you wanted.

Next thing is, you're insecure and immature. You're 40. You really even thinking about fucking a guy up because he's an ex of your gf? He hasnt disrespected your relationship. He hasnt fucked her while you 2 were together. You're that mad about her having a penis years ago that you want to fuck him up if you see him? Your blood really starts to boil, when you walked into a situation, ie her being friends with the guy, kept going and then when you are asked if youd like to meet this friend you get mad? You really want to be mad at a guy for who he fucked in the past? Because at the end of the day, thats all it is. The person who disrespected you, was not him, but her, for talking about an ex while in bed, if it just wasnt random conversation.

Heres the thing, I cant say whether your gf is going to cheat on you with this guy. Truth is, if a girl is gonna cheat on you, she'll cheat on you. If she's open to fucking an old friend behind your back, she's open to fucking a stranger. So if you think your chick is that type, why be with her in the first place?

From what I see, your gf tried to introduce you to the guy she considers a friend now. So I gotta give her a point for handling it like an adult. Whether he wants to fuck her is irrelevant. Lol. Side note: guys always act like every guy is trying to fuck their gf. In many cases, the guy left your girl because she was trash or was too loose down there. Or she put on weight. Or he was just banging her and didnt want to put up with her shit anymore. There are guys who can say they dont want me around their gf cause I banged her. And I have to laugh at that, because Im not even attracted to those chicks again. Just saying, there are many dynamics of why people fuck, and it all just doesnt mean they would fuck again.

But, at the end of the day its your gf. If he wants to bang her, fine. Whats the problem? When he makes a move, let her be the one to turn him down. If she doesnt, then thats a problem you have with your gf. You can cut this guy from her life, cool...but if there was a possibility she'd have gone back and fucked him, she's already fucking someone else. Watch your girl for signs of her straying, but dont stress yourself over which guy it is. Thats stupid. If she wants to cheat she will. If she's open to being seduced, she will be. You guys are with these girls you feel insecure with, either because of your own insecurities, or because they're showing you signs they dont really respect you, and instead of focusing there, you want to focus on stopping her from fucking X guy.

If you want a girl who doesnt have male friends, fine, thats your right. But as long as she has any male friends, a dick will always be there. Its up to you trust your girl isnt looking to jump on another dick, not which dick it is. If you sense theres more to their relationship, fine end it. Im just saying focus on whether you can trust your girl, not whether a certain guy is trying to fuck her. Because a good gf, would shut down contact herself if she felt conversations were getting inappropriate or he made a move. So what kind of gf do you think you have?

Ok, so here's the deal. If I met the guy would I fuck him up, no I wouldn't. Why did I say it then? Because I wanted her to know how much I dislike the fact that she wants me to meet some guy she used to fuck. Is it immature probably, but it's the best I could come up with at the time. She didn't disrespect me, if you read it again I was the one who brought it up because of what she asked me. I don't think she wants to fuck him, but I don't like the fact that she described him as her male best friend, I'm supposed to fill that role and I don't like the fact that she talks to a guy she used to fuck, it's just that simple, call it what you will but I'm not down with that. The only reason guys ever still talk to girls they didn't want a relationship with is because they may want to smash again at some point, that's it, I firmly believe that because otherwise they have no use for them. She doesn't make me feel insecure, it's the opposite, but I feel like it's disrespectful and inconsiderate of her to keep talking to some guy she dated when she knows I don't approve. Bottom line like I said if she wanted me to cut ties with a chick I used to bang, I would and I expect the same in return, that's what's bothering me as well. Something else, things never worked out between them because " they wanted different things", whatever the fuck that means. My guess is that she wanted a relationship and he didn't in which case he still wanted to fuck her but she wouldn't allow it. So there's only one reason why he would still be talking to her.

Oh what a deep hole you're digging for yourself. And we're all at the top watching as you insistently dig deeper and deeper.

Dude if it was me i would make it clear to my gf. Drop this guy or forget about me: and clearly give her no attention until she confirms that he's out of the picture. If she puts up any resistance to cut him off then that shows you how important this guy is to her life, and how less important you are compared to him. But its your life, you do as you please...just dont cry later down the road after we've told you so

Shitty AFC advice^^^^^

.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

"Sweetheart, grown ass women make their own decisions, I am confidant you'll make the right one."

In order to win, you must be willing to lose.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

At least this would be taking plausible deniability out of the equation.

Ok, so here's the deal. If I met the guy would I fuck him up, no I wouldn't. Why did I say it then? Because I wanted her to know how much I dislike the fact that she wants me to meet some guy she used to fuck. Is it immature probably, but it's the best I could come up with at the time. She didn't disrespect me, if you read it again I was the one who brought it up because of what she asked me. I don't think she wants to fuck him, but I don't like the fact that she described him as her male best friend, I'm supposed to fill that role and I don't like the fact that she talks to a guy she used to fuck, it's just that simple, call it what you will but I'm not down with that. The only reason guys ever still talk to girls they didn't want a relationship with is because they may want to smash again at some point, that's it, I firmly believe that because otherwise they have no use for them. She doesn't make me feel insecure, it's the opposite, but I feel like it's disrespectful and inconsiderate of her to keep talking to some guy she dated when she knows I don't approve. Bottom line like I said if she wanted me to cut ties with a chick I used to bang, I would and I expect the same in return, that's what's bothering me as well. Something else, things never worked out between them because " they wanted different things", whatever the fuck that means. My guess is that she wanted a relationship and he didn't in which case he still wanted to fuck her but she wouldn't allow it. So there's only one reason why he would still be talking to her.[/quote]

Dude if it was me i would make it clear to my gf. Drop this guy or forget about me: and clearly give her no attention until she confirms that he's out of the picture. If she puts up any resistance to cut him off then that shows you how important this guy is to her life, and how less important you are compared to him. But its your life, you do as you please...just dont cry later down the road after we've told you so
Shitty AFC advice^^^^^[/quote]

OP is an AFC