Hey, y'all.

I decided to create this post that focuses on my attempts at establishing a meetup through Tinder. I'll talk about what i think I did wrong, how I should've answered, and hopefully we'll all learn something or two about Text Game. Your thoughts and opinions are awesome.

When a meetup seems to go through, I'll post it on my other topic: online-sarging/first-time-meeting-someo ... 95301.html. But for now, this is what a conversation between me and some girl on Tinder looks like:

Me: "Hey hottie" (I always start the conversation like this. Props to horologist for giving me insight. In fact, I thank horologist for giving me a general idea on how to properly text.)
Her: "Hey what's up"
Me: "Finished a quiz, then off to the lab. You ?"
Her: "Typical student life lol I have the day off and my college friends came to visit so hanging out with them"
Me: "Hanging out... Like typical college students or Netflix and chill ? Either way, I'm a pro at both lol"
Her: "No your day is a typical college life. I graduated already haha And my girl friends are on spring break and decided to visit me. Sooo yea no Netflix and chill Lool"
Me: "My spring break actually starts next week, so if you're down to grab some coffee or a beer, shoot me a text. You look like someone who knows how to chill without the Netflix lol" (I realized my mistake: I made it her decision to choose whether or not she could hang with me. Also, my way of thinking is that if a girl texts me a really long message, then it's fine to respond in kind, or at least at some other point further down the road. I should've answered her long message with a short one.)
Her: "Sorry, next week is bad for me I have an interview and should probably focus on that"

As we all know... that's bullshit. Sure, there could be a chance that she's actually preparing for an interview, but I find it more believable that she's actually testing me to see if I'll bend my back over her. A chump would bend his back as follows:

Chump: "Not next week? Well, how about the week after?"
Her: "Sorry! It's my best best best BEST friend's birthday lol"
Chump: "Oh, really? Well, how about the day after?"
Her: "[Bullshit excuses intensifies]."

We all know where this will lead to, and fortunately, I can read in between the lines. So for now, I'll respond with:

Me: "Alright. I'll work on my life goals, you work on yours, and i'll get back to you later."

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

Dude you don't have to try so hard...get the number, then try set something up for that week. Don't try to be clever or funny it's tinder. Your pictures does all the work all you have to do is come across normal and not creepy.

Hey Bro,

I'm flattered that you took some advice from my texting scenario. I can see you jumped a lot more forward in your texting and that's good. I'm gonna critique you a little bit, if you don't mind. Nothing I say is solid, it's all just my opinion so change whatever you want for who you are.


Me: "Hey hottie" (I always start the conversation like this. Props to horologist for giving me insight. In fact, I thank horologist for giving me a general idea on how to properly text.)
I love saying "Hey Hottie" because that compliment is a reward for them giving me their number, or them texting me.
Her: "Hey what's up"
Me: "Finished a quiz, then off to the lab. You ?"
Me: "Rocked the dog-fuckin'-shit out of a quiz! then off to blow up the lab! you?
Her: "Typical student life lol I have the day off and my college friends came to visit so hanging out with them"
Me: "Hanging out... Like typical college students or Netflix and chill ? Either way, I'm a pro at both lol"
Me: "Heh! Typical college life hanging out means getting drunk and naked. I'm in! Where are we doing this shit?
Her: "No your day is a typical college life. I graduated already haha And my girl friends are on spring break and decided to visit me. Sooo yea no Netflix and chill Lool"
Me: "My spring break actually starts next week, so if you're down to grab some coffee or a beer, shoot me a text. You look like someone who knows how to chill without the Netflix lol"
Me: My spring break starts next week. I have some pretty big party plans but I think I'd rather come pick you up, slash a few cop car tires, get drunk driving to vegas, and elope in an elvis chapel. So look like we're gonna be married next week. Sound good boo bear?


Chump: "Not next week? Well, how about the week after?"
Me: I love how busy you girls say you are when really we both know you're watching a sad movie while in your dirty pajamas eating a bucket of ice cream with orange cheeto stains on your fingers. I wouldn't want your gross cheeto fingers in my bed anyway, ya lil gross girl :p
Her: "Sorry! It's my best best best BEST friend's birthday lol"
Chump: "Oh, really? Well, how about the day after?"
Me: Have fun bruh
Her: "[Bullshit excuses intensifies]."
Me: Next!

Also as far as "Netflix and Chill." It's a social joke at this point. So I like to make fun of it a few ways. Either I'll say "Netflix and "Chill"" with "Chill" in quotations, or I'll go a little further like this:
^^^Change this however you want, shorten it, lengthen it, whatever. Just hit on all 8 cylinders.

It's easier said than done, mate. To you, Text Game may be second-nature, but there are guys (myself included) who have no idea what the hell they're doing and need to work on texting to see any progress. I actually did come across as normal and not creepy, and you know where this got me? NOWHERE. But what's worse than being creepy is being too friendly. Check out my other post: online-sarging/tinder-she-started-the-c ... 94497.html.
The pleasure's all mine, man. I've been texting pretty aggressively with a don't-care-what-you-think attitude while minding boundaries. It just sucks how you can't send pictures on Tinder :/

Since I'm still a noob at texting on Tinder, my goal is to exchange contact info. I'll update this post to let you guys see where the conversation between me and this girl is going.

_________________
"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

My view is there is too much investment on your part in the exchange. Keep it lighter, tell her ur busy and invite her for a juice drink. It's tinder so it's even more of a #s game than RL. Keep honing your presentation.

Okay, i'll try to keep my messages more concise. But since the girl shot me pretty long text, that's a pretty huge investment on her part, right?
So i could say something along the lines of, "I'm super busy rn, but i'd like us to grab some coffee later"

I did say in our conversation how I'm basically free for the entire week next week, but she says how she needs to "prepare for an interview." i wouldn't want the follow-up conversation to be me trying to get our schedules to work and then she goes silent.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

I like the quote in your sig nrjose27

Try out different styles to see what works for you, or blend various styles together.

I don't think she was too invested but it doesn't really matter.

I just re-read the exchange more closely and I don't think you did anything wrong. I also don't think you were overly-invested upon reading through it again.

I like the "cheetos" reply by Horol.

Why not send it to her, what do you have to lose.

You already told her you are a pro at netflix and chill, what difference will it make to send the cheeto line over to her. None, so you might as well send it.

The overt cocky funny sexuality over text works for Horol because it resonates with who he is at his core. If the girl meets you IRL and you can't pull off this personality it will be incongruent. But like i said try different styles and find what works for ya.

I sent her a text this afternoon. (I actually didn't send my initial reponse to her interview comment.) I took H's response and changed it a little bit:

"I love how busy you girls say you are when you're really watching 'the notebook' while sobbing into a tub of chocolate ice cream. You'd make a pretty big mess on my bed and I wouldnt want that, ya Gosling fangirl :p"

I feel like the emoticon is too much, but it's out there now. If she responds, I'll let you guys know. If not, then off to the next one.
Thanks, man haha. Ryan Gosling is my personal role model.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

Glad you put the emoji in there, without it the text would possibly come off as being angry or bitter. Let's see if she replies. Again there was nothing to lose here.

I literally don't even know who Ryan Gosling is. Looked up his IMDB and have never seen a single one of his films. I do not pay attention to popular culture. Cool quote anyway.

Two films I recommend you watch are "Drive" and "Crazy, Stupid, Love." The former showcases his badassery (the film even shows a few bewbs) and the latter pretty much highlights him being a pickup artist. He has confidence, style, and pretty much everything a man should be.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

Well I take it she didn't reply. O well, next!

Yeeeup lol

Anyways, you do have a point: i need to be congruent both in my text and IRL. I just gotta build myself into that comfortable state until it becomes natural.

And low investment, low investment, low investment!! Looking back on some of the texts on Tinder, I didn't realize how early i was investing in the conversation while she was contributing very little. I guess I was texting "too friendly". I'll try not to fall for this mistake again by keeping my texts rather short.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

So this was a pretty weird thing that happened. Idk how often it happens to you guys, but it was still kinda bizarre. Some things you guys need to know:

1) This didn't happen over Tinder.
2) I wasn't trying to pickup this girl. I was just trying to build a social circle.
3) This girl has told me beforehand how she's seeing someone and I respected her decision.
4) We met each other in a classroom during the fall semester. That's 3 months of seeing each other on the regular.
5) It was only at the end of last January that we bumped into each other by chance. We had great conversation and exchanged contact info.

Well, let's cut to the weirdness, shall we?

Me: "Movies Sunday night?" (I know how movies are the ABSOLUTE WORST, but keep in mind: I'm not trying to pick her up. We're friends... at least I think we are.)
Her: "Haha let's get to know each other before the movies! I'm quite busy on Sunday actually and pretty booked but maybe the 19th? How does that seem"
Me: "19th is most appropriate. So bar first, then movies?" (The initial plan was movies, then bar, then back to my place. I was gonna suggest that we go back to my place in person.)
Her: "Nah I don't wanna drive around drunk lol"
Her: "Also too broke for a movie"
Her: "So how about a cup of tea?"
Me: "Sure, tea. Where at?"
Her: "Hidden grounds? I have yet to check that out"
Me: "The one in [such-and-such place]? Isn't that opening soon?"
Her: "I thought it was open already"
Me: "Theres and old one and a new one being built"

NEXT DAY

Me: "Im at the place where Taylor Swift shot her blank space video" (I really was. I wanted to see her reaction.)
Her: "Where is that?" (Well, that sucked.)

NEXT DAY (Hang on to your butts!!)

Me: "What time are you free this Saturday ?"
Her: "Sorry to say this. I think you have quite an interesting character but it's just that I'm not up for meeting anyone new lately. I don't want to waste your time."
Her: "so I was hoping i could give you a direct answer (Really? Really??? After what you said in the beginning of the text, you suddenly drop this shit of bull on me? I ain't interested in you, guuurl! You're freaking out over us sipping some tea? It was your idea to talk over tea, to "get to know each other", but you're seriously telling me this despite us friendzoning each other??)
Me: "What?? I don't wanna date you! I just wanted to catch up like how friends normally do :/ lol"
Her: "Lol I know normal friends I know"
Her: "I'm just really not up for meeting new people"
Me: "In general? • 3 •"
Her: "Yeah..."
Me: "Alright. Until next time..."

So what the fuck was this all about? Is this behavior considered "normal" for girls? If so, then there really isn't much we guys can do about it, huh? I was thinking about deleting her from my contacts since she isn't up for seeing anyone. From our conversation, I think she just wants to invest all her time and energy on the guy she's seeing. But honestly, girls can't make friends on the side?

So yeah, I thought I'd share you guys this bit. This is my first time dealing with something like this, and it's certainly not the last.

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"I've learned it's important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is." - Ryan Gosling

That's all a little odd. I think she got a date-vibe from you though. I wouldn't know though honestly. Oh well, move on. I would have changed only a couple of things, just because it suits me better I'm sure, but still.

Yeah, it's kind of weird. Girls do NOT want to be "just friends". It's weird, but true. If a girl wants to consider adding you as a friend, it's either because you have something to offer her(access to parties, social circle, professional connections, *something*), OR she considers you a dating/sex option. So when you rule yourself out as a dating/sex option, you'd have to offer her one of the other things, or she just won't care to get to know you.

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RSDTyler