Did I make a major mistake here or is this her fault?



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:06 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
ARGVHGHGHGHGHHG

SHE ISN'T BEING DISRESPECTFUL!!! As another user posted she's being respectful by apologizing to you when you're the one being emotionally sensitive.

The fact that you've asked us if you should dump her because of her attitude towards you is just weird. It's like you're placing your emotional neediness to constantly be respected (yet again she's NOT disrespecting you anyway) so high that you can't even take a joke.

I can 100% promise you that if you keep reacting to her behavior with comments about her behavior then you will lose her or she'll start cheating on your or something.

Yet again just like everything else in PUA if she is JOKING (which she is) and YOU find it disrespectful then its YOUR fault.

I use to have a mate exactly like you. I come from a city where BANTER is the norm. I grew up being called a dickhead, twat, cunt, bellend, useless lil shithead everyday. At one point I took it personally but as I grew older...as long as you're someone I know is a friend or interested in me blahblahblah. What you say doesn't matter.

If by the end of the day you end up buying me a beer then what you said during the day = Doesn't matter to me.

If by the end of the day you've got a girl in your bed getting pounded and taking it like a good girl = Doesn't matter what's she said to me during the day.

What a girl says and does are too completely different things. Take what she says and respond to it like she's your annoying little sister. Take what she does and turn it into something sexual.

This is how men get women to insert objects into their arses and walk about with them in there all day.

I don't agree. Different people have different expectations and standards of conduct, were raised differently and have had different experiences. Neither Heavylifter nor his gf are "wrong", they just have different, conflicting styles of interaction. Trust me, there are women out there who have a personality and style that is more what you're looking for. OP's current GF might not always be deliberately "disrespecting" him, but based on some of the examples it clearly is deliberate (i.e. she knows it pisses him off and does it, or does things to make him jealous). A lot of women are like this. Whether that's good or bad or not really a problem really just depends on your POV.

You're correct: what a woman says and does are different things - but some people have a lower tolerance for BS from either gender, and some of what he's dealing with he shouldn't necessarily have to if he feels that's not what he wants out of woman. This is why I've recommended he date older, more mature women who tend to be more well-mannered than college-aged women. Some people just communicate differently and don't have the tolerance for games, pointed comments and attempts at stoking jealousy. Some can handle it. Some like it. They're all valid, but this is why not every woman is right for every guy. Bitmixit seems like a guy who grew up differently, has a different personality and is used to different things. That's fine too. As such, he can probably handle a girl like OP's gf much more easily, but he might not have tolerance for women with personalities Heavylifter might love.

I agree, OP could probably stand to let things roll off his shoulders a little more, but if he genuinely doesn't like dealing with someone with a more aggressive personality, it's not his personality defect, it's just how he is. All women aren't like that, and he should seek out someone more mellow in the future. No need to tell him to change his personality completely to deal with one bitchy chick and accuse him of being "insecure" or "too sensitive". Just be yourself, there are plenty of fish out there.


Last edited by JakeP on Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:08 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
ARGVHGHGHGHGHHG

SHE ISN'T BEING DISRESPECTFUL!!! As another user posted she's being respectful by apologizing to you when you're the one being emotionally sensitive.

The fact that you've asked us if you should dump her because of her attitude towards you is just weird. It's like you're placing your emotional neediness to constantly be respected (yet again she's NOT disrespecting you anyway) so high that you can't even take a joke.

I can 100% promise you that if you keep reacting to her behavior with comments about her behavior then you will lose her or she'll start cheating on your or something.

Yet again just like everything else in PUA if she is JOKING (which she is) and YOU find it disrespectful then its YOUR fault.

I use to have a mate exactly like you. I come from a city where BANTER is the norm. I grew up being called a dickhead, twat, cunt, bellend, useless lil shithead everyday. At one point I took it personally but as I grew older...as long as you're someone I know is a friend or interested in me blahblahblah. What you say doesn't matter.

If by the end of the day you end up buying me a beer then what you said during the day = Doesn't matter to me.

If by the end of the day you've got a girl in your bed getting pounded and taking it like a good girl = Doesn't matter what's she said to me during the day.

What a girl says and does are too completely different things. Take what she says and respond to it like she's your annoying little sister. Take what she does and turn it into something sexual.

This is how men get women to insert objects into their arses and walk about with them in there all day.
Will do.

She will think I am an asshole and leave me right


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:14 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
Can't say for sure since I am not there, but based on some of your examples, I'd say at times she is.
It may be because she has some kind of insecurity about your relationship or herself and is acting out. Maybe she secretly wants a bad boy and is trying to get you angry to see if you'll get a little rough with her, verbally or otherwise (and she'll like it). Maybe she's thinking about breaking up with you. Maybe her friend or friends don't like you for whatever stupid reason, but she does, hence the erratic patterns of respect/disrespect.

I think she does sometimes. There is definitely a reason behind it. At times it just might be her childishness, and at times it might be more deliberate, as in bitchiness or a shit test.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:14 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
ARGVHGHGHGHGHHG

SHE ISN'T BEING DISRESPECTFUL!!! As another user posted she's being respectful by apologizing to you when you're the one being emotionally sensitive.

The fact that you've asked us if you should dump her because of her attitude towards you is just weird. It's like you're placing your emotional neediness to constantly be respected (yet again she's NOT disrespecting you anyway) so high that you can't even take a joke.

I can 100% promise you that if you keep reacting to her behavior with comments about her behavior then you will lose her or she'll start cheating on your or something.

Yet again just like everything else in PUA if she is JOKING (which she is) and YOU find it disrespectful then its YOUR fault.

I use to have a mate exactly like you. I come from a city where BANTER is the norm. I grew up being called a dickhead, twat, cunt, bellend, useless lil shithead everyday. At one point I took it personally but as I grew older...as long as you're someone I know is a friend or interested in me blahblahblah. What you say doesn't matter.

If by the end of the day you end up buying me a beer then what you said during the day = Doesn't matter to me.

If by the end of the day you've got a girl in your bed getting pounded and taking it like a good girl = Doesn't matter what's she said to me during the day.

What a girl says and does are too completely different things. Take what she says and respond to it like she's your annoying little sister. Take what she does and turn it into something sexual.

This is how men get women to insert objects into their arses and walk about with them in there all day.

I don't agree. Different people have different expectations and standards of conduct, were raised differently and have had different experiences. Neither Heavylifter nor his gf are "wrong", they just have different, conflicting styles of interaction. Trust me, there are women out there who have a personality and style that is more what you're looking for. OP's current GF might not always be deliberately "disrespecting" him, but based on some of the examples it clearly is deliberate (i.e. she knows it pisses him off and does it, or does things to make him jealous). A lot of women are like this. Whether that's good or bad or not really a problem really just depends on your POV.

You're correct: what a woman says and does are different things - but some people have a lower tolerance for BS from either gender, and some of what he's dealing with he shouldn't necessarily have to if he feels that's not what he wants out of woman. This is why I've recommended he date older, more mature women who tend to be more well-mannered than college-aged women. Some people just communicate differently and don't have the tolerance for games, pointed comments and attempts at stoking jealousy. Some can handle it. Some like it. They're all valid, but this is why not every woman is right for every guy. Bitmixit seems like a guy who grew up differently, has a different personality and is used to different things. That's fine too. As such, he can probably handle a girl like OP's gf much more easily, but he might not have tolerance for women with personalities Heavylifter might love.

The thing is, she has stopped all the jealousy provoking behavior, as have I. She just makes those jokes now. No more insults either, just those kinda pointed jokes.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:19 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
Can't say for sure since I am not there, but based on some of your examples, I'd say at times she is.
It may be because she has some kind of insecurity about your relationship or herself and is acting out. Maybe she secretly wants a bad boy and is trying to get you angry to see if you'll get a little rough with her, verbally or otherwise (and she'll like it). Maybe she's thinking about breaking up with you. Maybe her friend or friends don't like you for whatever stupid reason, but she does, hence the erratic patterns of respect/disrespect.

I think she does sometimes. There is definitely a reason behind it. At times it just might be her childishness, and at times it might be more deliberate, as in bitchiness or a shit test.

A few things. She says that I don't say thank you when she does things for me (which I don't, I know its bad), or give her compliments, and that I dismiss her at times. She is also freakin insecure about the relationship aka asks things like "are you happy heavylifter?" and during sex she says "you are going to be loyal to me?" ect.......

Another thing: the badboy thing...I shouldn't do that right? I actually pride myself on not getting angry with her because I don't entertain angry arguments. Basicly when she is rude I tell her to speak to me in a calm tone or I'm not having said conversation


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:20 pm 
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The thing is, she has stopped all the jealousy provoking behavior, as have I. She just makes those jokes now. No more insults either, just those kinda pointed jokes.
That's good. Just have a talk with her again about the jokes if that still bothers you, like the talk you had about the jealousy stuff. Might just be a case of her needing to be put in her place by you calmly as you have done. Women are like plants. Some just need more pruning and constant attention to grow the way you want them to.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:23 pm 
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and she freaks when i do anything outside the relationship norm, for instance it gives her anxiety when I don't hang with her for one reason or not, so I would say hell no to the thinking of breaking up thing


thank you guys for all the help by the way I will certainly take the advice from both


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:37 pm 
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Jake i am 25 lol so you are correct im a bit older. I am out of college, she is just finishing up. Ive always been mature for my age, she is oretty damn immature and childish.

Do you think she realizes she is being disrespectful though?
Can't say for sure since I am not there, but based on some of your examples, I'd say at times she is.
It may be because she has some kind of insecurity about your relationship or herself and is acting out. Maybe she secretly wants a bad boy and is trying to get you angry to see if you'll get a little rough with her, verbally or otherwise (and she'll like it). Maybe she's thinking about breaking up with you. Maybe her friend or friends don't like you for whatever stupid reason, but she does, hence the erratic patterns of respect/disrespect.

I think she does sometimes. There is definitely a reason behind it. At times it just might be her childishness, and at times it might be more deliberate, as in bitchiness or a shit test.

A few things. She says that I don't say thank you when she does things for me (which I don't, I know its bad), or give her compliments, and that I dismiss her at times. She is also freakin insecure about the relationship aka asks things like "are you happy heavylifter?" and during sex she says "you are going to be loyal to me?" ect.......

Another thing: the badboy thing...I shouldn't do that right? I actually pride myself on not getting angry with her because I don't entertain angry arguments. Basicly when she is rude I tell her to speak to me in a calm tone or I'm not having said conversation
Re: "badboy behavior"
You should act however you are naturally, when you are calm, happy and in your own element. I'm not saying force yourself to be that way, but that MIGHT be the kind of SPAM she is craving. If so, she might need to get it from someone else. If it feels natural, do it. Don't force yourself to be that way just to keep her.

Sounds like she has a lot of insecurities. Remember, it's a reflection on herself. This is called "projecting" in psychology. I.e. if I (maybe secretly) have binge eating problems, I take it out on friends and acquaintances who don't have those problems like this: I see my friend, who is in shape and doesn't have an eating disorder go for seconds at dinner. I accuse him of eating too much, being a fatass, not caring for himself or his physique etc., Basically, I'm taking internalized negative shame about my own behavior and releasing it on other people who don't deserve it. I'm basically conveying to my roommate, if he is self-assured enough to know that I'm full of BS, that I feel like a fatass who eats too much. As you can see, this doesn't just apply to relationships. You can analyze the behavior of many people like this, if you know you or someone else is being unfairly accused of something or maligned in some way, you'll know it's because the accuse has some kind of hangup about the issue.

She probably has had infidelity issues in the past, or issues with being happy in relationships or your relationships. She's projecting that on to you. Learn to interpret these questions such as "are you being loyal to me?" as statements such as "I have had issues with boyfriends cheating on me or me cheating on boyfriends in the past. It got in my head, and now I am desperately afraid it will happen to me again." Just remember all these questions and accusations are really about her and her issues, not you.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 4:42 pm 
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Can't say for sure since I am not there, but based on some of your examples, I'd say at times she is.
It may be because she has some kind of insecurity about your relationship or herself and is acting out. Maybe she secretly wants a bad boy and is trying to get you angry to see if you'll get a little rough with her, verbally or otherwise (and she'll like it). Maybe she's thinking about breaking up with you. Maybe her friend or friends don't like you for whatever stupid reason, but she does, hence the erratic patterns of respect/disrespect.

I think she does sometimes. There is definitely a reason behind it. At times it just might be her childishness, and at times it might be more deliberate, as in bitchiness or a shit test.[/quote]


A few things. She says that I don't say thank you when she does things for me (which I don't, I know its bad), or give her compliments, and that I dismiss her at times. She is also freakin insecure about the relationship aka asks things like "are you happy heavylifter?" and during sex she says "you are going to be loyal to me?" ect.......

Another thing: the badboy thing...I shouldn't do that right? I actually pride myself on not getting angry with her because I don't entertain angry arguments. Basicly when she is rude I tell her to speak to me in a calm tone or I'm not having said conversation[/quote]

Re: "badboy behavior"
You should act however you are naturally, when you are calm, happy and in your own element. I'm not saying force yourself to be that way, but that MIGHT be the kind of SPAM she is craving. If so, she might need to get it from someone else. If it feels natural, do it. Don't force yourself to be that way just to keep her.

Sounds like she has a lot of insecurities. Remember, it's a reflection on herself. This is called "projecting" in psychology. I.e. if I (maybe secretly) have binge eating problems, I take it out on friends and acquaintances who don't have those problems like this: I see my friend, who is in shape and doesn't have an eating disorder go for seconds at dinner. I accuse him of eating too much, being a fatass, not caring for himself or his physique etc., Basically, I'm taking internalized negative shame about my own behavior and releasing it on other people who don't deserve it. I'm basically conveying to my roommate, if he is self-assured enough to know that I'm full of BS, that I feel like a fatass who eats too much. As you can see, this doesn't just apply to relationships. You can analyze the behavior of many people like this, if you know you or someone else is being unfairly accused of something or maligned in some way, you'll know it's because the accuse has some kind of hangup about the issue.

She probably has had infidelity issues in the past, or issues with being happy in relationships or your relationships. She's projecting that on to you. Learn to interpret these questions such as "are you being loyal to me?" as statements such as "I have had issues with boyfriends cheating on me or me cheating on boyfriends in the past. It got in my head, and now I am desperately afraid it will happen to me again." Just remember all these questions and accusations are really about her and her issues, not you.[/quote]


aren't the facets of badboy behavior that women find attractive:

not putting up with her shit (which I call her out perhaps too much but firmly, not emotionally)
not being needy (she complains I dismiss or don't call her enough as it is)
good in bed
confident


are you saying that she might crave anger? I thought that might lower value a bit, and won't she interpret me calling her out as standing up for myself anyway?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:12 pm 
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JakeP, you're giving bad advice.

What you've done here is made this guy show his girlfriend he's beta as fuck. "I'm too weak to take a joke please stop." Yeah, talking about something stupid that you're not mature enough to handle might stop her behaviour for a short while but it does a lot of damage in the long run. Eventually the girl loses respect, can't have fun, finds you boring, controlling and moves on.

OP, you have inner issues. You need to address them not make a woman stop doing these things just to make you happy. It's a different matter if your gf is hanging out of guys or flirting with them, that's fine. Feel free to be annoyed over that.. but over simple jokes? It's mad, dude. Don't let anyone else tell you to be beta with a chick when it comes to this. You need to be Alpha and being alpha is addressing your own issues head on and fixing them. Your issue here is inner game: Fix that, not alter your girlfriend as a quick fix.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 8:22 pm 
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JakeP, you're giving bad advice.

What you've done here is made this guy show his girlfriend he's beta as fuck. "I'm too weak to take a joke please stop." Yeah, talking about something stupid that you're not mature enough to handle might stop her behaviour for a short while but it does a lot of damage in the long run. Eventually the girl loses respect, can't have fun, finds you boring, controlling and moves on.

OP, you have inner issues. You need to address them not make a woman stop doing these things just to make you happy. It's a different matter if your gf is hanging out of guys or flirting with them, that's fine. Feel free to be annoyed over that.. but over simple jokes? It's mad, dude. Don't let anyone else tell you to be beta with a chick when it comes to this. You need to be Alpha and being alpha is addressing your own issues head on and fixing them. Your issue here is inner game: Fix that, not alter your girlfriend as a quick fix.
This, here is a top quality post. HeavyLifter seriously listen to this dude. Stop trying to find reasons that are her fault for why you feel belittled/disrespected when she pulls a simple joke at you.

You can listen to JakeP and use the "short term" fix on her but in the long run she'll in this order

1) Gets bored
2) Start listening to her friends that your boring and controlling.
3) Start listening to the guys that are telling her to do fun things.
4) You get disrespected by this and get all "going out with other guys is wrong, you're with me!"
5) She fucks other dudes.

You should watch a film called "Ruby Sparks" which is essentially a fairly deep film where the protagonist essentially creates a girl by writing about her. He is able to control every aspect of her including her moods or if she's not being clingy/needy enough when he wants that attention. Essentially he discovers by the end of the film that his own need to have control over what the woman does, says or acts is what has actually destroyed his past relationships and is destroying his relationship with Ruby and thus sets her free of his will and she gains free will. The protagonist then fixes his own issues and effectively immensely improves his own life.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:08 pm 
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The only thing i've done so far is talk to her about insults, and called out a few of her jokes in the past 1.5 months. She has apologized a few times or said it was a joke/sensitive once or twice.

She knows I never care who she goes out with (nor have I ever told her not to do something as far as this goes), when I see her, and that I trust her 100%.

Not to mention, we do still joke around and such, it's not like I'm uber serious all the time!

When we've talked about this, she has said that I say things to her too that could be interpreted how I am, and she brings up other ways she feels disrespected, so it does go both ways and I'm not always just preaching.

I will do as you guys say from now on and ease off


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:29 pm 
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The only thing i've done so far is talk to her about insults, and called out a few of her jokes in the past 1.5 months. She has apologized a few times or said it was a joke/sensitive once or twice.

She knows I never care who she goes out with (nor have I ever told her not to do something as far as this goes), when I see her, and that I trust her 100%.

Not to mention, we do still joke around and such, it's not like I'm uber serious all the time!

When we've talked about this, she has said that I say things to her too that could be interpreted how I am, and she brings up other ways she feels disrespected, so it does go both ways and I'm not always just preaching.

I will do as you guys say from now on and ease off
Sweet. Just have fun with her dude. SO many people perceive relationships as these super serious things that should only happen if you're ready to commit, take it seriously and all that thus why so many relationships fail. It stops being fun.

A woman will pretty much never cheat on a dude if

A) She's getting fucked good.
B) She's having fun within the relationship.
C) There is still a side-order of an emotional roller coaster.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:47 pm 
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The only thing i've done so far is talk to her about insults, and called out a few of her jokes in the past 1.5 months. She has apologized a few times or said it was a joke/sensitive once or twice.

She knows I never care who she goes out with (nor have I ever told her not to do something as far as this goes), when I see her, and that I trust her 100%.

Not to mention, we do still joke around and such, it's not like I'm uber serious all the time!

When we've talked about this, she has said that I say things to her too that could be interpreted how I am, and she brings up other ways she feels disrespected, so it does go both ways and I'm not always just preaching.

I will do as you guys say from now on and ease off

Sweet. Just have fun with her dude. SO many people perceive relationships as these super serious things that should only happen if you're ready to commit, take it seriously and all that thus why so many relationships fail. It stops being fun.

A woman will pretty much never cheat on a dude if

A) She's getting fucked good.
B) She's having fun within the relationship.
C) There is still a side-order of an emotional roller coaster.
A is very true
B when we aren't discussing shit like this (respect on my end: insults......respect on her end: dismissiveness and underappreciated actions) we certainly are
C there certainly is


she just texted me saying "we are going to have a good time tomorrow and she has a use for the testosterone I have built up ;P"


I hope that I haven't gone too far yet, she hasn't really shown any signs of boredom:

calls me alot
responds to everything I send her
sex is still alive and kickin
says we are gonna have a good time
isn't really THAT put off when I have talked to her about these things, and brings up HER respect issues separately from mine, so I'm not coming off as preachy


Thanks for the advice again fellas


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2014 9:56 pm 
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JakeP, you're giving bad advice.

What you've done here is made this guy show his girlfriend he's beta as fuck. "I'm too weak to take a joke please stop." Yeah, talking about something stupid that you're not mature enough to handle might stop her behaviour for a short while but it does a lot of damage in the long run. Eventually the girl loses respect, can't have fun, finds you boring, controlling and moves on.

OP, you have inner issues. You need to address them not make a woman stop doing these things just to make you happy. It's a different matter if your gf is hanging out of guys or flirting with them, that's fine. Feel free to be annoyed over that.. but over simple jokes? It's mad, dude. Don't let anyone else tell you to be beta with a chick when it comes to this. You need to be Alpha and being alpha is addressing your own issues head on and fixing them. Your issue here is inner game: Fix that, not alter your girlfriend as a quick fix.
"I'm too weak to take a joke please stop."

If that's what you've gathered from the advice I've been giving him, you're not paying attention.
I have advised him that this is simply how some women are - and I quote myself: "I agree, OP could probably stand to let things roll off his shoulders a little more, but if he genuinely doesn't like dealing with someone with a more aggressive personality, it's not his personality defect, it's just how he is."
That said, I also in another post, advised him to date more mature women if he's getting tired of excessive joking. The problem with your paradigm, GamesSN, is that you're assuming that the OP should try and handle it as you'd handle it; you're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Some men are better equipped to deal with women like that: you are probably one of them. You are not necessarily not built for "game" if you're not one of those guys, you just might have a different type of woman you're more attracted to. Lots of people simply don't like dealing with immature personalities. You might see the joking it as no big deal - someone like OP might simply see it as annoying - there's no need to "fix your inner game" if this is the case. That's like telling someone who can't get into a certain kind of music (say, Opera) that they need to work on themselves and MAKE themselves like it, as if Opera were the only kind of music available. Instead of forcing yourself to continue to listen to it, why wouldn't you just listen to something you yourself like more? Just as there are many other types of music to listen to that will give you more pleasure, there are many different types of women that will please you more and are more up your alley. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. Applies to women, too. I don't see why you and other posters keep trying to force him to stay in a relationship if he's been in it for two years and isn't happy with something as fundamental as his partner's temperament. He's not going to change her What it comes down to, if he is to stay in this relationship is altering his behavior to induce a change in her behavior, not forcing himself to change to put up with a personality he doesn't like. That is what is "beta": changing yourself for a particular woman. She should be a guest in your reality, not vice-versa.


Not only that, but since I don't know OP personally, I have also suggested that maybe another possible approach for him would be this, which as you can see is far from suggesting he act like a "beta", as you call it, but that he simply stop investing so much emotional energy into her - instead of telling him to change his personality traits that seem perfectly reasonable (i.e. not wanting to put up with what many people, not just OP would describe as immature behavior), I've told him how he could handle it in a way that involves changing his behavior with regards to her without tearing him down and telling him he needs to change his personality:

"3.) You realize you don't want to give her up for the sex or for other reasons just yet. You stop giving a shit. You realize she's not "the one". You know it all ultimately doesn't matter, because she'll wind up just another notch on your bedpost. You give her shit right back when she gives you shit, but it's in an assertive, almost deadpan fashion because you genuinely don't care that much about her or her acting like a shithead anymore. She picks up on this, realizes you're in charge and backs off. The sex gets better. She gets quieter and is happier with you. She's raw clay in your hands. You now have all the power. You've given up trying to tame her and simply focus on your own happiness and maintaining your own dignity. She's just along for the ride. Then something happens. You realize she is too easy. There are hotter girls out there and your stock is high. You don't care because you can get a girl whenever you want to, and one that's hotter, better at sex and has a better personality. You just need to stop caring, be willing to lose her, and then you will gain her and everyone else. Stop trying so hard."


The key to dealing with people you don't get along with is changing your behavior towards them, not trying to change your personality or theirs. You can waste a lifetime trying to change someone (as many married people have figured out the hard way), so why not try to take a different approach towards that person instead of trying to change two fundamentally constant things (his and her personalities)? Water goes around the boulder, it doesn't blast right through it.

OP, focus on what makes yourself happy, regardless of whether this woman is going to come along or not instead of taking advice from strangers that call you an "emotionally insecure dick" without ever having met you. You will never get anywhere by trying to change yourself to be with or stay with a particular woman. You either need to put her in her place and change her behavior or move on. Either way, continue to be yourself and ask if this is what you really want.


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