The day I was disgusted, and the fear of admitting to myself, and posting on this forum went away, was today. Hi, I’m 23, turning 24 soon, and I am an AFC (for now). The fear of taking this journey, failing, and being rejected has been far greater than the excitement of winning, but those days are long gone. I am utterly disgusted with my lack of action, lack of choices, freedom, fear, and lack of drive. I’ve been simply ‘ok’ with being ordinary because that’s comfortable, and very easy to do. I wanted to start this blog almost a year ago, but lost interest due to not wanting to be judged, fear of actually updating with set goals, and fear of not following through.. Stupid me

Last week that straw broke the camels back happened. I was dating a decent looking HB for about three months, and caught her in the arms of another guy after we decided to keep it casual. Although she has every right to be with anyone else (we both did) I began to feel the AFC in me creep up, thinking “what if she likes this guy more than me” “what if we stop talking, and I don’t get laid anymore” etc. Over the course of the past two weeks I found myself being super needy, super clingy, and just not myself. The thing that attracted her towards me was slowly fading away, I felt it, and didn’t like it one bit. This HB isn’t super hot, she’s a solid 6, I’m not in love with her, nor is she in love with me. So I knew I was in trouble when I felt “feelings” for her out of nowhere. After our last conversation, I told her I needed space and 10 minutes after the conversation ended, I began a self-reflection and came to the conclusion that what I felt wasn’t feelings of attraction for her; it was pain. It was painful for me to see her with someone else, and that was a bigger indicator that I need to get my life straight, and expand my social circle and social skills.

I am not terrible with people, I can actually hold a conversation, but the thought of cold approaching, and attracting females is scary to me. Sometimes when I was a kid, I must’ve picked up the idea that most women like nice guys, and I found myself consistently trying to be liked. Truth be told, I want to win, I can care less about being liked these days. Improving my social circle and social skills are part of what I’ve been doing with my life recently, and the desire to win is getting stronger and stronger.

Before HB came into my life I was in a very good place with very good momentum. I was getting back into shape, and since day 1 I was hesitant to get into a relationship, thinking (I was right) that a relationship would take focus off of my journey of self-development. So, I am continuing my journey of improving my overall quality of life (finances, health, style, spirituality, friends, having options with girls, etc) and have a journal in the process. This journal is meant to keep me inspired, get feedback on nights/days out, and possibly meet up with people I can call friends outside of the community along with in the community.

Unlike most people, I do not inspire to fuck 20 girls at one time. My main goal is to improve myself, conquer my fear of interacting with random strangers, master multiple parts of my life so that when I look back, I can say to myself “I did something!” of course I’d like to date multiple girls simply to weed out the ones that I do not get along with, and be with the ones that makes my life better, and hopefully I can do the same for them.

I am a few months into my self-development, and I truly believe that we all have our own individual journeys, and women are allowed in mine. I am not conceited; I just have a bigger purpose in life that means more to me sometimes than anything else. However, I haven’t fully accepted the this idea, and sometimes place the role of women in my life a bit too high; this comes from the lack of options, of course.



What are my goals?

I actually prefer day game a little more as oppose to night game. I am not heavy into drinking, and get turned off when a female is full blown wasted and can’t even formulate a thought.

Next three months: conquer AA, #close 10 HB’s (this # can/will go up), start to feel entitled again, flatten out my stomach (I have about 8-10lbs to go, make more friends and look forward to going out even if it’s all by myself.

Next 6 months: date 3-5 HB’s, and keep the rotation going if anyone of them isn’t to my liking, and if they do not bring any value to my life, get a 6 pack (this is for me, not for girls), expand my social circle of new good friends (5-10 people) that I can chill with on a Tuesday night cause we’re cool like that

One year: before starting this initial journal, my goal was to keep it going for 1 year. By this time, I want to start narrowing down the HB’s I am dating, and commit to one (and of course this can change). I actually prefer dating 1 special girl at 1 time, the sex is better, my life feels fuller and richer, and, imo, it’s never a bad thing knowing there is at least one person out there that really likes/appreciate you after knowing everything about you. For this to happen, I need/want to conquer my insecurities, expand my social circle, handle my finances, and get ready to take life by the horns and take control.


Goals for the month:
• Join Toastmasters. This will help me in my professional (almost done with school) and PU career. I don’t hate public speaking, but I am not a natural at it, and I never took the time to learn any technique, so why not start now. I have my first TM meeting tomorrow, looking forward to it
• Finish the newbie mission of approaching random girls during the day and night
o For day game I am planning on going out Saturday, and be in the field for an hour before work. I think opening with a simple hi will do the trick for now, and with proper warm up I am planning on extending the conversation and go for a number close. I am on a mission boyee!!
o For night game “hi, who are you” should be enough. Night game is happening Friday. Kind of nervous about this, but I am planning on doing a nice warm-up before beginning the actual session. I am feeling nervous as I type this haha, that’s a good sign?
• Apply strict no contact with HB I just broke up with, should be hard for the first few days, but after a week or so I should be good to go.
o Suggestions? Haha
• Learn to press on when the going gets tough, being mentally stronger is one of my bigger goals so this is a MUST
• Finish school, and utilize the month off very well to improving myself.


With that being said, I live in the Bay Area, the greatest place on earth imo haha, and for anyone reading this in the Bay contact me so we can help each other out. I am looking for support to get started, I know when I pick up moment everything will be easier. Thanks for reading if you took the time.

You sound like youre focused. Study your canned openers, patterns, etc and you should be fine. Remember number closes mean nothing, kiss closes mean even less, so you must transition to your house or hers to seal the deal.

After going out two nights alone in a row, I decided to join my friend and the people she was with last night. It felt pretty comfortable having at least one person that you know there; it’s a jungle out there, haha. I got to the club before my friend arrived, I think I might have been the first one there since I was on the wait list and wanted to game a bit early. The hired guns were busy so I just made eye contact with them and just smiled. There was a bartender with pink hair so I opened with “I like your hair” and had a decent warm up chat with her. She was cute, HB7 imo.

Shortly after my friend arrived. And this is where it kind of went down hill a bit. The club still wasn’t packed yet, so I was mainly conversing with my friend to warm up (maybe I should’ve just dove in). The next 30 minutes were more of the same. I began to get into my head and the conversation with my friend was a bit more comfortable than to approach strangers, warm-up and possibly get rejected. I think I was scared to look foolish in front of the people she was with, and since the club wasn’t packed that also scared me as well. Again, I got in my head, and that wasn’t a good place to be. Before midnight hit, we decided to move to another club, and on the way to the there I was just thinking “make the very first approach,” and go from there and have fun.

We arrived at the new club around 12:10, and as soon as I walk in, I made eye contact with this tall (she was about 5’9 with heels) HB7 and before letting my head take over I opened with

“Who are you!”
Her: hi, I’m (her name)
Me: pleasure, I’m glasses. How’s your night
Her: so-so

We conversed for another 3-4 minutes, and I was on my way. I didn’t want to escalate this set; I was really looking for a warm-up and the adrenaline rush. Less than 2 minutes later, I approach the very next girl that I saw with the same opener

Me: Who are you!
Her: who are you! Lol, I didn’t expect that reply tbh
Me: I’m glasses, what’s your name

Before she said her name, her cock block friend came over and took her away and went I went onto the dance floor for a few minutes because I was feeling good now. About 5-7 minutes on the dance floor, I had the urge to approach again, and we were nearing 1:00AM. Since the “who are you” opener was working, I thought why change any thing.

I found two HBs sitting down on a couch, HB6 and HB7. HB7 was the hotter one, she had this round face with red lipstick on, and blonde hair that just complimented her overall frame, she was quite gorgeous but drunk. I went up to HB7, with “who are you” she said her name, and HB6 (much less drunk, and it turns out she works at the club as a bottle service girl) chimes in saying “what?” and I replied to her “who are you”

Her: my name is so-so
Me: I’m glasses, what’s that on your face (paint on her face that made her look like a kitty, it was an animal theme night at this club)
Her: I work her so I have to this on
Me: that’s awful, but hey, at least it looks good on you.
Her: aw thank you.

At this point, being the amateur that I am did not escalate. She began trying to sell me a table for next time when I started inquiring about the busy nights that this club has. I tend to do this when I run out of things to say, or don’t want to be blunt. I also just ignored HB7 because I was happy opening and having a conversation. I know this is my first week back, but I should be trying to escalate just a little bit.


I exit the set, go back to the dance floor, and run into the tall HB from earlier. I danced with for about 2 songs, had my hands on her hips, and was trying to pull her in, but she wasn’t having it. Tips for simple dance floor game?



I approached three more chicks with the “who are you” opener, they all failed. One due to a cock block who didn’t even let me get started, ok dude have fun. The other HB turned out to be engaged, tipsy and wasn’t in the mood for a conversation, whatever, moving on. And the third failed because I couldn’t hold her attention, tipsy chicks are hard to maintain.



Around 1:45AM I went outside, and I noticed this HB7 from earlier on the dance floor. I was trying to make eye contact with her from the beginning, but she seemed shy and gave off a bitchy vibe. My friend was with me, she said go talk to her, and without any thought (nice) I went in. She had a flower design on her face so opening her was easy.

Me: what is that on your face?
Her: oh, it’s just paint design that I got from inside
Me: it looks nice; let me see the whole thing
Me: aw man, it makes you look even more beautiful
Her: thank you

Again, the problem was escalation and lack of kino. My transition from my opener is usually interview style questions, and that gets me nowhere. I need to be in the there with a purpose, go throw by through away sets and get in the right frame right from the get go. The late start didn’t help, but I think I made up for it by approaching what turned out to be 8 sets including the bartender from earlier. Of the 8 most were failures, but I was able to hold a decent conversation from a few. I think I might just have to incorporate some canned materials/techniques for now just to get my game to the next level.




Questions:
Is it the transition that doesn’t allow me to escalate?
Is it my opener?
Should I just be blunt and say you’re fucking hot, and se the right tone?
Basic dance floor tips would be nice as well

hey thanks for the read and the reply. i've read plenty of field reports on here, and you seems to be right. N-close/K-close are just whatever to most of these girls. i need to study more canned materials. any suggestions?

Quick update on where things are

I went out for night game two times last week, and i've gotten a lot better with my approach anxiety and being in my head. I think one of my biggest issues is over loading my brain on materials (RSD, Sasha, James Marshall, etc) and consistently thinking ahead and not focusing on the present moment. I feel like this occurs more during night game as oppose to day game. I find night game a bit more intimidating due still have fear of approaching multi person sets. Day game I am getting to the point of approaching single sets with ease, and holding a decent conversation.


I am not a big fan of night game anyways, and I feel like I am forcing myself to go out whenever I do. In addition, I sarge w/o alcohol and that gets me in my head a bit too much sometimes as well. Looking forward, I am going to continue to sarge at night (at least once a week) but make day game my main goal. I think making day game just a part of my life style is a lot easier, requires let's of mental amp up (I get into state after a few throw away sets), and I get to avoid drunk chicks that are annoying as hell to talk to sometimes.


I numbered closed an HB7 yesterday after using a situational opener. And i N-closed an HB6 earlier today with a simple hi.


looking forward to doing more day game, being a lot more direct and looking to add some kino in there. N-closing isn't something to brag about, especially since they can be fake, but it boosts my confidence up a ton, and keeps me motivated to continue improving.

Update:

I've not done any night game for about 10-12 days now, I am having more fun and success doing day game; there is 0 competition, and your time isn't wasted. The key thing that I have implemented in my day is to not have set days to approach during the day. I run my errands/business and I open almost anyone that I want to speak to. This has placed me in a great mind set where I am accomplishing two things at one time. On an average day, I open anywhere from 5-8 sets (lone sets for now) and I am N-closing at least 1-2.

Yesterday was one of my better days for approaching. I opened 3 sets, and N-closed all three. 1 HB 5, and 2 HB 6s. I know N-closing don't mean a whole lot, but I am giving myself some props for being able to consistently suppress my AA, and take the very first step. It is getting "easier" to ignore the voice in my head that always questions what to say, how to say it, etc.


My go to opener has been Hi, my name is Glasses, who are you or Hi, I know this is a bit random, but you're super cute, I just had to say hi and both of these pretty much works to open the conversation. My follow up is usually What are you up to today to get her talking a bit more. My goals for this week is to be a bit more direct with women, tell them how I feel via verbally and my body (basically to show my intent to want to get sexual).


From last week I N-closed two HBs and both didn't respond. I either didn't escalate properly, or it was fake numbers or it could be both. Moving on though

Update:


It’s only been a little over three weeks since I began this blog, but I already feel a lot better about where I am at in my progress. I set out a goal to number close 10 HB’s and I’ve gotten close to that (N-closed 6). I’ve approached close to 60 women over the past three weeks (averaging about 3 a day, some days I only approach 1-2, and others it can be 5-8).

My AA is almost completely gone because I am very aware of the regret I get when I don’t approach. So it’s almost a competition with myself. There is no such thing as rejection, I truly believe that now, only lessons. I still have some butterflies, but I welcome those because it’s a sign of growth.

I went on one date with an HB 5, and next week I’m planning a day 2. If day 2 doesn’t go as planned then I’ll be nexting her.

On a side note, the reason I think I got flakes was because I didn’t create enough attraction (if any) and give HBs reason(s) to answer my text. So the month of June is strictly going to be focused on creating attraction and decrease the numbers of flakes. With AA being in the rear view mirror, the next improvement in game is to get comfortable speaking with HBs 5-7s, create attraction, and get more day 2 and 3.


With my last 2 classes of school coming up, I’ll have to capitalize on every opportunity I get when I see an HB that appears remotely attractive. No time to waste. The game is finally getting exciting when you know wtf you’re doing, and not afraid to be judged or rejected.


Goals for June:
1. Approach 6-10 HBs a day and at least ONE 2 set
2. Create attraction and get 3-5 day 2 and day 3
3. Focus on school just as much as game
4. Hit the gym 4 out of 7 days a week
5. Meditate

Falling Into Loops


It seems like i have a natural tendency to fall into spiral of emotions sometimes weeks at a time. The last 10-12 days has not been my best when it comes to sarging during the day or night. i've had no more than 3 sarging sessions in which i've gotten two flakes, one date that didn't go to day 3 due to not being on the same page in terms of what we want. It might have been about 2 weeks ago when i got high and went out to a lounge around midnight. I picked up smoking again after about two months so being in public was a bit more harder than i anticipated.

I saw a group of two HBs and failed to approach them, and pretty much the rest of the night. Breaking my cycle of approaching and opening up women turned out more devastating than i had first realized. It's way too easy to say "i'll just get the next one" when you chicken out. But the lack of taking action sticks in your brain and spirals into your next opportunity especially being a beginner. So since that day I was in a negative loop of being in my head, not approaching most women i want and getting better. It's no excuses, other than i've been a little bitch lately seeking validation from women in my head before even approaching.

However, recently I've been applying the Fuck It method in almost all areas of my life. Fuck it, let's just w/o and complain later, fuck it, let's approach this HB and look stupid if i have to, fuck it, let's just get up and start walking. This method, honestly, if you give it time i think can do wonders for you. It consistently requires action and makes you feel good about yourself when you do.

Then came the free gift. I was heading into a local retail store, and notice an HB 8 driving in. Man was she hot even threw the car. I went inside to the pharmacy, and she followed a few minutes later. I love fit women with style, and she had both. I began to be in my head thinking of how to open when she was in line. Finally i was done, she was still speaking and I went outside to go to my car, went back in brought something and i as i was finishing paying she was walking out. Fuck it and i went up to her You know it would be rude if i didn't say hi to you, you are gorgeous


and she really was. A perfect 8 imo, lightly touched with make-up, nails painted pink wearing a black shirt, and grey jeans that kissed her body like a glove.


Her: really? she broke into a smike
Me: yea, i would've been mad at myself had i not said something to you

she was very interested, offered her name, we shook hands and she squeezed mine.

this is the about the moment when i "feel" like women are being fake to me. It's an insecurity issues where i think A) either i am not doing as well as i think i am or B) she's just being nice until i go away. Hopefully more referecne experience will help alleviate this insecurity.

Her: thank you, are you middle eastern? she was showing plenty of IOI
Me: haha, close, we're cousins. You got one more guess


we played along had a very nice, casual, conversation about her and I. She's the same age as me and was very easy to make her smile. This was my best approach since i got back into the game and it was a gift i'll accept any time in order to get a confidence boost, and start a positive emotional spiral.

Unexpected, but accepted none the less


after what turned out to be (at the time) my best approach to one of the hottest females around, i got an invite to hang out with friends in an area i am very unfamiliar with. I was on board for anything. I make it to the spot around 10:30, my friends and i grab a bite to eat, shoot the shit and decided to head over to bars. My friends aren't into game per se, but they can hold their own when it comes to talking to females, and i am glad they can because one of them was my wing throughout the night.

i dont generally drink when i sarge at night (makes it more of a challenge) but i was out with my boys so we got the night started with shots, and we soon followed that up with one more about 20 minutes later. I was good for the night. Between my two shots i crashed and burned my first set, opened one more just to take action and i felt my state rising. Night game can be beautiful when you know what your sticking point is, and how to get over it. My biggest obstacle in game has been to warm up properly, and i often allow lack of warming up to ruin my nights. Not recently though. I've been emphasizing the warm up and the results show through being in a good state.


3 more sets later, i feel really good and then i made a rookie mistake with what might have been the hottest girl at the bar. She seemed like the model kind with fake tits, but gorgeous eyes. I opened her on the dance floor verbally rather then dance for a few minutes and get into the flow with her. My NG isn't is rusty. The set blew up within seconds, and i was on my way to the next one.


i went outside to take a breahther, and on my way back i heard an HB tell her friend "i just want to have a heart attack." By now, my inner PUA is getting trained to recognize any/all opportunities to open, and this one just fell in my lap.

me: What? why would you wanan do that?

her friend said i was cute right after i opened them (drunk chicks) i was in. We chatted for a few minutes, i tried to kiss close the girl that said she wants to have a heart attack, but failed. I got her number, so we;ll see where that goes



around 2AM, i was ready to call it a night but i was feeling good about the night, an myself so i had to open up one more set. I got my friend for this one. I saw two HBs walking towards us, and in the middel of the street i stopped the one closest to me (better looking) and just said hi. this chick is in her mid 30s, was being ver hesitant to speak to me and open up. Turns out the other chick was her sister, so im assuming she didn't wanna come off as a slut. My friend and i spoke with them for about 20 minutes, and i ended up kiss closing the HB, but she didn't want to give me her number. I ended up giving her mines, and told her to call me when she feels ready. If she doesnt, no big deal




it's unbelievable how warming up can drastically improve your over all game. I am generally a slow starter so for someone like me warming up is essential. last night was very unexpected becuase i barely do any NG, but it was good to be out again.