Ugh.

I dig this girl a lot. We've been seeing each other since January 1, about 3 times a week. Sometimes she spends the night, other times I hit up her place.

The other day I get the "are we more than sex?" text, so I surprise her with dinner out and she's very happy. Then she invites me over to her place for a movie and says "no sex" because her stomach hurts. Normally all we do is have crazy sex, so this day is the first no-sex hangout.

Things are going great, she's very affectionate, etc on the couch. Then she starts touching herself, which she knows drives me crazy, yet she still insists on no sex. So I tell her while we're playing that "I have other options".

She seemed flabbergasted that I had other girls hitting me up.

I was stoned pretty hard on THC, and I just blurt shit out sometimes. I now feel terrible for what I said.

She gets up and storms out of the room. I ask her if she's mad, and she says "yes, because you're an asshole".

This girl does 90% of the texting, calling and contacting to meet up. Sometimes she just comes over, walks right upstairs and strips down with merely a "hey".

I'd like to see more of her. How to recover without going beta?

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Way to annihilate a girl's self esteem dude. Good job.

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Damn dude, you really mucked that up. I'm new to this whole seen but to me it seems like she tested you and you failed. Instead of just rolling past her my stomach hurts comment, which it probably did as she just ate, you attempted to make her jealous by saying you have other options, seems kind of beta to me (as in my experience only women do things like this). AS for how to make up that mistake, I have no clue, you gotta pull the good old Bill Clinton deflection tactic. Good luck man, let me know how that turns out.

That's an absolutely moronic thing to tell a girl.

How to recover? Stop worrying about the bullshit alpha beta shit and be normal. Vocalizing your alpha attitude is what got you into this mess.

You over did it.

Just, don't start begging for forgiveness (don't make up excuses also), say you were out of the line and continue behaving like you did so far.

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Thanks, dudes.

I have applied a string alpha frame from the start. She does all of the texting to talk and meet...like clockwork, every other day.

I have not heard from her since Tuesday evening. I'm thinking I should contact her first.

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I myself don't like to argue over texts. I would arrange a meet and just simply tell her I was out of the line, without much apologizing.


But, keep in mind, Alphas do apologize when they screw up so there's no shame in that.

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what you said isn't bad except in the context you said it. Her insecurity stems from the fact that you wont commit to her, and she likes you a lot, so by saying "I have options" you just exacerbated her primary point of contention. You said the exact right thing at the exact wrong time to the wrong person. In any case its not that big of a deal, you just have to decide if you want to make her more exclusive, or if you want to appear to make her more exclusive for some extra relational/sexual mileage, or if you want to be honest and hope she will settle for fuck buddy status.

I like her a lot. I want a relationship with her. She's crazy/insane in the bedroom, and sweet outside (as long as I act alpha), she gets bitchy to non-alpha men.



The advice from you guys is great. I appreciate this forum.

It's been two days since I heard from her. Let her come to me when she's ready or text her?

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Are you a writer by chance? This is extremely analytical and articulate.

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thanks, no, but I'm an engineer so I'm usually overly analytical.

You said you are seeing her three times a week, I can see where a lot of girls who want you to be her boyfriend may not think that's enough time. I would speak with her about that. You might feel you are spending enough time with her but she may require more time than you realize to feel secure.

Just call her and apologize.

Stop waiting. There is no need to act "alpha" here. YOU crossed the line, hurt her feelings, so you should call, apologize for taking so long to contact her, and apologize for what was an off the cuff and unintended insult.

Part of being a good person is knowing when to apologize for your mistakes, we all make them from time to time.

Once she accepts your apology, consider the matter OVER and don't bring it up again or let her bring it up again.

Quote from the Ancient Tao

"A skillful soldier is not violent..."

"The best fighter doesn't get angry...."

"A Skillful Dancer doesn't brag... he is, it shows"

Meaning

Don't go telling girls you get girls lol.... it should be obvious to her you are capable of that.

Is so subliminal... I'm always so awesome around girls they often times think i'm a player.... and when they bring it up I have a line for that too lmao.

But its all built on core confidence.

Build that in you.

I'm not going to tell you how to get her back because that's obvious.

But I hope this served as a lesson.

Anything built on the core foundations of the universe, never truly fails.

Specially attraction, lol.

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Yeah OP. Part of being that Alpha guy you so badly want to display is owning your actions. Mistakes included. So own your mistake and apologize to the girl.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

First thing is... This chick was playing games. You don't tell a guy you can't have sex then tease him like that. So she started some bs right there. Having said that.. What you said wasn't so bad just how you said it. I've told many girls I have options, I have a wife, I just fucked a chick before you came over... But it's in an obvious cocky asshole way that gets a playful reaction back. I would never tell a girl in a serious matter or in response to something that I have options. And if you 2 were playing like that you should've said it more playfully.. I don't know if you said it in this trying to be alpha manner.

Granted she was fucking with you and you responded poorly. You can apologize calmly and tell her don't play like that anymore. Also consider whether you really want to wife a girl that you have to act alpha so that she will not be bitchy to you. Cause shit like this will just keep popping up.