hi guys,

well i had a vary long massage to you guys describing any part of my situation and electrical blackout whipped it all... so that is a bad start, so i will try to make it shorter and if you need any info just ask i really need help with it!
i am 20 and my ex is 19 and she broken up officially with me 4 days ago and sense that i started NC but i am afraid it will not work... need your help

so this is why i am afraid NC will not work on her...:

1) i tried "soft next" on her 3 week ago where i ignored her for a week and didn't replay massages and didn't call... that's why she kind of broke up with me, on Facebook she changed cover photo to only herself and hidden relationship status, so i called the morning after that so it wouldn't look like i am calling because she changed something... talked casual and said there is a new movie we should go see... she was pissed at me for acting like nothing happened.. (i was surprised she even answered right away).
i apologized for this and tried to work things out but she was still angry... she is in a vary intense course of studding and doesn't have her phone almost all day only at evening so we kept talking at night casually and decided to meet up at the weekend to talk things through...
we met and had a lot of fun kissing and talking and even talked before bed like old times but had a small fight because she fell asleep in a middle of the call .. next morning we talked and i wanted to know if we are together again but she didn't want to say yes and i didn't want to leave it hanging in the air so i said we cant talk as friends and she needs to choose if she wants to continue as bf and gf or not talk at all... i pushed her until she said no...
so that was the final break up before 4 days we didn't talk from that day and i am trying NC to somehow get her back...
*because i have ignored her for a week i am afraid she will not mind not talking because she might got use to it... and she does not miss it that much.

2) another reason i think NC might not work is because she is vary busy with her course with new people and new things she is learning she does not have time to think about me and about our relationship and the fact we are not talking... am i right? how can i get her thinking about us and get her back.. ?

*about the NC- we will have 1 year together in 3 days and she may contact me.. should i respond or keep NC.. also in 3 weeks i have my birthday and she might contact me then- same question as before should i break NC or keep going and when and how should i stop?

would be happy to hear some thoughts on what i should do..any questions feel free to ask

She already has more power than you, because she made the decision to break up. I think breaking NC would only give her more power, and its very unlikely that she will get back together. If you do break NC an manage to get her back, it will most likely be out of pity and it wont last, as it automatically puts her on the pedestal.

The best thing to do right now is just stick to the NC and hope she will contact you on your 1 year anniversary, or your birthday. But dont just sit and wait, distract yourself with your friends and hobbies, and even with gaming if you want, because there is nothing you can do about, NC is the decision with the most likely chance of working, but yes its not guaranteed to get her back. Thats what I think.

she broke up with you so move on. Go out, talk to girls, improve your online game, improve your social status.
She need to study that must be very hard on her, also means that she is stressed, also means that she thinks about what she did.

When she said you are no longer a couple your answer should have been "are you sure? OK than", that means you gain more power.

How to get her back.
Do not contact her, do not talk to her or think of her. Go out, sarge more. Update your facebook page. trust me she does check your facebook page.
In a few weeks she will contact you. She may be calling or texting you. Do not answer her right away, show her that she is not that important to you. Let her call you 1-2 times and after that call her back. If you are in a bar with friends and she calls, let her ring 2-3 times, and answer. She will hear that you are having fun and tell her that you can't talk to her right now and you will call her back. That gives you a lot of power over her.

Talk to her casual, keep it simple. You now have the chance to game her over again. If you want to make it last, you need to change something, of you don't you will only make a lot of mess.

How to game a girl? Check out Adam Lyons, Gambler, Style, Mystery and find your own way into gaming girls. Meanwhile go out and practice!

You're so young. I envy your youth. I got married when I was 20, it was the biggest mistake of my life.

Leave serious relationships until later in life. This is an opportunity to improve yourself. Now you have nothing to lose.

If you could fuck any woman in the world right now, who would it be? Would it be your ex-girlfriend? Let's be honest. It would be a fucking smoking hot supermodel, not your ex-girlfriend.

Go full no contact, let her fuck other guys. Destroy the "perfect" and "virginal" image you had of her. Mourn the loss, move on and date other women. If she comes back (and I stress if) you need to be way past caring about her, your state of mind should be like a clean slate (almost as if you'd never met her before) if this has any chance of working.

It's really the jealousy aspect of being dumped which messes most guys up. The natural thought process is "OMG she's gonna fuck another dude and suck his dick, I need to win her back ASAP before that happens!" when really all this does is push her further away and makes her realise she made the right decision leaving you.

NC means NC. Don't find excuses to contact her. I would kill to be in your position right now. If only I knew then what I know now...

This is great advice. honestly you need to have your heart broken because it teaches you about YOU. This girl dumping you is a REFLECTION of your own self... no one else. Its ok to take it a bit personally, but LEARN, GROW, and move on from it... you will laugh years later when you have a way better girl in all areas then this current girl.

as Hunter said... if ONLY we knew this information sooner.... you have the opportunity. Enjoy your youth, set a GOAL as 2 what YOU are looking for out of this. You can and WILL do so much better then this girl IF you work on YOURSELF. Getting the girl is as much (if not more) and INSIDE job than an outer one.

Best wishes,
Duke

well this was my first post here and i cant believe how much it helped me... every one of yo helped to set my mind straight again!
That really is the main reason that i want her back and only now i realize how stupid it sounds.. so thanks for that perspective!

i started with PUA 3 years ago and after 4 short and long relationships from which i have learned a lot i have found my last ex gf and everything was grate and gave up PUA for her, i was sure she was the one!!
but she had let me down... i guess that is why it is so hard for me to get over it.

i know many of you don't think i should get back with her (maybe i must learn the hard way ), but i would really like to give it one last try...
so i have some questions:
1) if she does contact me, understand i should not respond right away but how should i respond and when?
how do i go about dealing with getting her to want to get back together, with out saying so myself...?

2) in case i want to move on i still have her on Facebook and a lot of her friends and even her mom... should i delete any of them?

Hello!

Like a child curious as to why the adults keep saying 'Dont do that, that's bad for you', you will, inevitably try to give things another shot. and it will end up biting you in the ass.

When the paper is crumpled up, it cant be perfect again - A nice analogy for your relationship.

But trust me, no matter how hard and how many times we say dont do it, you will still do it. So you might as well dive in, head first with some decent advice.
You need to understand that your life doesnt revolve around her anymore, and that you have better, more intresting and fun things to do than wallow in self pity about the breakdown of your relationship. Nothing screams desperation more than waiting for a text. from your ex. on your birthday. Ergh.
Delete all. They will understand. Ending a relationship is related to 'something' dying. You need to cut off all ties and move on. Seeing them on your facebook feed, what they're upto, what sort of things they're doing will just constantly remind you of the heartbreak and 'what could have been' things. You dont want that. You dont want that at all.

If anything, deleting them from your facebook gives you a massive advantage. it allows you to gain control of your life again, it allows you to control WHO you see, WHEN you see them and WHY you see them. It gives you the foothold to say "hang on, i dont want you in my friends network, go fuck yourself." it gives you CONTROL over your life again, it gives you that mystery. It makes your ex go 'What the fuck is he doing?' and if she's not asking that question, then clearly it wasnt worth salvaging in the first place.

Overall, you will survive. and it will take time. I'm a couple of months after a breakup now and immediately put no contact into effect. I feel fine. Not amazing- but fine, i know i'll be better.

Good luck.

Sin

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I'm listening.



Formerly Sinful of the Paragon Project. Come and say hello!

Going NC with the purpose of winning your ex back is pointless.

You have to be doing it for yourself, and in any case if you're ex does contact you, we're talking months, usually after things go south with whoever she was most probably talking to towards the end of your relationship.

I have been NC since 6th October. I have heard nothing. If someone said to me on the day she left me "Rough, if you go NC now I can tell you that she won't have contacted you by 30th January next year" I would have been crushed. But right now I honestly do not care. That is how you will feel.

You are all right there is no point getting her back with NC it is more for me to help forget her...
so thats what i am going to do from now on.

i guess i just want to make her jealous and think about what she has lost...
is that stupid?
how can i achieve that?

question 1 and 2 are very similar.
Facebook is a very useful tool in now days. You can delete her and all her friends, her mom etc. and it is going to be okay, but also you send out a message "i'm hurt and i don't know how do deal with this right now and that's why i am so pissed on you so i am not going to talk to you ever again" and this is still an ok reaction.
You can also choose to leave them friends on your facebook account, but make sure that you unfollow them so you do not get sucked in. Unfollow every person that is related to her and make sure that you are invisible to them on chat. This will give you to change something. You can get back with her and keep it cool, she will be able to see what are you doing (party, new girls, friends and many many other DHV). Her mom will still check your facebook.
Also very important thing is not to check her facebook page, trust me on this, hurts like hell when you do that and you see that you girl is dating a retard.

In case she's calling you, speak to her like you would speak to a friend you don't like very much. I mean she was your best friend until when she made you feel like hell. Speak to her only in a very safe location for you, that means in a place with your friends around, they will be there for you.
Why make her feel jealous? She doesn't deserve that. Making her jealous means you put time and effort just to do that and she may know that, so leave her alone, she's just a stranger that you share some great moments.

that is right!! thank you bamthebomb.



well i decided to clean my room from things that might remind me of her and i had a weird feeling...
when i looked at pictures of us i didn't feel sad i felt "happy", i have this weird feeling like we didn't break up at all..
is that normal? - even though we didn't talk for a week
feels weird as fuck. any ideas?

Someone on these forums told me that "the best revenge is living well" when I was feeling heartbroken.

It's so true. Get fit, take up yoga, improve your diet and start lifting. Get a new haircut and some new threads, change your style up a little. Make sure you look fucking sexy so that you're picking up girls hotter than her and just in case you run into her, she can see you haven't been lounging around in a vest and sweatpants, wanking into a sock and crying.

Wanking into a sock is minging... Washing the sock would surely just cover the rest of your clothes in stringy jizz. You could at least be classy and crack one off into a bag of Doritos and throw it out the window. Then cry yourself to sleep along to Michael Bolton ballads (extra points if you have a mullet).

Any ideas why i feel this way is it wierd?

I'm just bringing this topic back on, since i've just been left a day ago. I just submitted my own post with the history and the fact, that she still loves me.

I'm devistated, but i felt great after reading this topic. Not feeling great because of topic-starters sadness, but because of a lot of the really clever words in here.

Especially these two quotes:

"Why make her feel jealous? She doesn't deserve that. Making her jealous means you put time and effort just to do that and she may know that, so leave her alone, she's just a stranger that you share some great moments"

"The best revenge is living well"

I got goosebumps when i read them, and my mind felt better. I know that it won't continue, but right at this moment it made me forget her and made me want to become better my self! - I copied the quotes into a word document, so i can read them whenever i feel bad. I hope topicstarter is feeling better!

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A huge pussy, but that's about to change!