Girl:
Alias: EV - Young - 23 year old Latina, very pretty with a big booty. (I am 29)

She's a Cosplayer and into Anime, Good sense of humor - funny as hell, sweet when she wants to but can be evil if messed with. She's a country girl sheltered by her strict Mexican heritage and has high family values. Her and I have very similar personalities and experiences.

However, she's also a party girl and gets hit on by most guys. She's got natural game that can grasp any guy by the balls. She can be immature (given the 23yo vs 29yo me) and deal with things irrationally.

Situation:
We met at a bar when I made moves on her and swooped her off her feet. She wanted to be my gf 3 months into talking but I made her chase me for 7 months without a title because I was not ready. The 7 months of being the alpha male was great. I maintained attraction by leading 100%, making every date a surprise and out of the norm. I thought what we had was awesome. The attention she gave me was perfect - just right without smothering me. For 5-6 months that we were actually dating/talking, we behaved like bf/gf - just without the title. She allowed me to go at my pace without the title, but little did I know that my pace was breaking her heart. She folded and confessed to me that she was crazy about me and that my pace was getting ridiculous. Still I stood my ground and told her title doesn't change anything. She started accusing me of having several girlfriends - I didn't during our engagement. My pace was due to me focusing on myself after a break up of a 2 year relationship the previous year and me not being ready was for me to fully get my head together. I am thorough with my communication with her and always explain (maturely) my position and how this would be good for our relationship in the long run. My intentions were always good.

Now that I finally realize that I actually want to be with her, the tables have turned and I find myself trying extra harder but she now gives me less affection and attention. I've asked her to be mine but now she says she's not ready. I feel like I shot myself in the foot for making her wait for so long and lost the affection that she used to give me. I've folded find myself constantly looking for the validation! Im the one initiating affection now and usually the one calling and texting and it feels like she is distant. A part of me sympathizes for her patience therefore, I feel like the push/pull or "soft next" would not work and things would just fall apart. Maybe I'm wrong?

Problem:
I need my mojo back and I am constantly figuring out a way to gain my alpha male status without pushing her away farther. How do I get her to be the chaser again?

Dude - PUA tactics don't work perfectly when you're actually IN a relationship.

Drop the alpha shit, to a point. It's fine to lead... in fact you should always be leading - but you don't have to string the girl along and refuse to go exclusive with her just because you want to look alpha. That's the mentality of a child.

She'll come around, if she's as crazy about you as you say. Just keep doing what you're doing (without the need to absolutely demand the respect of an alpha and maintain your alpha frame).

Don't push her. Don't bring it up again. If you've told her you're ready, just go with it. Guaranteed if that's what she wants, she'll bring it up to you again.

Thanks Charles,

I actually have dropped the alpha status and let my gaurd down. I guess my question is do I keep push/pulling to get her attention/affection? This may push her away more because how long she's waited? Or just let it ride and keep doing what I'm doing and being affectionate. I feel that this may smother her.

Regardless, I'm always leading. But I feel like I'm constantly putting effort into what we have now, and she's not reciprocating.

You need to let it ride and go with it.

If you start questioning her about her decisions and why she's no longer wanting to be BF/GF then you'll just push her away. You won't look as in control as you once were.

You've told her what you want... the rest is up to her.

With that said - you don't have to wait for her... Are you actually exclusive without this label? If not... a date with another girl will both piss her off and make her shit or get off the pot.

Yup you fucked yourself.

Once she's asking for a relationship you've got her where you want her. You don't need to play games trying to be "Alpha". If she has any self respect for herself she's gonna leave.

Now she's pissed because she wanted you and you played games with her. You begging her to come back and professing your love to her now will just seem phony as a way to reel her back in. She's at a point now where she associates you with pain. Which sucks because you had her all over you and you didn't go for the relationship right there.

I agree you need to get her off your mind and date other women. The only chance of reeling her back in is if she sees you happy with other women, gets jealous and starts to check up on you again.

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Just talk to her, ask where you guys stand.
Dating other women to try to make her jealous is a bad way as it can also confirm her you arn't BF-material after all.. and or you are just playing her. It was confirm things in both ways (jealously, or the bias that was/is there). "She started accusing me of having several girlfriends - I didn't during our engagement" Seems like an important statement, did you convince her you did not?

Tbh I think not given her the title but acting like GF/BF for 7 months is just totally retarded. Don't give me the crap of I just came out of a relationship of 2 years blablabla ... If you act like it anyway, grow some balls and admit it. It aint because you say you are my GF that your world will collapse.

Women acting irritational has got nothing to do with the age, just with the fact that it is a women, drifted by emotions <=> rationality.

Thanks guys for the great advice.

But I think I agree. I did fuck it up by being selfish and making her go at my pace. I feel like our rapport is going to shit with all the arguments - I notice that she lost respect for me while I keep persisting to try and make things work. She throws fits once in a while and plays childish little mind games now. Things used to be awesomely GREAT and drama free and now it seems like all it is is drama. Her associating me with pain is definately a factor and I feel this - because I made her wait for so long, I think that she's got a subconscious grudge against me.

Being gone through past relationships, this pattern tells me that things will keep going downhill unless I break free. I'm thinking of an exit plan in case things keep going downhill. Live and learn I guess!