I've been thinking about my life during my alone time and realized we have a passive aggressive friendship. Friends should help each other succeed by being encouraging -but you constantly try to bring me down by being insensetive :'( cuz you think its flirty and alpha cool. Insults aren't flirting. Flirty = funny.

I feel sad that its come to this point but I can't keep giving you chances hoping that you would revert back to your sweetself. [CENSORED NAME], this is the last stand. Even though I like you and I like spending time with you - ik that it's not good for me to have my self-esteem attacked and I will have to FORCE myself even though it will be difficult to stop messeging and responding.

(i've already told her to stop being bitchy several times and although she has an emotional reaction each time. she's still not getting the message).

PLEASE tell me if i should send it to her or not.
Thanks all feedback will be read and very seriously considered.

(we have already spent 30+ hours on SPAM and 10+ texting along with some sexualization. i would like keep her as a friend)

Only read the heading and the answer is No.

You're a man, you shouldn't be involved in this type of emotional behavior...
Don't send texts, act it out.

Just stop giving her attention and when she demands an answer tell her in the simplest way possible that you'd like to take this to a level of friendship and would like to cut off any sexual stuff between you. Simple, clear and easy.

This.

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+1 on only reading the title of the topic.

Answer is No. Capital N.

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Everyone is saying NO but I don't understand WHY NOT.
Please explain why not. I need to understand.



In other words, YES I will be giving her less attention and this will make her want to chase me back and win me over (hopefully). However, unless I tell her WHY I am doing so - then she won't know HOW TO WIN me back (by stopping to be bitchy).

Ugh. Sounds like you are going to do it anyway, so why are you even asking? Because I have tried this and it works horribly, as in not at all. In order to get a girl back or to start being interested you have to PLAY IT COOL. Writing a letter like this is the opposite of playing it cool. You are only going to make things awkward between you two at best.

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No because ultimatum should be a word you should immediately remove from your dictionary the moment you read this post.




You can give her less attention without ultimatums.She'll feel it and she will know why. If she doesn't , she'll ask. If not,she's not worth your time. Simple as that.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT SEND.

I am certainly no PUA and only been interested in 'game' since the start of this year but this idea and content within makes you look like a complete bellend.

DO NOT SEND.

Your aim is to be able to laugh when your "self-esteem is attacked".

You're giving her complete control over you here. You're also way overthinking it.

And agreed with what's been said already. A man doesn't give ultimatums. A man just splits town.

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Think about if YOU were given an ultimatum dude? How do you react to that? My guess is not well....

This makes a lot of sense.
Making an ultimatum is the opposite of playing it cool. In fact, it's very reactive.

I think I won't make an ultimatum but....

NEW APPROACH
I just won't text her for a week and even if I do text (by including her in a group chat KIK) by messages to her will be short. After the week is over I will send her this new edited text

"I've been thinking about my life during my alone time and realized we have a passive aggressive friendship. Friends should help each other succeed by being encouraging -but you constantly try to bring me down by being insensetive :'( cuz you think its flirty and alpha cool. Insults aren't flirting. Flirty = funny. "

And I WILL NOT send her the ultimatum part of the text
"I feel sad that its come to this point but I can't keep giving you chances hoping that you would revert back to your sweetself. [CENSORED NAME], this is the last stand. Even though I like you and I like spending time with you - ik that it's not good for me to have my self-esteem attacked and I will have to FORCE myself even though it will be difficult to stop messeging and responding." (<---Because like you said an ultimatum is too reactive)


Note: The reason why I will wait a week to send her this text is to show her that I mean business and if she doesn't improve then I'm on the verge of leaving her.

Note: The reason why I cannot just ignore her (without telling her the reason after a week's time) is because she won't know why exactly. And hence even if she tries to win me back by being extra funny or sweet or whatever - eventually she'll go back to her previous behavior. She must know WHY I am ignoring her to ensure that she doesn't act similarly again.

----
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS NEW ALTERNATE APPROACH THAT I AM PLANNING ON TAKING?

I would take the person's request seriously. And decide there and then If I want to continue to be with that person or not.

(a) she won't know why because she's the type of girl that acts all TOUGH and COOL in attempt to impress me and ill doubt that she will ask why

(b) and no she won't just *magically* know WHY.

Yea , I used to find excuses and try rationalizing all kinds of shit too.

Like I said , if she won't know why she'll ask. And if she doesn't even ask , she's not worth your time.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.