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Hey man,
Your post has reminded me of what causes women to give us, men, their last minute resistance - LMR.
When you said that you spend hours on the phone with her and texting her often, that means that you most likely don't play that flirty push-and-pull game with her the right way. In other words, because you're not making her chase you, she's using you and manipulating you in many different ways. She does it because it turns out that you need her more than she needs you.
Man, knowing how to flirt with girls is such an important topic because every time you stop flirting with a girl, you face the risk of completely killing her attraction to you.
To set you in the right direction, I suggest that you check out my article on how to avoid girls' last minute resistance - LMR where I'm sharing the key strategies on how you should go about playing push and pull with her so that she constantly wants you. Here's the link:
http://www.pickupflow.com/lmr.html
Hope this helps.
Bruno
@Demonkaz: I would strongly advice you to not do the above in this particular situation. Its a good post, with good, decent advice IMO, but not suited for this situation. Really, this is not about Last Minute Resistance. LMR is when you are both alone, ready to go and she resists. This is not the case.
This is really a mixup of misinterpretations... I commented my point of view inline...
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Yeah, that is precisely the point. I have clearly shown I'm intersted, did pretty much anything short of droping on my knees and singing a ballad. She still won't make up her mind.
How did you do that? Please explain.
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It's like she shares with me very personal stuff, turns to me anytime she needs support, almost always initiates the conversations, we had some playful sex talks, all that. BUT she still flake on me more than once and has yet to agree to go for a coffee or anything resembling a date.
Great! except for the flakes then, but its kinda normal. She is interested in you, but is showing you that she doesn't need you yet.
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Sometimes I have the clear feeling she is testing if I am "boyfriend material", wich is pretty much what I'm aiming at. But then for some reason she always holds back, wich is strange, she is usually a very outgoing person.
Really mate, i just can't figure out how you can get this far, and not have told her you liked her and you want to be with her. Yes, she is testing you! She is hanging out with you and every once and a while she sits back and checks what kind of man you are. She was hurt before, she doesn't want to get hurt again, so she is testing and checking how much of a man you are.
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One thing that has been holding me back is my game. I tried following the rules of game other girls for preselection, act cocky, all that. She has dated a fair deal of bodybuilder jerks, and I'm average at best. So now my theory is that I've been giving her the bad part of her previous relationships without the good part. In fact, since I abandoned the cocky game act and started mixing alpha stuff with some afc behaviour (like caring about her, complimenting, giving her attention...) it seem she is in fact closer to me.
I dont know how much i am going to say this again, but: she has trust issues. She doesnt want a bodybuilder jerk anymore, she doesnt want a freaking player anymore. She wants a real man. It is indeed your game that is holding you back, because she doesn't want to play games, she doesnt want a player. She wants the real thing, no games, just a real man. What is a real man? It is somebody who goes for what he wants, straight without detours, without a pussy escape route. It needs to be somebody who is dares to put himself in a vulnerable position, because he knows that he can take it of it all goes wrong. A real man has the balls to do just that and a real man is tough enough to suck up defeat/rejection. Its schoolboys that go cry in the corner when rejected.
Caring about her, giving her attention is not an AFC thing to do. It is only AFC if you think of your caring and complimenting as currency for her attention/love/booty. Especially if you want an LTR, you need show her that you can listen to her, that you care for something deeper then just her vagina and anus.
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Is it possible she is intersted in something serious and is testing me to see if I am up to it? That is why I thought about freezing, to give her a kind of shock of "I won't be around forever, so make up your mind".
Yes it is possible! But what you fail to understand is that she is waiting for you to make up your mind. I think you want to do whatever it takes to make her come to you, to force her to make the first move. But it will never happen. Not in this situation. She is waiting for you to make the first real move.
What she wants is clarity. Remember, this girl has trust issues, so it is up to you to deal with that. Its not up to her to come to you. You can say things all you want, give those little IOI to her, but that is not clear language. To her it can mean a million things. If you start flirting or playing push pull trickery, you will distantiate yourself from her again.
My advice: if you want to get anywhere in this situation, show her that you are a real trustworthy man. The next time you meet up, turn her around, look her deep in her eyes and tell her you really like her, and would go for the next step, or tell her and kiss her. It doenst really matter what it is you do, it needs to be unambiguous.
This is what i htink about it.
cheers
CHAT
