Ok so my gf of 4 months dumped me a couple weeks back saying she wants to be friends. I said being friends would be too hard for me and basically shut down the whole idea. I was strong at first but caved and went full AFC. It went something like this

me "it would be too hard for me. Has to be this way. I know you'll understand."

her "I know it will be hard but you can't just disappear..."

me " nah, im not running i just need some time away to workout some stuff."

me"so no more dramas, lets just go back to how things were before our relationship. I'm sure you're as tired of it all as i am."

me" no offense intended either, i enjoyed our time together. Haha and sorry i wasn't what you were after. I've never been good at meeting expectations ."

As you can see i sent 3 texts in a row and she never responded. Been in no contact for 2 weeks now. I didn't beg or anything but i think it could have been handled much better. Also her birthday is next week and she knows i'm aware of it. Her birthday is during the week and i am invited to her party that weekend. Now i want to leave this door open to get her back in the future if i'm still not over her. What would be the best thing to do in this situation? Keep up the NC? wish her a happy birthday and not go to her party? stay away for a while and re-engage when i have my shit together? Set me straight! Btw i believe a big factor in why she dumped me is because i wasn't "man enough". as in i started out with a strong frame but eventually went full beta and she lost interest.

Sounds like your not in the right frame of mind to go to the party. If your worried about acting beta or what you should do etc. just don't go. Text her happy birthday and move on. Go no contact and do exactly what you where thinking about....disappearing. Let her see you out with other girls and go from there. Quit contacting her starting immediately.

Don't text her. Don't go to the party. Fuck her birthday.

"But that'll hurt her feelings!"

If she had that same consideration for you, she would never dump you. She knew you two might not be friends and she went through with it anyway.

A Star Wars analogy never hurts...You remember that scene in "The Empire Strikes Back" where Obi Wan and Yoda tell Luke not to take off and he does anyway? He wasn't ready for the fight he was determined to wage, and what happened? He lost his fucking hand and was dealt some truth he, plain and simple, wasn't ready for yet.

You may be able to make this girl into a FWB one day, but it's not this one. Your emotions aren't stable right now. Going to this party is a bad idea. You don't know how she'll celebrate. And with who. Know what I'm saying?

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Yes i do understand what you're saying. Well i definitely wont be going to her party, too unstable indeed. Gratitude guys.

Dont text her happy birthday either. If she gets mad then at least shes investing emotion on you, which is a good thing.

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If you go to the party you wouldn't be able to enjoy and more importantly why should you go? I wouldn't bother texting her anymore either. You know deep down yourself that if you keep her out of sight, she'll be out of mind also. She missed out on the chance to have you when she finished your relationship. Forget about her and move on and enjoy life.

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Agree. Put her on full ignore for now. she needs time time to think about why she's dumb while you move on and recover from your texting snafu and gftow.


It's done. Move on.