Hi,

I'm new on here and was hoping to get a bit of advice with this situation.

My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. This is my first love and i'm pretty much at rockbottom.

We were madly in love with each other. We just clicked, everything about us just clicked. It was incredible.

I am at uni with her and have been for 2 years. We are now in our final year. We've been going out since June last year.

Basically I kissed another girl just on the lips in November last year and didn't tell her for 6 months. Because I didn't tell her we had a really bad year at uni because I became controlling because of the guilt. At the end of the academic year in late May she broke up with me because of how I treated her. It lasted a week and then we got back together. I went and spent the weekend with her and it was incredible and back to normal again. Then when I was about to go home i told her i kissed another girl 6 months ago. She was distraught as you can imagine. It was 3 weeks of absolute agony up until the end of June. At the end of that 3 weeks we got back together and never looked back. It was incredible again. July and August were incredible everything was back to normal.

Then she went on holiday to Greece at the end of August with her friend and her family for a week. She left on Sunday and up until Thursday it was incredible. She was saying how much she loved and missed me, shed been thinking about me all the time she couldn't wait to get back to see me etc etc. I told her I couldn't see her when she got back as I was going to see my friend. This friend is the guy I was with when I kissed the other girl and she hates him! Despises him. I told her that i might go and see him before she left for Greece. She said I can't tell you I don't want you seeing him but it makes me uncomfortable. i just don't want to see any pictures or hear about it.

She left for Greece on Sunday and as I said it was incredible up until Thursday when we had an argument over something stupid. I think she was also upset that I was going to see my friend that weekend. And that was the point where she started have serious doubts about being at uni with me because of how bad it was last time we were there.

She got back on the Sunday 31st and went to uni the next day and i came to see her. We hadn't seen each other for 11 days and when I saw her she was acting distant and off with me. This went on like this on and off until Friday then she drove home and I came with her but i was still being persistent that something was wrong. In the car on the way home I dragged it out of her and said I don't think I want to be with you anymore i'm so numb to everything now, it feels like a wait off my shoulders etc etc. We got home and I said i'll get a train back home and then I was playing with her dogs for a bit while we were both outside and she just burst into tears and was like please stay tonight. I ended up staying all weekend and going back to uni with her on Sunday night. We had a great weekend and it went from 'I don't want to be with you' to 'can we go on a break' to 'I want to be with you I just need some space'. So things were fine until Thursday 10th September when she started acting weird again and I had a go at her because it was putting me through so much emotional turmoil. She ended up going home that weekend and sent me a long message saying how sorry she was and that she was going to make it up to me etc. She took me for dinner on Monday 14th and she said I'm drawing a line under this, I want to be with you and lets move on. Everything was absolutely fine up until Thursday 24th where she started being weird again. I had a go at her and dragged it out of her because she said she didn't even know she was being like that. She spoke to me later that night and I said I needed an answer and she said 'please I don't want to be here I feel rushed into a decision etc etc but in the end we ended up breaking up. I didn't feel like it was a break though because she kept everything on social media, deleted nothing and didn't bring my stuff back. So I went and saw her on Saturday 26th and gave her two weeks to clear her head and let me know if she wanted to be with me or not. It last until Wednesday when I saw her out at the club and spoke to her. Then I saw her this Friday just gone and wanted to access the situation...

We hugged and she held my hand and I kissed her hand and she kissed it back and I though things were absolutely fine. Then I asked her where she at and she said she didn't want to be with me and seemed so certain of it?! I said i don't think you've had enough time and that I was going to fight for her etc. Then I was asking why she doesn't want to be with me when only a week ago she was telling me how much she loved me and would wait for me if I went abroad for a few months etc. She started to cry and said she didn't want to have this chat right now?! So she left and 10 minutes later I went to her house and picked up all my stuff and broke it off for good. We had an argument and she started crying and got angry. So that was the end of that.

I don't understand why she hasn't deleted me of social media or any pictures. She's only deleted one picture from Instagram. But everything else is still up there?! Also when I went into her room the pictures of us were still on the wall?! And she was holding my hand and said it was really good to see me?!

Personally I think that she is in denial. She didn't give me a definitive answer for breaking up with me it was just that she said she wasn't as happy in the relationship since September and she's not as excited to see me since september. I feel that the reason for this is because of the fact that I went to see my friend she hates because it reminds her of what I did and also she even admitted in September that she was so scared about going back to uni with me because of how bad it was.

Also I feel that she has put this wall up against me and buried her emotions away. I feel that at some point those emotions will resurface and she will text me and want to get back with me.

Please can anyone give me some advice on whats gone on here?!

And what do I do to get her back?!

Sorry for the long post

Yikes. That was a mouthful.

Sounds to me that you severed the dynamic when she caught you kissing 2/3 different girls on separate occasions.

In my opinion, not much you can do but continue working on improving your life. That's the best way to win back a girl from my experience. The more you try to convince her to stay, the more you will push her away.

Sounds to me that you're not made for one girl. People become their true selves when they make the "drunk mistakes" and kiss girls behind their gf's back etc.

Not the answer you were hoping to hear. But this is a pick up forum. We embrace abundance. Not try to win back severed relationships.

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