hi,

i really struggle with escalation... recently a girl said that she thought i was shy, but im the totally opposite...talking a lot, kino, having fun..so im not unsocial... so shy would be the wrong therm..

my sticking point is that, i really dont know how to go further and make it happen to make out easily when she already gives IOI`s...I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT

i get girls when im drunk, because than I dont care and im dancing and escalating..but when im sober i dont go dancing, because i think im a terrible dancer and dont feel comfortable...

when i get the IOI`s i get confused of how to react best, because i dont wanna go on the offensive when im not sure if she is just friendly or not....

do you guys have some tips of maybe how to find out if she is interested or just friendly and go for KC....

in my experience when she shows a lot of interest and you than give the interest back, she will at some point dont give the interest back and i dont know how to handle that situation...

You're scared of rejection. If you're that scared , take baby steps towards a kiss. In this order:

1) High five greet or shake hands
2) Pull her towards you if you're on the dancefloor or kiss the back of her hand (might sound weird but I've had good success with it)
3) In Europe you can do bizoux kisses straight away
4) Heavy eye contact throughout
5) Get her grinding up against you with your arms around her waist
6) Look at her eyes and mouth a lot. By this time, the kiss will feel very natural to her.

Then build up enough rapport and comfort until she is willing to come home with you or meet for a Day 2

You have confidence issues and rely on alcohol to excuse yourself for going out of your comfort zone. You do this so you can blame the alcohol if you get rejected. You have a huge fear of rejection and because of it you are shy. Just because you're outgoing when you're drunk doesn't make you an outgoing person. It makes you a drunk.

So, your sticking point is more "I suffer from confidence issues and drink in order to make up for it." Not "I don't know how to go for the kiss." because you obviously do if you're kissing girls when you're drunk.

Sort out your fear of rejection, realise it's not a bad thing if you get turned down. It sucks but it's nothing personal. Work on that.

However, it does help if you have guidelines to follow to make progress while you tackle your inner issues.

Good points by hunter but he's wrong about #3. We only kiss on the cheek in greeting or if we're introduced to someone else(woman) and even at that it's all down to how you are. It's considered good manners/gentleman-like to greet a woman with a kiss on the cheek and an extended hand to hold while you do this(No shaking, just outstretched, holding the hand, kiss on the cheek then release) but many guys do not do it unless they're French. In clubs we don't kiss women in greeting unless they're friends of friends we're introduced to.

Personally i'm a huge advocate of "Phaseshifting." Just grow a pair of balls, realise you just have to make a move and stick with your method of closing a girl. For me it's just being extremely direct, expressing an interest in her then telling her to kiss me. "Come here*Beckons closer*... You're cute. Give me a kiss." then keep her interest spiked, get her wet(Kissing and neck biting) and then invite her back to yours if she's up for it. If not go for a day 2, repeat the lead up to asking her back then go back to yours or hers.