| I will try to keep it short:
GF and I broke up a few weeks ago because of a thing I did (hurt her feelings, very emotional, rough weeks afterwards), actually tried to keep us from breaking up but "fighting" for it like that (chasing her) never works I guess. We kept talking about our relationship and shit while broken up, very fucking emotional messages. Met again, talked and made up, kissed. Next day we meet up and while everything starts out okay she suddenly becomes quiet and uncomfortable, says she needs to leave and texts me later that she's sorry but still can't really trust me and that she needs time. See each other the next day, spend new years together but I was too drunk to do much, brought her home though and kissed at her door.
Texted for a week like when we were together, weird situation though because we didn't see each other at all. Told her that this is situation is bullshit and agreed to meet the next day. Went over to her place, we basically "agreed" that it sucks and we can't continue like that. Talked and laughed a lot (we have great chemistry), she was very attached, laid her head in my lap, put her and in my crotch, hugged me, laid on my chest, always came close to my face and 'wanted" to kiss me, I touched her a lot too, lot's of teasing and kino, I played VERY hard to get and lot's of push-push-pull - hell, I didn't think I had anything to lose anymore. In hindsight I guess I was too distant and she gave up towards the end... I regret that right now.
I then laid her down, touched her belly, pulled down her pants and starting fingering her, I said "FWB isn't bad either", she said "... it doesn't work once you've been in a relationship". It continued, she said "sex without kissing?", I pulled her up, kissed her, then pushed her away saying "I don't want to kiss you", she said "I don't want to kiss you either". She blew me I ate out her blah blah she said "One last time..?" and we fucked.
Afterwards we got dressed, kissed and hugged, basically saying goodbye for good. As I went to the door she grabbed my arm and kissed me again, hugged me again, we said good bye and then I left.
Later that night she texted me
"I thought that when you'd came over you'd make suggestions as to how we can work this out, but that was never on your mind right?"
(few minutes later) "I'm tired and maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe we should talk tomorrow"
I answered that I didn't have concrete intentions in one direction or another but that I knew that I would not continue like that
"What?"
"Nevermind..."
I answered "wat"
"I don't understand the content of your message"
I answered that I had worded it perfectly and that she must be pretty tired if she doesn't understand that
"How can you be so rational?"
"I can't"
I answered that I don't even find it rational but emotional instead, that I knew that I would not continue with us in that halfhearted and undecided back-and-forth way. Then I said "I'm tired, let's talk tomorrow. Sleep well"
She answered with four messages, several minutes apart.
"Why didn't you show me then that it isn't halfhearted for you"
"Why didn't you ever show me?"
"Why couldn't you understand how horrible everything was for me and at least try to make it up to me like you promised?"
"You kept me in the dark all the time, I bit my teeth out on you (it's a phrase, translation is something like "hard nut to crack"), until I didn't have the strength left to wait for something to come from you."
Answered the next day that I didn't keep her in the dark and that I told her that it was all or nothing for me, it was never halfhearted. That we have a chemistry like no one else but that this way we are not making anything out of it and that can't be it.
I'm not sure what to make of it, but I would love to get back together with her - I really love this girl and we have great chemistry.
Not being a bitch worked great but I guess I overdid the hard to get thing, not sure though if her extreme physicalness was a test though. How can I make this happen?
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CHAT