yo!
My impression is that nice guys finish last, and douchebags/badasses do get ALL the girls. Is this true?

I am this nice guy, and this annoys the shit out of me. That girls almost only talk to me when they need something, not just to talk, i always sit at home, but when i'm out at malls or something girls stare at me (i'm good looking, atleast that's what i have heard). What should i do to not be this nice guy anymore?

I want to be the confident badass that girls high on the scale wants to be with. Pleae help!

Thanks!

It's the sad truth that women seem to be smitten with men who're total dicks to them. I'm a nice guy as well, but I always throw in a little bit of manly prowess to the equation. Women like men who can handle themselves, you need to show these women who mean business and they will be more interested in you.

It's a lot harder to get women when you're a nice guy, but it can be done.

i do not want to be the nice guy, i want to be the other guy that the girls wants
any ideas on how to change into a confident beast?

here's the thing, girls want a balance, between a total asshole and a jerk, assholes are usually self-conscience while nice guys are usually insecure also BUT assholes use their mean jerk like personality to mask it and make it look like false confidence

now girls like badasses for many reasons

1. they make fun of them (neg them
negging basically shows a girl that you won't go head over heels to make them happy, if you do it in a charming way its the biggest way to win a girl's heart, because girls want to feel equal

2. confidence
confidence is shown through alot of things BUT the main way its shown is through body language, 3 men can walk into a restaurant and without even looking at them all the girls would be attracted to one (even if he's not attractive) because he walks with confidence.....confidence is a huge thing

3. they are not always "there"
most nice guys will either over compliment girls, buy them too much stuff, worry about their problems too much, or text back to frequently....an asshole often forgets to do all these things, making a girl wonder if he really likes her, and if not what can she do to get him to like her

the problem is, asshole don't know how to balance the mean with good, being mean only works for so long and girls want romance and gifts and things that make them feel good, THAT'S WHEN THE NICE GUY COMES IN (basically to pick up the remains)

i was considered a nice guy once but i balanced it out and was able to avoid the friend zone for many girls because i was really a gentleman, all girls want a gentleman (like james bond) but most guys can't tell the difference between a gent and a nice guy....so here's a post i wrote explaining the differences gents-vs-nice-guys-vt171718.html

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"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

How do i get enough confidence as you describe here? That girls notice me and so on.
Thanks for a great answer, i will read that link

confidence comes slowly, its not just something to comes over night, you have to find a reason to say you can do anything....basically whenver you want to achive something don't doubt yourself always say i can do it, and sooner or later you will believe yourself and then it will show in your body language, you might be attractive (idk how you look) but confidence will add to it

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"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

Well there is no "trick" or anything to make you confident. You have to go out there, overcome your fears which is probably the most difficult thing and as you do this you BECOME confident. Other than that you can watch your body language. This at least displays confidence even if you´re really not. Women will notice confidence through body language first so that might be a way to start.
And let me tell you one important thing you should think about: Woman are attracted to men whose feelings for her are UNCLEAR. Think about that...
And also check this out...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkMLBlUyxHo

To summarize the basic idea of why bad guys finish first, it's because they have balls. They are strong, independent people who really don't give a fuck of what others have to say. It is this lack of dependence and high confidence that causes women to flock to them. It's because they're not looking for a boy, as a typical nice guy embodies, they're looking for a man who can support themselves, and possibly her as well.

Nice guys are capable of finishing first if they establish their own strength and independence. All it takes is for them to not be pushovers and to only be nice when the people in consideration deserve it. Being nice to everyone just makes you look like a pussy, and that is not what women are after.

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

Basically i do agree with you. But still you cant really say that in general. Because when i look at the streets or even just at the people i know from my social circle, there are tons of fucking nice guys and pussies and the all have a girlfriend. Now im not saying they will be together forever and shit BUT they all got some pussy just through being a nice and polite guy. So being just nice, and having no balls can get you a girl too. Probably not for very long but thats a different topic...

You're right, there are always the exceptions of where the pussy gets pussy. However, you also have to take into consideration how the relationship looks when a wus is involved. I can guarantee you that the control would lie with the woman, not with the nice guy who lacks any balls. The purpose of standing your ground is to give you power and authority where those non-assertive men aren't. This power also makes you more attractive to a larger variety of girls than those nice guys who fail to stand their ground.

In addition, the question here is not over that nice guys never finish, it's that they finish last. It's all a matter of range and abundance. A nice, polite guy who never stands his ground is not going to attract as many women as a nice, polite guy who does stand his ground. Don't get me wrong, I stand for assertive kindness, and that is why I promote the nice guy who has balls rather than the bad boy.

The end point I'm making is that if you want a really healthy relationship, or if you want to establish yourself as a man of good caliber, being an assertive nice guy is going to take you the most distance.

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

you have to realize that its "nice guys finish last" not "nice guys never finish....those women were probably dogged out with a high body count before she realized that a nice guy is what she needs......i almost promise you they wasn't her first choice but they either stuck around or was just there in good times..............nice guys are basically superman who rescue a girl who keeps putting herself in trouble

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"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

What a great thread!

A few quick questions:

1) - I'm the typical nice guy who frequently finds himself friendzoned. A girl in particular (I want a relationship, not just bang her) has a tendency for assholes and a mile long list of bad breakups. What would the best strategy be? Keep being the nice guy she can rely on, like someone just said, or become the next asshole in line?

2) - About confidence, I have been working on my confidence, but what is the best way to display it?

3) - When complimenting a girl, I am not the AFC wuss type, for exemple, with the girl I previously mentioned, I have complemented her when she changed her perfume, but when she changed her hairstyle to something that didn't favour her I said I liked it better the way it was before. Also, I have complimented her sense of style, but when we were talking about surgery and she said she wanted to get implants, instead of the AFC "nah, you look fine" I said that would be a good upgrade. Another girl I know said that I am very good at "constructive criticism" and has come to me more than once for advice. Is that what you meant?

If a girl has a string of asshole boyfriends, that means she is attracted to guys who act like an asshole to her.

If you want to fuck her, be an asshole to her. Or you know, just sorta make it happen in general. Making a move is always the first step. You always have to be willing to cut a girl out, no matter what.

thats the thing MOST assholes or jerks don't want to "find" relationships they just want to have sex but end up falkling for the girl.......alot of nice guys treat the girl like shes the queen of the world and end up being friendzoned

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"My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know."-Alfie

Amen to that. It's like what I once heard Derek Rake say: you treat the ladies like sluts, and you treat the sluts like ladies.

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"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."