| Yo. I've been a bit lazy, so... yeah.
Day 21 - What are these new powers!? (Week 3)
The first four days of the week were difficult, as always, but definitely not as difficult as it was before. What was the biggest factor for the week's difficulty was, however, that the week was a week off from school. Yeah, long hours of doing nothing in compelte privacy. Yep, totes not a fuckload of times when it was easy to relapce. However, I took it like boss and did not fap.
But it was hard not to, mind you.
For the week, I kinda developed a small habit that definitely wasn't going to make my journey easier; I started spending my private hours naked. Yeah, so fucking smart when I don't want any urges to fap and, well, having my dick exposed 24/7 isn't def gonna make me horny or anything. I did stop it by the weekend though.
But the pressure was there. I had a huge pressure down there to shoot my load. It wasn't as prevalent as it was last week, but it definitely there. All the time. I really felt the need to have a moist vagina or mouth around my cock anytime. I arranged a meeting to a local bar with two female friends of mine (and no, I wasn't interested in fucking them) for Friday night. I did so because I though I might find a chick there that'd be in for some pounding. Even though I was (and still am) a virgin, I felt as if I'd already had smex many many times before and I hadn't had any for a while. Yeah, fucking logical, I know. I was really desperate to get sex.
Then, something happened. I had a wet dream.
The night between Thursday and Friday I had a wet dream. The dream wasn't sexual at all at first, but by the end before I woke up in the morning I dreamt that I was lying in bed, naked, with two other random guys, all of us had a chick, and mine went to the toilet before we were going to get to the business. In the dream I got impatient and just kinda humped against the bed. Then I accidentally came. And then I woke up and saw that my boxers were in cum. I didn't shoot a lot of it, even though I probably should've since, well, I hadn't busted a nut for almost three fucking weeks.
But the psychological effects of it were really huge. I wasn't having any boners anymore during the whole weekend and I was really content with it. When I finally spent Friday night (and Saturday night as well, since a friend of mine came back to town) I was definitely checking girls out but I wasn't feeling it. I didn't feel the need to approach them and get sex. I was just content. Oh well, another reason was that I was just plain lazy lol. And there wasn't much selection.
But that's not all. I noticed (especially during the weekend) that I didn't care about pretty much anything in the world. And only in good ways! I just had a I-don't-give-a-fuck feeling all the time and it felt pretty good. I didn't have any pressure and I was feeling good and relaxed all the time.
Looks like things are gonna turn out just fine. I'm sure of it.
Day 35 - Laziness and horniness (Weeks 4 & 5)
Yo. Last time I apolgized for posting late. Ahahah, well...
Yeah. I felt really lazy and unenergetic so I didn't bother to actually do anything. Meaning I didn't write anything. I'm not especially proud of it lol.
For some reason I felt really unenergetic on the 4th week. I just couldn't bother to do anything. I didn't bother doing anything for school, I didn't bother writing here, I didn't bother doing anything for a few personal projects of mine... I think you got the picture.
During the fourth week I also did something that I really shouldn't have done. I accidentally came. Oh well, half-accidentally.
I felt like flexing so I took my jeans and hoodie off and started flexing on my bed. Then I noticed something. I started to get hard. And flexing felt good. Down there, that is. During my last No-Fap I noticed that staying in a stationary position that's difficult to maintain caused me to have an orgasm. It could take anywhere from half a minute to ten seconds. This time it took me longer than that. But I kept flexing untill I accidentally came. Or well, I... kinda.... kept on going because it kinda felt good... Anyway, I shot a huge load on my belly. Like, huge! I don't think I've ever produced that much cum during an orgasm in my entire life.
It was hard to decide whether I just relapced or not. I didn't really intend to do it but at the same time I kinda kept on it the hopes of cumming. Finally I came to the conclution that it was just an accident but a second time would already be intentional. So I just went along the challenge as if nothing happened.
During these two weeks I've actually been getting quite a lot of boners. Usually they've gone away pretty quickly but sometimes I really felt the urge to jack off. I brushed it off but it was really hard to do. My dick was getting really desperate to get something moist around him. Or a hand. It didn't really matter to him which.
During the fifth week I also started fantasizing about sex. And recalling previously seen porn. In fact, I'm fantasizing right now as I'm writing this post. It just kinda comes without having to think about. I can't help it, I'm thinking about sex a lot. It's really hard not to. Also, whenever I accidentally notice a sexy picture or a picture of porn... I kinda stay there and watch. Not in the sense that I'm looking at porn, more like in the sense that I don't turn it off immideately. It's definitely not making this any easier.
But I'm hanging in there. And I'm not going to stop. _________________ α♂
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