Haha. I think he's saying you should dominate your struggles n2. It's funnier the other way around though if that's what he meant

Upon re-reading I think you're right. LOL I misspoke. I really need more sleep:p

I meant dominating your struggles

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The way I'd look at it is it's a privilege for your girlfriend to know about the difficult parts of your history. That shows trust in her and if she seems anything but honoured that you're doing so I'd have question marks about her. I'm sure you wouldn't share such things lightly and I'm sure she knows that. But own it as an integral part of your story. It is you. She either wants you or doesn't. She doesn't get to have a version of you who hasn't been through this shit.

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May have more to do with the Op's beliefs about himself rather than her per se.

Always? No.
Yes, and for that reason.

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Indeed. Perhaps I didn't imply that as successfully as I intended

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

IMO, if you show your vulnerablities to her in return in future she could hit you by them. It is like actually gaming, if you see the weaknesses of boss, you hit these points to defeat. The situation is the same. You can share your toughts but still u should be carefull what you say. Do not say the whole thing. If you show so much vulnerabilities, she could consider you as emotionaly fucked up guy with wounds. Do not be o.emotional, you are man. Accept the shit and place it to the ground.

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Your view of what it is to be male is antiquated and self-defeating, leaving no room for anything but fear to prevail within a relationship.

The only way to truly connect to another human being is through vulnerability. If you're not being vulnerable, you are not connecting at a personal level and people can sense this (unless they suffer from some sort of autism spectrum disorder).

Thoughts are mind-stuff. If thoughts are devoid from feeling (what's 'alive' in one's self), they are just mind-stuff. You see this with people who suffer from Schizoaffective-type disorders where they are very heady/rational-minded being able to talk a lot about content and details but devoid of connecting to any emotional experience. If you've ever been around such individuals you'll find that no matter how much talking they do, you never feel any sort of a connection with them beyond the surface.

The stigma males face on what's 'weak' and what's 'strong' Is at the heart of the issue. The old paradigm that a strong man doesn't speak about feelings, and that only boys or unstable men do is what causes most guys to detach to what's actually going on inside of them. Consequently they seek passive-aggressive, non-direct ways of having needs met which is truly sad.

It takes a lot of courage in being vulnerable, quite contrary to what most guys have been raised to believe. Far more than disavowing one's emotions and needs and putting this façade up as to what they've been told is a desirable masculine trait.

Beyond that, not being vulnerable for fear of reprisal by your partner is a scary prospect and contributes to violence. It sets the tone for an adversarial relationship governed on both sides by fear, and each person becomes a Punitive God.

Gaming and relationships are completely different areas and I think guys who are used to only gaming and have never been in a meaningful relationship don't know what to do sometimes once they enter into a LTR. A lot of the advice on this site other than the relationships section that we are presently in simply doesn't pertain to relationships nor should it.

"Gaming" is, for the most part (at least in the PUA culture) is about fear, and exploiting that to get what you want in others. Relationships don't prosper or evolve out of fear in a healthy way, they set-up the chess board so-to-speak, and the guy is in a perpetual state of having a strategy mindset. It should be to no surprise that this just perpetuates a deceptive pattern, one far removed from living authentically, and instead replaces it with an 'us vs them' dynamic. It sets for a negative tone.

I mean of course we should show some vulnerabilities to.our partners, but on the other hand, this could show us weak from theirs perpective, which is i think beta.

Buddies and family member are there for deeper issues, but gfs judge us a bit different. Think about crying in front of your gf? what would she think. Emotional? Weak? Pussy?

Whatever it is, even if u should show some vulnerabilities, best way to communicate with them by reduced way. Anyway connection with the emotions is a must for LTR's.

IMO i wont show much vulnerabilities.

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Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

By gaming i was referring to the normal level headed style of meeting women that you and many others advocate on this forum. Just stating how the way a guy behaves in front of a new woman is most often different than how he behaves in an LTR from an overhead perspective i.e. spilling his guts about all of the trials and tribulations of his life etc. But i totally see what you are stating here as well.

Personally, I dont get the divide between gaming and relationships. Maybe I date differently but its all the same to me. I'm not lying to girls to get them to sleep with them and then honest in a relationship. I'm not hiding my thoughts from a girl on the 1st date, or after 10 years of marriage. I'm not fun and bold when dating women, then go to staying in when I get a relationship. Same way I'm flirting with a new girl, I'm flirting with a gf. Maybe if we stop seeing them as 2 separate skill sets things would be better.

If you're an emotionally fucked up guy, maybe fix that before dating? Its like you want to be fucked up and hide that from a chick, instead of caring for your own self, fixing your issues and entering a relationship from a non fucked up place. If the teacher molested you at 7 and you're suffering bad depression over it, sure, telling a girl she may use it as a weakness. But if the teacher molested you, and you tell her that you've sought therapy for it and now you've accepted that it happened and it makes you mentor kids now because you want to look out for them...thats NOT a weakness. In the first case, a girl could tell you out of anger "you're fucked up because you were molested!", in the second case, she cant. Same guy, just one of them is a stronger person due to his past, one is still defined by it. So whatever you're afraid to tell a girl, its because its still dominating you (credit RC). Instead of trying to hide your weaknesses, what about fixing them and coming out stronger so you actually WANT to share your journey.

I am strong enough to get over things. If i cant i d go to psychologist and take SPAM. So simple for me is that.
I think u said so much shit about yourself, therefore u get divorced?
Think you r bipolar. Would you say it to your gf. How d you satisfy yourself by getting dumped by her for your disorder, which u can not do anything.

SOME SHIT MUST STAY ALWAYS HIDDEN.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.