Today I was going out with my friend to the bars. He offered to drive so I was drinking a couple of beers. I drank enough beers to get buzzed mainly to forget about my problems since I almost got a gf three times[/i][/b] including this girl that I was dating for a month yet the rug gets pulled under me the last minute and it never ends up happening for whatever reason. I've been depressed over three rejections in a row for a couple of days now mainly because it's hard for me to accept getting rejected without feeling down on myself.

Anyway my friend today after we went out called me out and told me a lot of things on how I am not putting in enough work to make this happen. He asked me how many times I go out a week and I told him zero since I only have been going out occasionally since I don't have much time having two jobs and I only am motivated to go out (despite how tired I am) if there's a guarantee or a high chance of meeting girls who would give me a chance. It's not my thing really to go out and waste my time, gas, and money going there if i'm not even sure that a girl I meet will give me a chance if I go out cold turkey not knowing anybody in that bar or club.

He also said that i'm too negative because today... he noticed that when he told me to talk to this really hot Latina girl tonight I backed out because I knew she wouldn't give me a chance since the type of crew she hangs out with look like Latino gangsters. The problem is I don't mean to be negative.... I just mean to think realistically but he is getting on my case because he said that this is the wrong mindset to have.

Overall he is saying i'm lazy when it comes to this, I don't want to put in the work, and I want the easy way out of having a girlfriend (which is meeting girls through friends). He thinks that I don't make enough effort to make this happen because I don't like wasting my time going to clubs or bars if I don't know anybody and there's a slim chance that any girl there will give me a chance because from what I see.... clubs or bars are very cliquish and most girls there keep to themselves or their crew

I admit I didn't really talk to any girls tonight because i'm still pretty sad over the girl I was dating only deciding to be friends since she lacks the time to be more than that despite how much she wants to do it


Honestly... What do you guys think? Do you agree with him that i'm not putting in enough effort to make this happen despite wanting to get with girls or do you agree with me not to waste your time going to clubs or bars unless you have a high chance or a guarantee of hooking up with a girl?

I didnt even read the whole post and I can already detect a whole bunch of mistakes.

1. You have the complete wrong mindset! You behave like an unworthy guy who does not deserve the best of the best women out there. Dude! You DO! Its your birthright! You have loads and loads of limiting believes my friend.
I would recommend you to work on your inner game first before actually thinking about getting a girlfriend. Focus on having fun! Do it for yourself and not for any girl! How can a girl love you if you dont even love yourself?

2. Obviously hot girls wont knock on your door and drop their panties. I mean your friend is right at this point. You need to go out more often. Having 2 jobs is rough i guess. But try to go out at least on the weekend. Thats enough for the beginning.

Well I have fun in my life and everything is going just fine except my love life with the ladies. Girls are pretty much the only thing in my life that i'm missing since I got everything else under control.

So I should still go out even if i'm not guaranteed to really make any connections with any girls out there? Reason i'm asking this is because I have two jobs and i'm tired as hell after work is done so I really... REALLY.... want to make the times I go out worth it if i'm sacrificing being this exhausted to go out

You have to become free from the outcome. Dont go out with any firm plan or goal. Thats what i mean. Dont focus on the outcome. You go out to have fun and meet some girls. If there is a girl who likes you : Great! If not: Great too! You get what im saying? Thats whats pulling you down so much. You be like "Oh today I go out so I NEED to find a nice girl" And if you dont you become depressed.

Yeah I totally get that but the problem is.... I don't even get that far when meeting girls in these bars or clubs. Most of them either ignore me or say a few words to me then walk away. Which is why i'm wondering if it's worth my time to keep on going. Doesn't surprise me though because whenever I go out, most girls in bars or clubs are extremely cliquish and they only like talking to people in their group. Especially that these girls ignoring me or blowing me off and not even giving me a chance to talk depresses me.

This is why I wanted to just wait till I make friends who can introduce me to girls they know and I can invite them to go out clubbing and get some drinks from there. At least i'd get a chance to make any sort of connection with them whether it be friend, acquaintance, lover, etc.

The title of your post already says you're not ready for one.
Work on improving YOURSELF. This doesn't just mean game.
Focus on the journey, not the outcome

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The title says i'm not ready for one if my friend is the one that thinks i'm not working hard enough and i'm being lazy at this when it comes to finding opportunities to meet girls and find potential girlfriends?

I totally get the part about working on my inner game though

Why are girls ignoring you? Here are the three most common reasons why girls ignore guys in general (not you in person, even if I use the word "you" below):

1. You make it obvious to everyone that you are looking for something, that you want to make contact, as if you are needy. That makes them think that you want something from them, as opposed to give something (value). All it takes to give people this impression is to stand in one spot and stare at them with a longing look in your eyes.

2. You wear clothes that are different to the girl's group, and you act and talk differently. With other words, you don't build rapport, and you are not "one of them". They are not comfortable around you.

3. You are a try-hard (related to 1). Just your mere approach (if it's direct) is enough to look like a try-hard.

That's why it's important to dress appropriately to the venu you are visiting and trying to blend in. It's also important to have the right mindset, not trying too hard, not approaching directly. Instead, be open and social, mingle around and talk to people, ALL people. When you initiate a conversation, make sure not to be intrusive. For instance, don't walk up to a girl, instead stay at the same spot and talk loud enough for her to hear you as she walks by (or whatever she is doing).

It seems to me that the girls in these bars or clubs are really self centered and self absorbed. They're pretty stuck up to guys that they do not know. I'm pretty social with about anyone in these places and the only ones that seem to have lengthy conversations with me are dudes. most girls in these places either dont talk to me or they say a couple of words to me then go back to their group of friends. There were a few times that I almost got lucky with a girl showing interest in me but her friend pulled her away (this is pretty common around here)

I dont know.... maybe there's just something in the water with these girls here in San Francisco that make them stuck up. I do fine for myself in socializing and talking to girls outside of bars or clubs. I just can't get it done there because it doesnt even seem like they wanna give me a chance to bat...

Some of my other friends even feel bad for me because they think I have a ton of potential in getting with girls but they see the same thing I am that i'm just not in the right place at the right time to make moves with girls.