my friend told me to post here asking about "iois"

my gf of six months is acting differnt:

- wanting to spend a lot of time at work. and talking about her boss a lot. she is working 50+ hours or more and is still broke as shit.


- always talks about her boss: wants to watch his favotire movie once. knows where he lives (WTF?). she sent me a post of his facebook post telling me how funny it was. also told me she thought it was funny she called her his bitch, because she does work for him and a few other guys. I met him once and he seemed REALLY quite, just said hi, while all her other froends at work were chatting with me and acting freindly.

- she is avoiding me a lot lately. like at the store we ended up in separate lines and she walked right by me waiting as I was checking out, going to the car. (she knew i was there). why would a gf not stop, and walk out with me?

- when we go out with friedns I find myself talking to her friends more than her. Sometimes even texting other people or trying to look busy

- she is nagging a lot more than she did. about waht clotes I wear somtimes.

- the other day i broke up with her. just telling her, Im not good at relationships. She was frantic... started calling and texting up storm.... then came over that night and we had sex like we did before about two weeks ago when the changes started.. then the next day she was back to kind of ignoring me and naggin all the time..


am i reading this right or being insecure and needy? I'm not good at relationships, i know. but this seems obvious to me? i know im being a little/a lot insecure and needy, but do i have reason? should i end it?

If not what shouls i say? I cannot say your ignoring and i feel bad

she's been having a lot of MIA hours too. they seem to be getting more and more, but her work is getting busier too. its a summer place where she is full time. its hard the reasons seem kind of legit, but my fridnds say cheaters always have a good excuse. also i know she has cheated in the past and is the type that loves sex. so im probalbty the only one she has ahd a lot of sex with?

If she's working 50+ hrs a week, maybe that's why she's distant and busy and not available/MIA.

I'm sure we're only seeing part of the story here so I doubt anyone can actually confirm your suspicions of whether she's cheating or not... but how old is she?

Is this her first real job? She may just be trying to make a good impression.

Honestly I'm not convinced she's cheating or that there's anything at all going on with the boss, based on what you've written here... but you'd know better than I would (I have all of 200 words that you wrote as clues)... The only thing that really makes me believe she MIGHT be is that she's cheated before...

Once a cheater....

I think if a girl would cheat, she would not make it that obvious.

Maybe trying to make you jealous...

It's not a good sign if a girl starts talking about another guy all the time. And the workplace is where cheating takes place most often. Women like guys in power, so your girl may be attracted to her boss. Is he physically fit and handsome?

Also, if shit just starts changing out of nowhere, if the dynamic of the relationship changes, that's always a red flag but not necessarily a guaranteed indicator she could be cheating on you.

My read would be she might be attracted to her boss and getting a little stale in the relationship with you, but it's too difficult to tell if she's actually cheating on you. Most of the time they're not. So don't preemptively break up with her and then get back together with her because that's the kind of shit that will cause her to find another guy. Generally a break-up or instance of infidelity goes like this:

1. sex drastically reduced
2. nagging starts
3. complaining starts ("i'm depressed," "i'm not happy," "you always do X and i hate it")
4. full-blown fighting starts
4. suddenly a new guy who's "just a friend" enters the picture or she starts talking about another guy a lot
5. she starts spending more time away from you, disappearing without saying where she's going, etc.
6. she starts going out on the town by herself or with her female friends a lot
7. she breaks up or cheats

Guys are lucky because unless a girl is just a complete monster, she will give you so many warning signs that she's losing interest, because she has to emotionally distance herself from you and justify cheating on you or breaking up with you. One of the most important tenets of "relationship game" is that you need to be a master at reading these signals, and react accordingly.

But here's a huge piece of advice: never, ever consider seriously dating or marrying a woman who has cheated on someone. Just don't. Have fun with her, enjoy it while it lasts, but do *not* get too attached or fall in love with her under any circumstances.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

Send her a bunch of flowers to her workplace with a little note saying " Thinking of you x"

If she thanks you for them, you're the only guy on the scene, if she says nothing... well draw your own conclusions...

To answer a few questions:

Her boss is not too good looking and a little overweight. I don't think he's better looking than me. I could be wrong, but I usually get compliments on my looks and workout almost everyday (just the other day, some granny told me, "my you are a handsome man" out of nowhere at a restaurant (I don't get that a lot, but a every so often). I could probably kick his ass, if I were that insecure (at that point, I'd just say "you can have her", though.)

I did send her flowers at work once. She called me about an hour later crying, and sent me pictures of them on her desk and posted them on Facebook. (I don't have a Facebook, but she sent me pictures of the post.). Told me she was at lunch when they arrived. Which I have no reason to believe she was not.

I'm probably being REALLY insecure (well I am). We're talking about moving into together next month - me moving into her place (because it makes the most sense geographically). And it just has me worried, this whole 180 in behavior

Not too sure if I can be too critical on the cheating thing. I asked her if she cheated before, and she was honest about it far as I know. Ive also cheated in the past as well and would not do it in this relationship (except for revenge if I were 110% sure). But I do know I only want to watch a chick's favorite movie if I'm into them? She asked me to get that movie the night before?

I talked to her about her "boss thing" when it started to wear thin on me. I basically said, "I didn't want to spoil the mood the other night. But Why the heck were we watching you boss' favorite movie last night?. And I'm still not quite sure exactly WHY you know where he lives."

She went on explaining each. I got tired of it and just said, "I don't care! I don't care where boss lives, I just don't care about your boss.. Put yourself in my shoes, what if I start telling you where the secretary at work lives and want to watch her favorite movie with you. Then she apologized and said, "yes. I'm glad you put it that way. I never thought of it like that". Then never really brought him up ever again.

We were talking about moving in together next month. I know if I act like a little whiny bitch, that will do nothing but drive her away. I do admit, I obviously like her. But just don't know, it's hard too see things clearly when emotions and other things get involved.

Any advice would so helpful.



EDIT: she has cheated in past relationship(s). I didn't want be too needy to go into details.. Neither of us have ever been married. We were just talking about our past to each other and I asked if she ever cheated before, and she said yes. I simply replied with, me too a few times.

Another thing I didn't mention was the night before all the flaky behavior started on of her ex's texted her while I was using her phone. They had a conversation that looked like it could have been partially deleted (not sure).

It went something like:
Him (First text that was shown but others could have been deleted.): Yummi!
Her: where is the money you owe me?
Him: I don't have a job.
Her: whose problem is that?
Him (when I was using her phone): You are a troll. That's why you'll never get married and ill end up a cat lady. Wanna have sex?
Me: I'm a troll, let's see a picture of you?
Him: Why?
(I asked her if her was like 7" tall and huge. She replied with hell, no."
Me: This isn't her. This is her bf. If I ever see you, we're gonna have huge issues.
Him: If you text this number again, I'll call the police
Him: BTW - she's crazy and watch your wallet around her, she's a fake

So... can't really say much about that. So I guess I may have just got little insecure after that?

She's cheating or she's considering it.

Trust your gut.

I don't think its with the boss, she wouldn't go parading his name around as much as she is, but that could be a cover "guy" to avoid talking about whoever it is.

The position your coming from in this post and the things you've clearly allowed in this relationship is a reflection of the type of behavior men who get cheated on exhibit.

I'm with Chantos, although I believe there are a couple steps that could be off that list.

Her frantic behavior after the break up is more than likely a reflection/admission of "guilt".. She was just uninterested before the break up.

I know you're going to want to see full blown evidence before you make any decisions, but take it from a dude thats been there in the past.. You could either leave now, and preserve your ego and pride. Or find out the hard way and take the lessons and grow from the pain.

Just remember that this is YOUR fault. A woman is only going to cheat on a guy who she believes she can either get away with it with (because he lacks the self awareness to notice the natural behavior changes) , or that she thinks he isn't man enough to leave her if he found out - That theres a chance (even if its 1%) that he would take her back.

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Ask to use her phone....
This is the root of the problem

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Wrong! thats assuming that shes completely aware of how shes acting and most humans arent.

I had a LTR GF start fucking her boss and it was pretty much like the OP described. Added wearing skimping dresses to work. One day I stopped by and she sat down next to him and placed her knee on his knee. How could she be so obvious? Because shes unaware of herself...

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My personal mantra:

"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"